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Hello, I recently had a conversation with a Dtoid worker, Mr Andy P. Dixon. I would like you all to read this chat and see what Dtoid workers do to hurt you, they lie, they abuse...


Mr Andy Dixon
11:19 PM
Let me guess, you like Pippin?

PippinForLife
11:20 PM
Yes.
I just read your PM
I am not happy.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:20 PM
Wow, a bit late.

PippinForLife
11:20 PM
Yeah.
Anyway, I am not happy and you owe me.
Write an article about the Pippin.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:21 PM
We're working on a full-fledged feature. I think you'll appreciate the work we've put into it.

PippinForLife
11:22 PM
May I have proof?

Mr Andy Dixon
11:22 PM
Sorry, top secret.

PippinForLife
11:22 PM
How many writers?

Mr Andy Dixon
11:22 PM
All of them.

PippinForLife
11:22 PM
Wow! Really?
You're lying.
I need proof.
Make sure Jim is not writing it.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:24 PM
But Jim is in charge of it!

Oh dear me. What have we done?

PippinForLife
11:24 PM
...
Who put Jim in charge?
I bet it was you.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:24 PM
You bet right.

I felt he was the only one who could do it justice!

PIPPIN4LIFE

PippinForLife
11:25 PM
You should be fired.
There isn't even a Pippin section up top.
There is a shitty PS3 and Xbox one.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:26 PM
We're unveiling the Pippin section alongside the feature I was talking about. We're dedicating an entire page to all things Pippin. We're calling it -- are you ready for this? -- The Pippin Hub.

PippinForLife
11:26 PM
Well, it sounds amazing.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:26 PM
You won't be disappointed.

PippinForLife
11:27 PM
I would love it, but I would also love some proof.
There is even a Wii section and the Wii is dead.
This is a disgrace Mr Andy P. Dixon.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:28 PM
Sorry, only the most die-hard Pippin fans have been allowed to preview the section. I'm afraid you just don't quite qualify.

PippinForLife
11:29 PM
HAHA, I am probably the biggest fan on this site!
I bet you don't even own a glorious Pippin!

Mr Andy Dixon
11:29 PM
I own several, actually. And what proof have you that you're such a big fan?

PippinForLife
11:29 PM
My name!
My blogs!

Mr Andy Dixon
11:29 PM
What's in a name?

PippinForLife
11:30 PM
Pippin

Mr Andy Dixon
11:30 PM
And anyone can write blogs.

PippinForLife
11:30 PM
I'm not just anyone.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:30 PM
I'm talking TRUE dedication. Have you any Pippin tattoos? Children named Pippin? I think not.

PippinForLife
11:31 PM
Do you have them?

Mr Andy Dixon
11:31 PM
OF COURSE! I'M IN CHARGE OF THE PIPPIN HUB!!

PippinForLife
11:31 PM
Who on Destructoid has them?
NO YOU DON'T!
Show me.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:32 PM
*lifts shirt* See! *pulls down pants* And here!

PippinForLife
11:32 PM
I can't see.
Make a post on Dtoid.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:32 PM
That's because you aren't looking.

Only true Pippin fans can see.

PippinForLife
11:32 PM
I can't see through a screen.
I am a true Pippin fan.
Name a Pippin game off the top of your head.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:33 PM
A true Pippin fan sees Pippin with his eyes open AND closed.

I'm tired of this time-wasting conversation. There are far more deserving Pippin fans I could be interacting with. GOOD DAY, SIR.

PippinForLife
11:33 PM
You don't own a Pippin.

Mr Andy Dixon
11:33 PM
I just told you, I own several.

Jim Sterling
11:34
Alright you dick milkers?
I came for you Andy.

PippinForLife
11:35
You called Jim Sterling?
Why?

Jim Sterling
11:35
When in doubt call Jimmy P. Sterling, baby!

Hamza CTZ Aziz
11:36
Yes Jim? You called.

Jim Sterling
11:36
Come and teach this Pippin kid a lesson.


The rest of the chat was too graphic for a Dtoid blog. They later called in most of the Dtoid staff to abuse me, they all sent me graphic pictures of their genitals, one covered in blood.








I've been thinking about what made the Pippin great, I eventually came up with a list too big for 10 sheets of A4 paper, BUT one point came out on top. The creators were NOT afraid to take risks. Let us see what risks the courageous geniuses came up with:


Anime Designer: Dragon Ball Z




Mario Paint came out in 1992 and was pretty much the most clunkiest and horribly put together game ever released, but after seeing a paint game on a console people wanted a good one! People pretty much prayed for an actual good paint game. We all prayed until... Anime Designer: Dragon Ball Z, I get goosebumps even writing about (You should see me when I'm talking about it). This game came out in 1996 and blew the world up, people camped outside their local game shop, bought it, ran home and shoved the mighty disc into the Pippin. It changed people, it inspired people, artists were born.


Web Browser

If you had a computer you were considered cool, people wanted to be cool. Apple heard about this and they wanted to change the world. After the success of many game consoles, Apple thought ''Why don't we combine a games console and a Macintosh?'', so they created the master system. Kids became cool, a sudden rise of coolness hit the streets.


The Pippin controller

Kids and adults around the world were sick of rectangle controllers and they were bored of the PS1 controller. Lucky for them, Apple created a superior and comfortable controller. The trackball in the middle was amazing for surfin' the web and painting. It is marvellous with the amazing colours. It actually felt comfortable.


That's all for now! Keep Pippinin' my fellow Pippiners!
Photo







PippinForLife
5:54 AM on 05.30.2012

Hello, I've been getting the same question from many people: ''Why do you love the Pippin?'', So I thought I should answer it...



I love the Pippin because it is revolutionary, it was something new and still it, I remember in great 95' opening my Pippin on Christmas morning. My smile was so big it was nearly off my face. The great piece of hardware was finally in my house, ACTUALLY in my house. I dreamt of the day of opening a Pippin ever since I heard of one! I used to make my own Pippin out of spare cardboard. I want a Pippin so bad, I wanted it so bad babe, I wanted it so bad it was driving me so mad, It was heavy however, the price was was too high for me to save up. I begged my parents, I begged my uncle, I begged my aunt, I begged my grandparents. They all said wait and see. That always gave me hope.

Christmas eve, that day was literally hell, there was a box the size of a Pippin under the tree! I was really excited, I couldn't wait to open the sweet, sweet Pippin and sniff the inside, fiddle with the controller. Happiness is a warm Pippin. I tried to sleep that night, oh boy I tried! I couldn't sleep knowing there was a unopened Pippin was under the tree! Something was stopping me from sleeping. I couldn't let it be, I wanted to sneak out and open the Pippin! ''Don't let me down, don't let me down'', I was saying that in my head because I kept thinking about opening it.

Christmas morning! I RUSHED UP, WOKE MY MUM AND DAD UP, GOT TO THE BOX... they were just toys, good toys, but not a Pippin. I was angry! I was sure it was a Pippin! So sure. Then my mum and dad walk out the room and come back in with a box... it was a Pippin...

I still play it to this day.