Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


Mike Martin blog header photo

Mike Martin's blog
destructoid  Community Whore-Lord

  Make changes   Set it live in the post manager. Need help? There are FAQs at the bottom of the editor.
Mike Martin avatar 8:20 PM on 11.28.2012  (server time)
A Declaration of War on the Bastard Smurfee McGee (NVGR)

Tonight an uneasy truce was broken. Decades of peace have been pissed away and many innocent people have and will continue to suffer, as long as this conflict is allowed to continue. Monday recapper and all around scoundrel Smurfee McGee rained his opening salvos down around me and my people tonight. Thousands were lost in this unprovoked attack. As I walked through the aftermath, stopping to pray with the injured and puke on the really gross ones, I steeled myself inside. I knew at that moment what must be done, so that future generations may live in peace.

Even Max can't stand the sight of this decrepit being.

This conflict must be ended. Once and for all. Only one of us will walk away McGee and that one shall be ME! Rather than hide behind my people, as if they were fodder (like you cowardly do), I have sent them off to safer lands. I have placed my children with those I can trust to keep them safe. I have regrettably had to postpone my nuptials with my new bride and walk away from everything and everyone I love. I'm coming for you McGee.

I am coming alone my dear Smurfee, with a backpack full of knives and socks filled with quarters. No longer shall I perch atop a ladder outside your window and fap. I shall perch atop a ladder and KILL now. Then I'll fap... because well... it's me. That's kinda my thing. Anyways, I shall be hiding in every shadow, every dream, every.... something. Do not worry too much yet though, you shall not be first. First I shall erase everything you love and cherish.


When everything you know and love is gone. Then you can start to worry. That's when I shall pounce upon you, like the lithe, 6' 4" 250lbs. cat I am. That's when my knives will begin stabbing into you repeatedly until I find your cold blue heart and cease it's beating, once and for all.

Or I'll just post a bunch of stupid shit here and crack jokes at you on Twitter, whatever.

   Reply via cblogs

Get comment replies by email.     settings

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*]   to your security software's whitelist.

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -