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I'm 30-something. I play games and sometimes type things. I summon deities and demons, shoot raiders and wish to settle down with another girl for turn-based battles on the beach, chocobo rides and torchlit dinners in ancient Nordic tombs or mysterious castles that appear at night.

When I'm not slaying dragons or saving the galaxy, I'm probably roaming the open world, rolling into a ball to access secret passages and seeing if my Paragon rating is high enough for discounts at the mall.

For other things and stuff about me you can read here, here and here. You will learn of my origins, my trials and tribulations, how I became a superpixie and what games I really, really like!

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Last week I called dibs on Pikachu, though I generously let Script usurp my Smash dibs. It was confirmed last week via a Nintendo Direct that Pikachu is now a king, but that's fine - I have other royalty to turn my attentions two and she doesn't exactly have to be in Smash Bros. to count. My Queen, no, my Empress is coming to Persona 4 Ultimax as of now. 

Chie, Yukiko, Rise, Naoto, Marie, Yukari and even the glorious Mitsuru Kirijo pale in contrast to the ultimate waifu powers of Velvet Room assistant, Margaret. 

Her sense of calm and maturity always made a strong contrast with many other characters I met in the Persona games. Sure, Elizabeth is cute and aloof and I played her in Margaret's absence since I do like characters that do that Magneto projectile spam, but Margaret has my heart and always has. 

Not just for her calm, grace, maturity or beauty, but also because of her eyes. 

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and, on most people not of the Vevet Room attendant variety, yellow eyes tend to come off as creepy and meanacing - but not on Margaret. The contain wisdom, fearlessness and the total willingness to wreck your shit if you're not up to snuff. 

All those friends you made on your journey? All the bonds you forged? You're gonna need them if you want ot take her down. In the SMT multiverse Margaret stands near the top-teir of all megabosses. Her power is close to, if not competing with that of the Demi-Fiend and Raidou Kuzunoha and she'll give you fifty turns to beat her before she annihilates you and your buddies completely in Persona 4. 

She's also not afaid to slap the swag out of you. 

Your cute little Soejima personas aren't going ot be enough, either. You only get one persona when you fight her in the ring. Margaret rolls with four Kaneko classics such as Cu Chulainn, Yoshitsune, Ardha and Helel, the divine form of Lucifer, who will shove Megidolaon down your throat at her behest. 

She's clearly been around. She has been in the presence of fairies, harnessed the power of samurai legends and watched Shiva and Pavarti become one divine being before gaining dominion over the prince of darkness.

Margaret also has a fight theme that beats all the rest, so there's also that. 

I'd honestly just surrender and kneel before the Empress Margaret. You're not worthy of her. She is mine, forever... or at least sometime in the next few weeks when I have a PS3 again. You've been warned, hands off! Her glory is MINE.

There's something I've just been able to unsee in Dragon Age: Inquistion.

It's Dorian. He looks like Freddie Mercury. I'm not really even a huge Queen fan, but the likeness is just difficult to ignore. I'm willing to go so far to say that he's fully Freddie Mercury in video game form.

Sure, sure, Dorian's a mage from the Tevinter Imperium, a nation where mages can live openly and freely and less magical people aren't so important. This is a switch from most of the world of Thedas, where the Chantry and its Templars hunt down or subjugate mages - but whatever, because Dorian is legitimately Freddie Mercury.

In fact, that he is Freddie Mercury should be the thing the gaming press makes sure we know. It should be the headline, the first thought the reader encounters and we should not be able to think of Dorian without hearing Queen's epic anthems.

Yes, Dorian is sarcastic and witty. He doesn't like his culture's obsession with breeding the perfect mage. He doesn't care for all the preening and posturing of his peers. This is because in his free time, when he's not exposing corruption in his nation, he's composing the next great power ballad HE can strut to - because he's Freddie Mercury.

I don't think the press emphasizing that he is Freddie Mercury is diminishing to his character at all. It could be his defining character trait! I know Dragon Age's writers and designers would rather people know about the lore, world, story, combat, exploration, customization and choice... but whatever, it also has Freddie Mercury as Dorian. If he and the Inquistion don't break out into song and perform "We Will Rock You" mid-battle at some point, I may be disappointed and reluctant to recommended the game to others. I'm hoping the writers thought of that. If not them, then EA's marketing department. Is there still time to throw together a little machinima set to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" I think so!

