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Patrick The Human's blog

11:31 PM on 11.22.2013


Do you guys know what today is? The 50th year aniversary of the JFK assassination? Well... Yes. But more importantly for this article, it's the 8th aniversary of the Xbox 360, the first 7th gen console to be released. This is the longest generation in history, and I'd say it's just as important, if not more, than the 5th gen . That's a bold claim to make, I know. Perhaps I say that because I've more or less grown up with this gen. I don't- I can't- remember a time before the PS3, 360, and Wii were the big three competitiors. After all, I wasn't even ten when I got the Wii. So In honor of the gen I grew up with, here's a couple things I've learned...

        The World is Full of Assholes

        Disney works in mysterious ways. Unlike the Disney from thirty years ago, they make things for the now, and not the always. What I mean by that is, Pinnochio is still an amzing movie today, but in thirty years is my generation going to rant to their kids about how much better Disney was when they were making "High School Musical: Ultimate Twerk Edition" or "ToonTown Online"? For the unfimiliar, ToonTown Online was Disney's attempt to cash in on the MMO craze. Guess how it worked out? POORLY. Trolls ran rampant through the vitual streets. Thanks to Disney having NO CLUE how to censor text at that point, trolls were easily able to bypass the censor with a hyphen or two. I learned words there that kids usually learn from vandalized playgrouds. Not only that but they sabatoged most every mission I tried to go on. They even called me a fa-gg-ot! Those meanies!

It's Okay to Like Weird Stuff

        I've never been one to go around flaunting my nerd. In fact, I've actively hid it, at least in school. Maybe because growing up I was exposed so much to the "nerds get beat up and made fun of so don't be one" mentality. I don't know why I ever woried about getting beat up (I'm not exactly scrawny), but the thought of other kids making fun of me terrified me. But now I'm starting to not really care, and I've noticed something. Not caring is amazing. Even if some jerk was going to say something, all it would really boil down to is "Haha, you like something! What a weirdo!" Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not at the point where I really am weird, but I'm not afraid to doodle Mega Man in my notebook or put a Smash Bros. logo on my phone case anymore. The best part is that I've started friendships that I wouldn't have without doing those things. 

I Want to Tell Stories

        It really pisses me off when my friends' parents will dismiss video games as murder simulators. Keep in mind that I live in a stereotypical Christian Illinois town that still fears that their kids will catch the gay, but that's a pretty awful excuse. It pisses me off probably too much. But there's a reason it pisses me off. Video games have taught me what I want to do in life. And that's to tell stories. I've learned how to make a strong lore and world from games like Legend of Zelda and Ico. How to make fun and likeable characters from Professor Layton and Sly Cooper. How to write dialogue from Uncharted and Phoenix Wright. What to absolutely never do for any reason whatsoever from Beyond: Two Souls and Sonic the Hedgehog. It's not like I don't learn anything from books. Trust me, I do, but I learn so much from video games too.

       I've learned that I'm not going to grow out of comic books, or anime, or cartoons, and especially not video games, and I don't want to, because he most important thing video games have done for me doesn't involve them teaching me anything. I'm a different person because of video games. I wouldn't have the same friends, the same room, the same aspirations, or the same life without them. So to William Higinbotham, to Ralph Baer, to Magnavox, to Atari, to Nintendo, to Sega, to Sony, and to Microsoft: Thanks.   read

3:30 PM on 10.20.2013

Dear D-Toid: Another Story

I just got finished reading another c-blog called Dear D-Toid. It was from a long time D-Toid reader, which I am not. I've only been around for about a year, if that. Anyways, this reader is not happy about the current affairs of this site. So I've decided to tell the story of how I got here, and what I think of D-Toid.

First thing first, I'm probably younger than the average D-Toid reader. I didn't grow up with a NES. Or a SNES. Or even an N64. I grew up with a GameCube. As such, I also grew up with gaming journalism beyond magazines. I had the internet. And I also had a site called Joystiq. 

For a while, that was the only gaming site I visited, and it had some pretty awesome original articles, all the writers had personalities, and the community was pretty okay. It was from there I also discovered Go Nintendo. Since I only had a Wii and a DS from their respective launches until much later, I stopped visiting Joystiq. Until I got a PS3. 

When I got a PS3, I realized that I had been missing out on so much. Naturally, I began wanting to here more news about it. When the next big game was launching, when there's a good sale and so on and so forth. So I began visiting Joystiq again. And while some of the personalities left and original articles disappeared, the community was more or less the same until something called Project Cafe leaked out.

While I had (and still am) been having fun with my PS3, I've always been a Nintendo fanboy. That's not a good thing to be on Joystiq. They have a bit of a bias. That's a lie. They have a HUGE bias. When Skyward Sword came out and it was reviewed poorly because they couldn't be bothered to learn the controls, I gave up. It was the last straw. I headed on a long pilgrimage, one that was riddled with name calling, bias, and just plain stupidity. No dysentery, though, so there's that much at least.

For a year I was drifting in and out of sites. GameSpot. IGN. Kotaku. GamesRadar. You name it, I visited it. But I never stayed. None of them felt like the home I have at Go Nintendo, or the one I once had at Joystiq. Then, one day, Go Nintendo hosted a video by some some short and fat guy named Jonathon Holmes. Maybe you've heard of him? 

Destructoid was and IS what I was looking for. Editors with personalities? Yup. Funny original stuff? Yup. A great community? Oh, HELL yes. The writer of the other Dear D-Toid article thought that "And dicks" disappeared. But it didn't. It's like an unspoken creed. Most, if not everyone here, has gotten into a debate about vidjea gamez sometime and somewhere. But here a D-Toid, we'll also make each other laugh about them. "And dicks" is still here in the spirit of D-Toid and in our hearts. That's right. There's a big dick in your heart, but don't be ashamed of it. Let it out. Those big heart penises (penesi?) are why I'm glad to call D-toid my virtual home. 

P.S. Jonathon Holmes is neither short or fat. In fact, Jonathon Holmes may be the sexiest man alive. If there was Jonathon Holmes plushies I would buy twenty.   read

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