I love playing FPS games online they can be an absolute blast if you find a good group to play with. Problem is I have a disease that precludes me from become part of a good group. I’ve had this dreaded affliction since MOHAA and my gaming life has never been the same since. My malady is known as Ilovesnipingdumbasses or in layman’s terms I prefer to play as a sniper. No matter what I do I can’t seem to make people understand its not my fault that I get such glee from blowing peoples heads apart at long distances, I’m just wired that way.


Problem is most of my fellow gamers really hate snipers. They hate it almost as much as the dreaded shotgun and it makes my life miserable. Typically I can last a night maybe two on most servers before I am asked to leave and the fucked up part is I don’t spawn camp. Right there is part of the reason people like me have gotten such a horrid rep, some jack off just has to get that .50 cal and sit looking right down on the enemies spawn point. Now even I have to admit if I could only get 2 maybe 3 steps before getting fragged it would piss me off too.


Thing is I don’t play like that and I prefer my prey to be unaware and paying attention to something else. My tactic is to find an out of the way corner where I can view the path between teams spawns. That way my target gets complacent after having made it quite a ways from his base and only then will I make his melon into a canoe. I had people so frustrated one night in Desert Combat that I had 4 tanks and a chopper surrounding the building I was using. I mean come now fucking tanks and choppers just for one poor little sniper? Christ I really must have made them mad. Best part was I made a mad dash out the door and managed to give the fucking tank goons the slip.


As always happens that's when the whining started on vent. Ban that fucker he’s cheating or quit being a sniper you dick. I less than politely told them either they needed to get better at beating me or just mod the damn sniper guns off the server. Sadly they didn’t do either, the next night when I showed up one of the servers owner politely asked me to leave or he was going to ban me. I understood his dilemma, as I had slaughtered two of his spray and pray golden boys repeatedly the night before. So once again like a desert Bedouin I searched for a new home.

Actually that was just before I cut back on gaming and I haven’t played a FPS online since. My love of sniping had nothing to do with that, life just got in the way for a while and I haven’t felt like dealing with it lately. Thing is I will be getting a 360 soon and then I will return and sniping once more. For those who hate people like me I would like you to remember two things. First, the guns are in the games so I’m going to use them until enough whining takes place to get them removed. Second, would you kindly stick your head out a wee bit more, thanks that will do nicely.