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Oh, me? I'm just some guy, you know?
Alternatively: I'm a 26-year-old student at the University of Memphis, majoring in Japanese, minoring in Weeaboo, with a certificate in being ridiculously nerdy. Inexplicably, everyone I meet in real life seems surprised that I am a nerd at all. I play just about every genre of games out there, with an especial focus on stultifyingly intricate RPGs and soul-shatteringly hard action games. I listen to a vast array of bands that bring me glee when I hear their sounds, and have a slim chance of overjoying me again when I meet someone else who's heard of them. I take and enjoy philosophy courses. I read obscure English poems. As my handle may indicate, I'm obsessed with Voltaire. I watch a whole lot of anime. I'm developing a penchant for beer snobbery. I'm writing short stories whenever I have time. I am prone to bouts of self-criticism and navel-gazing. I am painfully self-aware. I am, in short, nerdiness personified.

I don't hang around IRC much anymore, but I'll keep this ancient cockboard down there as a memorial to some truly rad people I don't see these days.
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Hey lobster milkshakes, the cast of We Legend Now is going to be streaming tonight at 9pm EST (6pm PST) on Streamtoid, but we'll be doing something a little different tonight. For those just joining us, this weekly show is normally six guys (including some really old hands from around Dtoid) playing Legend, a very fun d20 RPG thatís in open beta, on a virtual tabletop for your and our amusement. I say normally because we've got an absence, and are therefore unable to continue our current campaign right now.

Our beloved king3vbo, who plays the endearingly stupid acid-blooded dragon Vasuki, is telling us to fuck off so he can go see Rifftrax Live as they show Manos: The Hands of Fate, and I support him in this decision. We certainly aren't worth skipping extremely funny people talking over the worst movie for, and if I also lived in Portland there just straight-up wouldnít have been a show tonight. If for whatever reason you live in the area and have been agonizing over the decision between seeing this awesome thing, and seeing our terrible thing, then I release you from this conundrum: go. Hell, you can even go and watch our horrific show afterwards in Streamtoid's archives (including the actually good episode 2, which I strongly recommend).

As far as the actual show goes, we can't do our main campaign (even though I really want to, because we just hit level 3), and we don't have any filler content prepped. So, instead we are gathering the might of The Goof Troop, and cheating on Legend with League of Legends. We will probably lose every game and lose horribly, because that is our mutant power, but I can promise you it will be entertaining to watch. So, stop on down at Streamtoid to watch as I kick rich amounts of ass but somehow fuck everything up for everyone (the stream audio included), Ryu89 obsesses over his numbers (it's okay that my KDR is trash because I had the biggest crit, guys!), JohnnyViral goes from wrecking top one game to getting steamrolled the next, Beers tries to work out the differences between this game and DotA2, and Analoge is Bro King of Supports except for how he accidentally all his wards everywhere.

You are free to suggest extremely ill-advised builds and team comps either here or over on the stream, and we will probably be just dumb enough to use them. Actually sane builds or helpful bits of advice will be soundly ignored. Also, late show post is super late.

Hey gang, weíre gonna be streaming We Legend Now Episode 3, live tonight at (EDIT, We gon' be late) 10pm EST/7pm PST on Streamtoid. For those just joining us, this weekly show is six guys (including some really old hands from around Dtoid) playing Legend, a very fun d20 RPG thatís in open beta, on a virtual tabletop for your and our amusement.

Last week, our DM, Ryu89, rebooted our campaign because he didnít like where he started episode 1. This led me to joke that we were probably going to do a cross-over soon as well, which makes me officially prescient. Five minutes later, we were pitted against a blast from the past: the party from some of our crewís old D&D 4th Edition campaign. The acid spitting dragon, the combat advantage-obsessed rogue, some bible beater pally, a wolfmang, and the almighty Finder of Sandwiches, they were all there, and we were fighting over who got to take some chump change jobs off a tavern bulletin board.

