I'm 30-something. I play games and sometimes type things. I summon deities and demons, shoot raiders and wish to settle down with another girl for turn-based battles on the beach, chocobo rides and torchlit dinners in ancient Nordic tombs or mysterious castles that appear at night.
When I'm not slaying dragons or saving the galaxy, I'm probably roaming the open world, rolling into a ball to access secret passages and seeing if my Paragon rating is high enough for discounts at the mall.
For other things and stuff about me you can read here, here and here. You will learn of my origins, my trials and tribulations, how I became a superpixie and what games I really, really like!
I would first like to thank faithful Bioware fans that dutifully purchased each Bioware game new (I went with used, personally) because they believed they were "supporting" the developer when that was never true. You were the first among many to support the online pass all because you were gullible enough to believe jobs were at stake. Had you ever paid any attention to how publishers like EA behave, you would have known layoffs after a project's completion are often the norm.
But no, you listened to the pleas of Bioware, Naughty Dog, Volition and acted like they'd be unable to feed their kids if you didn't buy their games new. Well, we all saw how well online passes worked out for THQ, didn't we? Didn't quite stop those layoffs at Bioware and EA at large, either. Thank you for buying your Maddens, FIFAs and Battlefields.
Thank you for Xbox One.
I would also like to thank everyone that dutifully bought any game supporting always-on DRM. You told us this wasn't a big deal, that it "didn't affect you" and, sure, for a time it probably didn't. Maybe it didn't happen to you on your UbiSoft PC games, but damn if the truth didn't rear its ugly head when Diablo III, Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm and SimCity came around and then you realized the truth - always-on DRM affects everyone.
Oh, but you couldn't help it - it was the next Diablo, the next Starcraft! As with Bioware, this was Blizzard, a studio that could do no wrong under the corruptive influence of a massive third party publisher. Or so you believed. Maybe you saw Blizzard as separate from Activsion even though you knew that wasn't true - yet you felt we could trust Blizzard's greater wisdom as game developers.
Or maybe you're just some privileged douche that happens to live in the American Northeast where Verizon FiOs is a thing or maybe you're in Kansas City where Google Fiber is. Maybe you're just so spoiled regarding your internet connection you're totally oblivious to how much broadband penetration in America sucks. However, had you actually googled some things about broadband availability maybe your initial "doesn't affect me" would have become an "Oh, wow, now I see the problem here."
Thank you for Xbox One. Even if the online check is just once a day, its one too many. I decide how, when and why my console connects, thanks.
I would also like to thank the people that complained about online passes and always-on DRM, but caved in and regularly bought games that supported them anyway. I don't care about the reason. I don't care if its because you just had to see the story when you could have looked up the cutscenes on Youtube. I don't care if all your friends were playing it.
Thank you for Xbox One. I mean, if everyone else is jumping off a cliff and all, why not join in?
Finally, I would like to thank all the shortsighted hipsters who hate Gamestop for the sake of hating Gamestop. Unable to see the bigger picture you bought games new elsewhere with online passes and other intrusive features all for the sake of sticking it to a store. Never mind the fact the practices you supported would inevitably affect the smaller, independent mom'n'pop stores you visited as well - you didn't care, so long as your petty anger helped push Gamestop toward the abyss.
Thanks for Xbox One. This is the console that everyone above deserves. Enjoy.
Enjoy watching your mom'n'pop game stores close because MS likely won't make the licensing fees for their new used scheme affordable. Thank you for a console that always watches and listens, but never trusts you to do what it deems right. Thank you for Big Brother in a box. Thank you for a console that probably won't work if you live in the boonies.
Actually, scratch that and change all those "thanks" to "fucks," as I have plenty to give.
Because despite the vitriol and rage some people are throwing over Xbox One right now, if you're among the types listed above you may still be on board and remain part of the problem. You may be waiting for the game reveals at E3 to "make sure" its not worth buying but MS's own hot PR mess leaves us with more questions than they'll ever be willing to answer pre-launch. No one should be buying Xbox One to "make sure." The second some of you catch a whiff of something interesting, though, you might be willing to compromise again, like you did countless times before with Diablo III, Bioware games and more.
With so many games out there, with so many options and so many developers and publishers still on the side of gamers and not the boardroom - is it really so hard to break away from these big, panic-ridden AAA publishers and try something new? We even have big publishers that don't do these things because they know its bad for business. Support the people that support gamers, not an investor's obsessive need for control.
But if you can't help yourself, fuck you for Xbox One because you helped shape the future that created it. When I saw these anti-consumer matters arise earlier this generation, I either committed to buying used if they had online passes or not at all if there was an always-on DRM. I didn't miss out on Mass Effect 2 or 3 - I waited and bought them used. I didn't go out and get Diablo III because plenty of alternatives have come up in the last 13 years since Diablo II. Turns out there's no shortage of dungeon hacks out there. Your games are still out there even if they don't share the same names.
For every game out there that's doing something you don't like, there's a game out there that's getting it right by gamers as fans and as consumers. Support that.