When we watch a movie or read a book, it’s not hard to believe the love stories. We’re given two characters, see them interact, hear bits of back story, and watch them fall in love. Happens all the time, no big deal right?

The capitol “P” Problem with romance in video games comes in when we the player, are expected to love the love interests. All of a sudden we’re one of the characters that are falling into a relationship. And that’s when it all goes to hell.

For the most part we could care less about anything that doesn’t involve us getting from Point A to Point B in a spectacular way. When we’re told that along the path there’s a lover, and let’s be honest here a big breasted lover, that every once in a while interrupts our travels then we get a little bothered and hope there’s a button to skip the cutscene.

This Problem is doubly confounded if you’re not attracted to the love interest, especially if you’re a girl gamer or gay gamer. All of a sudden you have this character that’s fawning over you, making witty banter (if we’re lucky), and at some point making out/having relations with us and we’re just kind of sitting there, horrified by the spectacle our avatars are going through without our control, or worse yet, with us playing a damned mini-game.

If we’re lucky there will be multiple girls to fall in love with. Several stereotypes that we the player can choose to woo. Although I find that this happens a lot more often in RPG-esque games and less so in the summer blockbuster style ones. I guess role players are more willing to spend time in cutscenes than run and gunners.

Actually, the most endearing love stories in video games come from the damsel in distress genre. When the girl is point B then it’s more like they’re treasure for us to find and not a creature to fall in love with. If you never have to interact with the lover, then it’s much easier to identify with the character we’re playing.

In the long run, much like our parents, game developers can’t tell us who to fall in love with. Try as they might.

Well, unless they bribe us with treasure.

An Aside: I must be jaded. I had no qualms about burning the weighted companion cube. I caught it winking at one of those turrets when it thought I wasn't looking.