We didnít get much more than that fight done, but what a fight it was. The rogue nearly killed our healer, yours truly, right off the bat, then got the living shit debuffed out of him. Seriously, his token was almost completely obscured by markers by the time he dropped. Will, the demon, persuaded enemies of entirely implausible things (like I am a gnome, and also over there), and then shot them in their dumb faces. Johnny failed yet again to find out anythingís true name, but he shot things too so we forgive him. Jeff missed every attack, but did so fabulously, and remembered on the last round that he had a source of damage that didnít need attack rolls. Evan was a real workhorse, got his claws plenty wet, and refused to teach anyone how to dougie. I managed to teleport the enemy dragon into an oven, and saved Jeff by recreating The Creation of Adam (you know, that thing on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel). We closed the encounter out with Evan and Jeff causing themselves to fall unconscious in order to take out the final dude. Evan in particular dug his claws into his own chest in order to spray the enemy with his acid blood (he took 18 damage and dealt 4. Beautiful).

So, this week we need to top that, apparently. Should we disappoint, though, the glory of this session has been preserved forever in the archives.

So, stop on by Streamtoid tonight to watch the spectacular, highly improbable, and frequently ill-advised misadventures of a stupid dragon dervish, a pyromaniac healer, a brain-damaged sniper, a smarmy demon con man, and a douchebag prettyboy angel jedi.

EDIT 2, SON OF EDIT: Sonofabitch, I keep forgetting this part, but if you've got a completely stupid or amazing idea for a character (such as a shark-riding velociraptor), let us know on the stream or here in the comments, and we will tell you how it can be built in Legend. And if it is incredible enough, we may even ask your character to appear as a guest player on an episode of our show.

Hey gang, weíre gonna be streaming We Legend Now Episode 2, live tonight at 9pm EST/6pm PST on Streamtoid. For those just joining us, this weekly show is six guys (including some really old hands from around Dtoid) playing Legend, a very fun d20 RPG thatís in open beta, on a virtual tabletop for your and our amusement.

Weíre a little sore about having started our first session three weeks ago, and due to personnel issues having no show and then a show that didnít involve our usual campaign, setting, characters, or GM (that one didnít turn out as well). So weíre very eager to get back to business as usual with our normal characters tonight.

Stop on by to watch the spectacular, highly improbable, and frequently ill-advised misadventures of a stupid dragon, a pyromaniac healer, a brain-damaged sniper, a smarmy demon con man, and a douchebag prettyboy angel.

Also, in lieu of normal viewer comments, feel free to suggest completely ridiculous and/or stupid characters in the comments, and we will tell you how it is completely possible to build them in Legend.

(See my other posts on the show and Legend in general here)

So, mercifully few people were watching our episode last night, and I say ďmercifullyĒ because I will freely admit that it wasnít up to snuff with our first episode, nor will our subsequent episodes follow this trend. This is largely because we were doing something starkly different, with not as much prep time, and a vastly less experienced DM (me, derp). In short, this session sort of nosedove, but in a very educational way. Players interested in Legend will find this post helpful as you consider things like party makeup and optimization, and GMs may find a lot of the rookie mistakes I made (it being my first time running any content whatsoever) amusing and familiar. I should also note that the specific things that went wrong had very little to do with the Legend system, and more to do with the choices we made while playing.

Also also, if you arenít big on reading, you can just skip ahead to the bulleted list, where Iíll say what lessons should be drawn from this, rather than exhaustively detailing everything that went wrong.

The Scenario: objective-based PvP. Specifically, two rival teams of bounty hunters, chasing a target they must capture. Only one team gets paid. This means the end goal of the encounter is one team standing, one team down, and the bounty down as well.

That is what was supposed to happen, anyway.

