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Hi, I'm Phil and I'll be your God tonight.

by PhilKenSebben   //   1:47 AM on 12.28.2012

So I'm going to jump into this name thing because, why the hell not? It's fun. First I'll do my username, then we'll see what Mike gets us (probably herpes).

Alright first up Phil:

1. Phil

Very popular in high school, gets all the ladies but tends to have sex with all the older girls.

Always on some type of drug, usually a phil might be shy but he carries a big package below.

Warning - Phil's have a very high sex drive and will fuck anything, so be prepared.
John "Yo that kids got a big dick"


2. Phil

A God among men. Phil is all-knowing. Don't question his powers. He is often seen sporting a large brass instrument and wearing a purple tanktop.

3. Phil

Tall, blonde, cute, shy. doesnt really know how to flirt, but indirectly lets a girl know he likes her. likes blondes. has a good sense of humor. likes to buy a lot of sunglasses. wont hug the girl he likes cuz he thinks it might be awkward. indirectly adorable. likes girls with a name beginning with A.

4. Phil

The god to look up to. Future world conqueror and passionate lover. Intricate facial hair enthusiast. Effortlessly attracts all women. Thoughtful and cautious but never shy. World traveler. Never try to outshine or outsmart a Phil.

Dude 1: I just met a guy named Phil.
Dude 2: Did it blow your mind and change your world forever?
Dude 1: Damn right...

5. Phil

verb: to pull a Phil is to say something completely nonsensical which confuses/baffles human beings with normal, functioning brains.

"Did he just confuse armadillos with dinosaurs? That guy is such a Phil..."



Alright, I'm digging some of those and it's kind of creepy how a couple are so close to me, let's see what my real name gets us, Mike:

1. Mike

A real man. All them ladies are jealous of any woman dating a Mike. His hair parts like a beautiful waterfall. His eyes look like the ocean. His lips are warm and he kisses reaaalll good. He is the perfect boyfriend and any girl dating him will have very few female friends, because they're all jealous whores. Mike is fearless and will buy tampons for his woman. He is also very inappropriate in public places. I loooooove me some Mike. What is that God-like figure hovering over my bed? Ohh, it's just Mike.

2. Mike

Mike ; synonym’s : “perfection” “godlike” “sexy” “ridiculously good in bed”

Commonly known as the most interesting man in the world, there is never a dull moment with a mike. If I say more.. I might get wet. We’ll keep it nice and short.

I love mike so much, it makes me crazy
Last night was incredible .. i slept with mike.

3. Mike

A man who was gifted with magical hands.

Said to be a sexual deviant who can make the ladies tremble with delight at the pleasures protruding from his fingers.
Girl: "That guy knew exactly what to do with his hands! I think I'm in love..."
Friend: "Ha! Sounds like a Mike!"

4. Mike

The most amazing boy in the world. He is quiet around the masses but he opens up around the one he loves. He is extraordinarily protective in the best of ways. Mike can and will make you laugh harder than anyone else. He is the most adorable, cute, nice, sweet, kind, generous, loving, caring, genuine, funny, considerate, awesome person I have ever met. Every moment of my life would be better if I could spend it with him. I could talk to him all day long and we’d never run out of things to say. His smile can make my day; even if it’s from across the room. I love him more than the sun, I need him more than breath it’s self. I can’t imagine my life without him; it scares me more than anything. I will spend the rest of my life in his arms.

Me: Mike bought me a dozen roses for my birthday!
Best Friend: JEALOUS!
Me: What can I say, he's Mike.



Welp, looks like everything's in order and totally correct. What the rest of you got? HUH?

DROPS MIC









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