Can't unsee Freddie Mercury. Seriously.

I also hear Dorian will invite you to some private jam sessions - but only if you're a guy. I'm a little disappointed about that because I'm decent with a guitar. I guess if girls want to rock out with Dorian they'll have to make a male Inquisitor. Maybe I will on the second playthrough - DA:I is a roleplaying game, after all.

Okay, so my brain is exhausted from this whole week and somehow I produced a dozen drafts, two blogs, several forum posts and ran around town dropping applications and resumes everywhere because that shiny, new job I had ran out of hours. As for games... didn't play anything, really, but that will change shortly. 

I was going to go see Ghostbusters in theaters this weekend, but dwindling funds made me reconsider.  Then again, I've had the whole thing memorized since it came out on VHS when I was a kid.

I am also back to house/dogsitting while my sister and her husband go adventuring somewhere - and I'm safely away from drunken roommates that pour water on greasefires. I'll probably swing by tomorrow to see if my apartment is still there before returning Monday evening.

I also need to pick some almond milk anyway because it helps me sleep well and I like having my weird dreams. Sometimes I blog about them, like that time I rode a raft with Chun Li and Cammy down a relaxation river with other Street Fighter characters. 

This week it was just a short dream, though:

It gave me an idea for this blog, though - allow me to interpret your dreams! Either post your dreams in the comment section or send them to me on Twitter @pixielated77 and I will crus... I mean, interpret them.

For extra fun I thought I might use the interpretations to create characters loosely based on c-bloggers for my run through Etrian Odyssey Untold's Classic Mode, then retell their adventures in blogs! I was going to do one based on Podtoid last year with EO IV, but it would have ended up being an adventure where nothing but horrible things happened to a beige warrior named Jonathan because a knightly Jim Sterling put him up to random bullshit

So it might be better to base it off c-bloggers. Then I could talk about that time I saw a deer - before it killed us all.

Anyway, send me your dreams and I will interpret them.

9:31 PM on 08.27.2014

There once was a soldier who had a gruff voice, didn't believe in heroes and infiltrated facilities in cardboard boxes. After saving the world from nuclear annihilation twice and becoming a legend he soon holed himself up in a small cabin in Alaska. There he cared for a pack of dogs and led a relatively simple life without incident. 

He had gotten a memo one day, you see. Solid Snake had been informed that politics and social issues had no place in games. Government conspiracies, bipedal nuclear mechs, terrorists and sociopolitical conditions always seemed to frame his battles. His allies were always radioing him with their perspectives and cultural viewpoints, their knowledge of political landscapes, weapons or what animals tasted like. Even his enemies seemed to want to talk about their histories and the wars where they came from. Talk, talk, talk.

Snake wasn't interested in in other people's lives. He liked this memo he'd been sent, so he posted signs around his cabin to let all potential trespassers know he would be no one's pawn again. 

The signs read: "Politics and social issues have no place in games."

No soldiers arrived to haul him away to do another mission. He simply lived in peace with his dogs, never having to hear or worry about terrorists, nuclear weapons, clandestine conspiratorial AIs, nanomachines, cyborg ninjas, PMCs or misunderstood clone brothers. He spent much of his time by the fireplace carving wood sculptures, reading and sipping hot coccoa - that or fishing and hunting.

One day Snake decided to forward the memo to an old Italian friend via email, in hopes of spreading this new, peaceful life he was enjoying. 

Hearing a familiar notification chime and knowing checking his smartphone while driving wasn't the best of ideas, Mario pulled his kart to the side of the road to check his email. His eyes widened as he read it and then he smiled. Later, he called everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom together in Toad Harbor to tell them the message Snake had sent to him.

There was a collective gasp. The princesses looked at each other as the Toads and Koopalings talked amongst themselves excitedly. Donkey Kong ate a banana and scratched his head. Luigi was there, but no one noticed.