What actually happened: I made a pretty basic, elementary error when I designed this session. Namely, that I thought I could predict what my players would do, in any way, shape, or form. When I made the bounty for this encounter, I made a character designed mostly to keep itself alive and run. The NPC was pretty damn hard to hit with attack rolls, had some decent resistance to physical damage, and had good healing, some of which was automatic. The NPC was also a robot priest, named Clergybot. So far, so good.

Imagine my alarm when every last character sheet I got from my players was focused on physical damage and attack rolls. I hadnít expected this when I made Clergybot, but it turned out she was almost custom-engineered to not ever be harmed by these characters. The melee players in particular would need three separate saving throws to even attempt to attack her, and then they had to contend with a fair bit of armor and resistance to their particular damage. Which she would probably heal through without even spending actions to do so.

So, that was my first major failure to predict how my players would behave (specifically, their builds). And although it was probably too late to change anything by the time I found out, I regret not even trying to either make a new target or outright demanding some changes in player builds (strongly-worded hints and suggestions went largely unheeded).

Which leads to my next error. I had persuaded myself that when the players saw how tough Clergybot was, they would realize that it would take the combined efforts of both teams to bring her down. The first player to attempt to attack her was made an example of, so far, so good. But, and it makes sense in hindsight (just like my logic made sense to the players in hindsight), rather than pour everything into trying to burn Clergybot down, they turned to easier targets: each other.

Which might have been alright, since this was supposed to be PvP, but it turns out that they were all really hard targets themselves, with the exception of one player. Thatís correct, every player made their character deal damage in the same way, and every single character in the encounter except for one (the ranger) was particularly resistant to damage being dealt that way. That player then proceeded to get whaled on all night, while his partner (a Chirurgic Poet) burned his HP to keep the ranger alive. In doing so, he boosted his armor even more. Like, to the point where he would never be hit, ever.

So, there we were, with one player staying alive for now but headed for certain doom, his partner who now had very low HP but literally could not be harmed by his opponents, and whose attacks were crappy enough that once he was alone, he would be no real threat to his enemy. And the objective being firmly ignored (although major props to Will, the ranger, who despite getting punished hard in-game and having major distractions IRL, kept his eye on the prize and landed the only significant blow on the target all night). The players were headed toward a stalemate, which is no fun, and one of the players in particular had taken all the heat for the entire encounter, which is especially not fun when youíre not designed for it (Clergybot actually threw a heal his way, out of pity).

Meanwhile, ironically, Clergybot could bring the entire encounter to an end pretty quickly if she wanted to, because she was a spellcaster and could bypass all the huge armor and physical resistances everyone was packing. Thatís right, we had managed to eff up our encounter to the point where the only way it would ever have an ending was a Total Party Kill. But at least that wouldíve been closure. After all, these characters were one-offs, so nothing wouldíve been lost and it wouldíve been a fairly memorable end. And stupidly enough, I hesitated. It wasnít how Iíd planned it. In hindsight, plans are meant to change.

By the time I nutted up and decided to assert my dominance over my foolish players, it was too late to do so. The combat had bogged down, the players were demoralized by the apparent fact that there was no end in sight, and one player in particular took so long with his turns (and this is everything that isnít supposed to happen ever in Legend, and shouldnít have been an issue for his build) that all the flow of the match was lost. We didnít get past my first major nuke against the party before the session was called due to general weariness.

No matter what else went wrong, though, we will always have the wonderful image of a mummy on a flying, pyramid-motif motorcycle (seriously, this character was beyond rad) charging a robotic priest, and as it entered the priestís repelling aura, began to feel nauseous, before doubling over and vomiting up sand, its attack forgotten.

So, what lessons can we draw from this?
For the players:

1. Donít make parties where every character has the same strengths.
1a. Similar to the above, a Sage, Elementalist, or other spellcaster is worth their weight in solid platinum when youíre up against a bunch of armor-stacking assholes.
2. If you are expecting 2v2 PvP, a build designed to do area damage in melee range is way less than ideal.
2a. If the GM says that he thinks your build isnít good for whatís going to be happening in-game, he probably knows what heís talking about.
3. Please, for the sweet love of every possible god, when youíre playing a pen and paper game, no matter what game, read the rulebook before you start playing.
3a. Know your character backwards and forwards before the session begins.
3b. Clear up any questions about rules before the session begins.
4. The fewer questions you have to ask in-game, and the less time your turn takes, the more actual fun you (and everyone else) will have.
4a. Start thinking about your next turn as soon as your turn ends.

