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Kiss Your Ass Goodbye
Phantom Spaceman | 9:38 AM on 09.09.2008 26 comments



The Annihilatrix.

It's been nice knowing you:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html


Artist's rendering of the Large Hadron Collider going tits-up.

Tomorrow the Large Hadron Collider goes online, and it's only a matter of time after that before we're fighting off Vortigaunts with crowbars.


Damn you, science!!!



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23 comments | showing # 1 to 23
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Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 09:59
Char Aznable
Fatty Ding-Dongs for VP.
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:02
randombullseye
Its like Stargate, but the women could have more than two breasts like Total Recall.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:06
Cataract
@Random

In that case, it's a risk well worth taking. Full speed ahead!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:10
king3vbo
Wait, if Armageddon is nigh, why am I at work?
FUCK
ryu89's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:11
ryu89
I've got a crowbar ready, just in case. Let's hope theres a theoretical physicist somewhere doing the same.
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:28
randombullseye
Finally those people who bought replica Highlander and Conan swords have a use for them.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:32
Brian Szabelski
Everyone got their Gravity Guns ready?
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:38
Tubatic
Aim for the head, or whatever's glowing, gents. We've learned nothing if not this.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 10:48
pendelton21
It's alright, people. The real dangerous experiments with this thing aren't gonna happen for at least a month. You have a lot more time to get your crowbars and restoration suits ready.
YONKE's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 11:08
YONKE
holy shit.......
in Freeman we trust.....
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 11:16
MrSadistic
I hope the Holden Caulfield Collider makes delicious steaks.
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 11:34
galagabug
i'm mastrubating furiously for the rest of the day.
Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 12:40
Half left
I'm already in the loft with a ton of tinned goods and a cricket bat.
dronkmunk's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:02
dronkmunk
" Fears have emerged that the collider could produce black holes that could suck up anything around them -- including the whole Earth. Such fears prompted legal actions in the U.S. and Europe to halt the operation of the Large Hadron Collider, alleging safety concerns regarding black holes and other phenomena that could theoretically emerge.

Although physicists acknowledge that the collider could, in theory, create small black holes, they say they do not pose any risk. A study released Friday by CERN scientists explains that any black hole created would be tiny, and would not have enough energy to stick around very long before dissolving. Five collider collaborators who did not pen the report independently told CNN there would be no danger from potential black holes.

John Huth, who works on the collider's ATLAS experiment, called such fears "baloney" in a recent interview, and noted that in normal physics, even if the black hole were stable, it could just pass through the Earth without being detected or without interacting at all.

"The gravitational force is so weak that you'd have to wait many, many, many, many, many lifetimes of the universe before one of these things could [get] big enough to even get close to being a problem," said Huth, professor of physics at Harvard University."

Amirite?
Conan-san's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:25
Conan-san
YOUR THE PROBLEM. NOT THE SOLUTION.

GET THIS NONSENCE OFF MY INTERNET YOU IDIOT.

CHRIST, IT'S BEING TURNED ON TOMORROW. TURNED ON. NOT HAVING ANYTHING BEING SHOT THOUGH ANYTHING ELSE.

IT IS NOT GOING TO BLOW THE UNIVERSE IN TWO BY BEING TURNED ON. THE WORST IT CAN DO IS BLOW ITSELF UP, JUST THE HLC AND NO ONE OR ANYTHING ELSE.

STUPID FUCKING IGNORANT FEARMONGERING TWAT.
Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:31
Aziel13
samurai swords check
food supply check
internet access check
plethora of video games check

well I'm all set
Phantom Spaceman's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:41
Phantom Spaceman
@CONAN-SAN: I"M JUST TRYING TO WARN EVERYONE OF IMPENDING DOOM MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE IT MORE SERIOUSLY AND TRY TO SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALSO I LOVE CAPS AND HATE PUNCTUATION AND HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF SARCASM KTHXBAI
vishusdelishus's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:42
vishusdelishus
Conan drank too much coffee today...relax guy he's not being serious. You can tell by the funny pictures.
Genfuyung's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 13:52
Genfuyung
I wonder how many people are going to sell all their belongings and move to bethlehem like in y2k. Heres to hoping a lot. dumbasses.
Conan-san's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/09/2008 14:12
Conan-san
The joke's not fucking funny.
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/11/2008 09:18
nebones
uh oh..
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