I'm 30-something. I play games and sometimes type things. I summon deities and demons, shoot raiders and wish to settle down with another girl for turn-based battles on the beach, chocobo rides and torchlit dinners in ancient Nordic tombs or mysterious castles that appear at night.
When I'm not slaying dragons or saving the galaxy, I'm probably roaming the open world, rolling into a ball to access secret passages and seeing if my Paragon rating is high enough for discounts at the mall.
For other things and stuff about me you can read here, here and here. You will learn of my origins, my trials and tribulations, how I became a superpixie and what games I really, really like!
So I've been off the blogging thing again for a bit. More or less life has been stressing me out and I don't like to bring that in to too much of my writing. Its one of those times where I feel pretty alienated even by family because they just can't bring themselves to listen. And I know where they got from. I remember the days as a kid where I watched my grandmother just browbeat my father over every choice he made in life at lunch and dinner,
Well, now its my turn, let's just leave it at that. Add to this that there are other people in my life trying and pushing to "fix" me and it annoys the shit out of me. If people would just give me space and stay out of my way, I could do what needs to be done and things would get bettet - it just seems like no one is willing to budge and choose to get in my way.
Largely because of that, I have turned to Final Fantasy VIII because I am totally there with Squall Leonheart right now in my most introverted state. I need to crawl my way out and find hope in humanity again - even if humanity can still be annoying and stupid at times. It ebbs and flows.
I also needed a massive, grindy collect-a-thon RPG in my life right now.
When you think about it, FFVIII is like a Christopher Nolan RPG. There are Memento and Inception-like elements all over that game. I have to collect summons, spells, cards and items to turn into other spells or items, plug those spells into the summons to boost my own stats and become grossly overpowered in the process. This while still building my ultimate weapons to get limit breaks that take things further over-the-top.
its not as much work as it sounds, actually and there's always something to do. I like that. The payoff is pretty good. It also helps that the card game, Triple Triad, is a nice diversion with great long-term rewards (Tetra Master, on the other hand, can go take a flying leap)
Another reason I was drawn back into playing it was looking at the game from two different fan theories - the Squall Is Dead theory and the "Rinoa is Ultimecia" one, in particular. If everything from Disc 2 onward never made sense to you, then the "Squall is Dead" theory seems to be a reasonable answer. The "Rinoa is Ultimecia" one is a bit more questionable, but it does explain some things Ultimecia does, says and why she's junctioned with a summon named after Squall's pendant.
That aside, it probably has one of my favorite soundtracks and even that has its mysteries. Turns out it took some time, familiarity with Latin etymology and some number-crunching to figure out the lyrics to what was originally just known as "Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec." Even that title (alternately known as "Liberi Fatali") was a puzzle - an anagram for "Succession of the Witches" and "love." which were two big themes of the game.
FFVIII is just a rabbit hole and still leaves you wondering how far it actually goes.
Its all helping me get my mind off the crappy stuff, that's for sure and that feels pretty good. I'll probably have some more thoughts about my replay as I get closer to finishing it.