For GMs:
1. Accept the fact that you donít have the first clue what your players are going to do.
1a. Plan your sessions accordingly
2. Having surprises ready for your players is one thing. Having a bait-and-switch is another.
2a. If it feels like a bait-and-switch for the players, it doesnít really matter if they could have reasonably expected it, frequently dropped hints or not.
2b. Your clever hints will always be not clever enough or too clever. Be direct when you are giving important information to your players. ĎSubtleí may as well be synonymous with Ďsilentí.
3. If your player shows you their character sheet and you feel that it is bad, say so. Be blunt about it.
3a. If you see the character sheet, and think it looks great, and say so, and then in-game you realize that the playersí armor, damage and attack bonuses are actually really low (whether due to math errors or poor optimization), you have officially given that player bad information. Double-check, pls.
4. If, during preparation, you are starting to get the feeling that your encounter is over-tuned, you may well be right. Make adjustments accordingly.
4a. If you find out that your players are going to get countered mega fucking hard by your encounter, change the encounter or change the party.
5. If you want players to pay attention to a target, donít make that target really hard to hurt. Make the target a threat. This is a lesson I should have remembered from MOBAs. (Ironically, Clergybot had the necessary tools to make people scared, I just didnít use them until it was too late).
6. If itís obvious that the only way the encounter will end within the next millenium is a TPK or divine intervention, make it happen. The sooner youíre out of that encounter, the better, really.

So, thatís that. Not the best experience on earth, but what doesnít kill us or our viewers will make this a stronger show. We look forward to internalizing these lessons deeply, and coming back next week with a hell of a show. Same bat time (Thursdays, 9EST, 6PST), same bat channel (Streamtoid). If youíd like to see what our show looks like when we run it with some modicum of competence, check out Episode 1 in the archives.

So yes, we didnít have a show last week. I know, I noticed. The bad news is that the same personnel problems that led to last week being cancelled are present this week, which means Ryu canít run his usual campaign. The good news, however, is that there will still be a show tonight, 6pm PST/9pm EST over on Streamtoid.

Specifically, I am taking the reigns to run some PvP (still using the Legend system) with some mid-level characters. Our usual cast is here, with the unfortunate absence of one king3vbo, and theyíve rolled up some, er, interesting characters for your viewing pleasure. They will square off in 2v2 combat in a scenario and setting of my design, and I plan to make them suffer.

So stop on by, watch us battle it out in a great little d20 RPG system, on a great virtual tabletop client, while we swear, draw obscene pictures on the pretty maps, mock each othersí builds, and discuss our unhealthy interest in Charles Barkley.

My previous blogs about We Legend Now:
Review and show announcement
Episode 1 Recap

P.S.: I guess usually when I'm on a stream/podcast we'd solicit your stupid questions, but in this case I will ask that you propose the most ridiculous RPG characters you can imagine, and we will tell you how to build them in Legend. If your idea is particularly rad, we may use it the next time we do PvP. Tell me about how much you want to see a Raptor Demoman in the comments, please.

1:00 PM on 07.13.2012

So, the inaugural episode of We Legend Now, in which we play the Legend d20 system while doing offensively stupid things on Streamtoid, went off fairly well. Certainly better than I expected our crew of gallivanting jackasses to manage. If you were for some inexplicable reason one of the few (like, the entire human population less 20-30 people) poor fools that didnít tune in, you missed the following misadventures of our party.