A few moments later, all three princesses and Bowser renounced their status as royalty, abolishing their respective monarchies. With no political structure, there would be no more kidnappings or attacks on what used to be kingdoms. Since gold coins and bananas were also a source of political power and persistent unrest Mario, Wario and Donkey Kong abolished both as forms of currency.

Additionally, all sports were also abolished since Mario looked on the internet and saw the large history where sports sometimes started wars, promoted segregation and used athletes in war propaganda. None of that in the former Mushroom Kingdom, no sir.

Mario then fowarded the email to everyone on his contact list. Those places that didn't take email he and Bowser sent flying Koopa Troopas to deliver the message. They were dispatched to Hyrule, Ylisse, then Spira, Ivalice, Dunwall, to the Carribean and countless other lands and worlds!

Other kingdoms and even empires were dismantled, even animal village mayors stepped down from their offices. The Covenant and Spartans gave up combat for cross-stitching and basket weaving. The Templars and Assassins took up painting and sculpting. Adam Jensen started installing bathroom mirrors across Detroit for a living instead of smashing them. 

When Commander Shepard got the email it cut through her like a knife. This changed everything. She paced around her room, looking first at her aquarium then over at her shower and sighed. She had dealt with the Reapers, becoming a Spectre, fighting the geth, defeating the Collectors, curing the genophage and here she was trying to unite the galaxy... was it all for nothing? What had she been fighting for?

She called Samantha Traynor to her room and let her know they'd no longer be playing chess together because chess was based on monarchies and class systems. The same would apply to the crew and card games - no more poker nights for Vega and Garrus. Cards were linked to politics, too. Emperors, kings and historical or religious figures had been featured and carried on through card games all over Earth for over a thousand years.

Shepard also told Samantha they were going to need to break up because two grown women loving each other was apparently a political statement. It was social commentary - even though the crew of the Normandy lived in a future where humanity was supposed to have gotten over such things. It had no place in the game or their lives.

Shortly after the breakup, she went down to the command center to make an announcement. 

"Listen up, everyone, " she said. "We're cancelling our mission. From here on out we're on our own and no longer involving ourselves in the political affairs of other worlds or even Earth's. We're broadcasting a message out across the galaxy to let everyone and the Reapers know that games are no place for political commentary or social discourse. With any luck, simply doing nothing else may end the war."

The Quarians and geth stopped fighting. The Reapers went into standby. The Council, Alliance and Cerberus were disbanded. There was no celebration, however, only silence and boredom. 

Back on another Earth in another time, Solid Snake looked out his window, sipped some hot coccoa and sighed as his dogs slept. Another snowy day just like the last, though he noticed some strange cubed figures with pickaxes at times. 

"Minecrafters..." he muttered to himself.

Then his eyes widened and he spit cocoa all over his window. 


Oh, but it was now. Every world was thier game now. With no politics, no social issues, no rules and no governing purpose a universal Creative Mode was activated. It opened portals from Minecraft to all worlds, allowing the Minecrafters free reign to mine all materials and recreate worlds as they pleased.

The Tetris worlds were the first to fall since they were already cubed. Candy Crush was next, then everything in Fereldin was turned into a recreation of The Legend of Zelda's overworld. 

The Mushroom Kingdom was stripped of all its sweet, sweet gold. With no gold or sports to live for, Wario and Waluigi threw themselves on a creeper.

The Minecrafters smashed all Jensen's mirrors, something he never asked for. They tore renaissance Italy to pieces, leaving no parkour opportunities for assassins and no canvases to paint on. They chased the little guy that rolled Katamaris as the King of the Cosmos watched them work with envy. 

What were they planning to build with it all? Who knows? All Vincent Brooks and his friends knew was  The Stray Sheep was hacked to pieces, so they'd need to find a new watering hole. In Japan, high school kids couldn't even escape the Minecrafter invasion within the Dark Hour or TV worlds. Since no social issues were allowed there were no dark realms for humanity's collective unconscious to create and escape into.

Back in Alaska, Snake heard a warp pipe emerge near his cabin, then a knock at the door. Snake reluctantly answered to see a familiar face

"Suit up, Snake." Roy Campbell told him. "We're going to war and we need you."

To be continued?