This Victory belongs to Wuuuuuuu...

Remember Dynasty Warriors?



I do, vaguely.

The lovingly crafted historical inaccuracies



The camp men



The bad voice-acting in almost every game.



Dynasty Warriors (I'm going to write in the present tense and assume Koei are still pumping these bad boys out like the clappers) focuses on you playing as one of a number of famous historical figures - and some just plain made-up – who had to navigate large maps based on historical battles and smack identical guys in the face with big whacky-things.



It combines two things:

ACTIONY GAMEPLAY

CHINESE HISTORICAL STUFF

...and it does it quite well. They're generally fun games.

The main problem with Koei's game development philosophy is that it simply consists of

A: Make game

B: Sell game

C: Remake Game

D: Sell game

Ad infinitum.

It's not a bad philosophy, and to be honest I really loved the first few sequels (after Dynasty Warriors 2 which was the first 'real' Dynasty Warriors as we know the series today), Dynasty Warriors 3 and 4 were really enjoyable and both had radically different takes on how to approach playing through a story based on incredibly vague historical accounts.

But there comes a point when you've bought 6 near identical games and start to wonder: shouldn't Koei put a little more effort in...?

I want more Dynasty Warriors, no doubt about it, I just would also like more depth - maybe a historical mode? Or characters who atleast try to vaguely dress like they might in the 3rd century China...? Hmmm...?????

Come on Koei, just remake San Goku Shi: Ei Ketsu Den, or even better remake Capcom's Destiny of an Emperor – seriously that shit was hot. Add a bit of variety to your repertoire.





Ahhh, who am I kidding? Everybody knows Dynasty Warriors 12 is going to be almost exactly the same as all the others, but just with an 'anime-ise' feature which makes all the characters eyes go all cute and their dialogue go up an octave or so.



I guess I shouldn't complain too much, if it wasn't for Dynasty Warriors we would never have had classic Engrish lines like:

'This victory belongs to Wuuuuuuuuuuu....'
'Like lambs to the slaughter.'
'So, they have joined.'
'FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

And other such impressive feats of writing.

Oh well, roll on Dynasty Warriors 8: 3rd Century China vs Gundams I guess....