Dramatis Personae:
Vasuki, fallen cursed remnant of an ancient dragon, also a dervish, played by King3vbo
Vidya, the other remnant of said dragon, caster, healer, pyromaniac, played by yours truly
Verchiel, arrogant, insufferable prettyboy angel, played by Analoge
Staude Haragos, unhinged sniper whose guns talk to him, played by JohnnyViral
Wespyr, smarmy demon con man, mechanic, played by the absolutely top fucking percentage Will Beers
And the dickass GM himself, Ryu89

Events of note:
-Introductions out of the way, welcome to the show
-We are somehow already at a combat encounter, despite nobody having any idea how we know each other. In Media Res!
-Haha oh wow, Beers' frigging token. Seriously, look at it (I made it the header).
-No seriously, who are all these people weíre supposed to be allied with?
-Oh fuck, skeletons!
-Whatís the proper term for a group of skeletons, anyway?
-A pursuance, is general consensus.
-Who cares, fucking hit them already.
-Vidya is half dead. The first round is not yet over.
-Seriously, you asshole, stop using good tactics and focus-firing the healer.
-Wespyr has a fucking obscene Bluff modifier. Skeletons are persuaded of completely implausible things, and then shot.
-The skeleton king rolls up, gets set on fire, shot in the face, and gusted.
-Vidya is brought to exactly 0 hp. Itís okay, Iím a healer.
-The skeleton king hits Vasuki, and promptly dies to Vasuki bleeding on him.
-Moral: the wages of sin are acid blood.
-Skeleton King: he showed up, looked vaguely ominous, waved his hands to make shadows with no immediately obvious effect, and then died the first time he hurt anyone.
-Oh hey guys, it turns out the proper term is a drudge. A drudge of skeletons.
-Stupid skeleton archers get the living shit shot out of them, dragons are intimidating.
-We spend five minutes trying to figure out if there is an Attack of Opportunity (there was not).
-We win, loot the shit out of everything, get no loot.
-Vidya finally locates the blood she was promised (it was in the thick of slaughter the whole time).


-So we swamp now. Halflings live here, apparently?
-Vasuki attempts to steal back the quest turn-in after we get paid, gets caught.
-Something something, Verchiel thinks the quest-giver is a grubby little asshole and the whole thing is beneath him.
-Vidya pays zero attention.
-Beers brings the location-appropriate vidja gaem music with a fierceness.
-Staude wants to know if this is Kokomo. No, wait, his gun does.
-Halfling thugs jump us on the docks. Apparently some of them are called Shockers, as well?
-Consensus is that if they manage to get two in the pink and one in the stink, it will inflict [Dazed] or [Nauseated].
-Vidya is dropped to exactly 0hp again. This will be a theme, probably.
-Verchiel stabs Vidya with a dagger of pure fire. This makes Vidya feel much better.
-No, seriously.
-Halflings are generally set on fire, knocked around, shot and beat up. They donít do a lot of damage to non-Vidya people, because Wespyr has an energy shield.
-Vidya drops to 1hp. Everyone is racist against fire elementals.
-She sets someone on fire and gets very far away.
-Boom, last halfling down, encounter over.
-Party dings level 2, so long folks

-Johnny checks the recording this morning and realizes that nobody watching the stream could hear Evan talking all night. Whoops.

Sooo, yeah, apparently when Evan (who was streaming) was fucking with audio settings at the beginning of the stream to make the rest of us not sound like we were speaking through tin cans in a cave, he somehow managed to turn himself off. This is going to be fixed next week, so you can hear his dulcet tones and the funny things he will probably say, unless he accidentally leaves his actual mic muted anyway. It will be especially fixed if we can get someone with actual chops with these programs to teach him their ways.

Catch us on Streamtoid again next Thursday, 6pm PST/9pm EST for more insane hijinks, and see all the new tricks we get now that weíre level two! Expect allies to get buffed, and punk bitches to get dazzled, cleaved, smote, and headshotted. Allies may also get set on fire, for laffs.