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German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.

I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.

Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)
033: Various Games #6
034: Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty
035: Blacks and women

Stuff I also wrote and you should read:

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...

... und Pan spielt die Flöte.
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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about Various Games #6.

You might remember that I once mentioned that Doom 64 got censored in Japan? The same censorship befell another id FPS on the N64 - Hexen aka Beyond Heretic.  As with Doom the censorship here for the japanese market was very simple: red blood was colored green, everything else was kept the same. Everywhere else in the word this game is uncensored.

Another classic most people wouldn't think of when you mention censorship is Ice Climbers. In this case you can get the uncensored version just in Japan (I actually don't know if the Virtual Console versions are censored too or maybe even censored worldwide). An enemy was exchanged. In the original version you weren't clobbering Yetis but seals. This was changed most likely due to the association with seal clubbing.

Then there was Robocop for the Playstation 2. And yes, it was as shitty as it looks on the screenshot. The censorship in this case was for the german version, rated 16+, only. It was, again, about blood. To cut it short: blood was removed. That's all, next.

Going back a bit further in time again we arrive at a game called Space Invasion. You have most likely never heard of this game, right? That's because you know it under another name: Commando. The scrolling shooter got somewhat famous as a classic and has a simple premise. You are a soldier and you shoot other soldiers. But as we all know: shooting humans was a no-go back in the day in Germany. So we renamed it "Space Invasion" and changed the soldiers to robots. Both on the cover and in the game. Even the transporters were changed to look more futuristic.

Last but not least: do you remember the RPG Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines? If not, you should be ashamed of yourself and fix that mistake. This great title, rated 16+ over here, got censored in one teensy bit. Someone gets decapitated in the intro... but not in the german version. When it's chopping time it just jumps to the next scene.

That was it for today. See you next time.
I'll also start streaming some shit for Streamtoid soon. Don't know what, really, but when you're free on a wednesday noon (1pm Chicago time) feel free to tune in.
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It's THAT time of the year again. OpiumHerz has looked at some stuff he has and then decided to give it away.

[u]How it works:[/u]
- you name the game you want
- you get the game you want

- you can give me something in return. I take pretty literally ANYTHING. A dollar Steam credit? Steam collector's cards? Another game? A slap on my dick (PhilKenSebben only)? You decide! Decide what the game you want is worth to you. Rip me off if you want, you'll each get a key. Depending on the timeframe you ask for it maybe even more than one. Try your luck.

I have to say ONE THING first however: somehow the sites I have the keys stored on (Humble Bundle etc.) are fucked up. For some keys I simply don't know if I gave them away already or not. Links I gifted to people for example don't show that the game has been redeemed so I don't know if that gift has been claimed, if I never gave it away or whatever. Just putting this out here because you should know there might be games in the list that aren't available anymore, but of course I can't check that!
Games that are confirmed taken will be marked red!

On to the list.

- Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
- Antichamber
- Beatbuddy: Tale of the guardians
- Beatbuddy: Tale of the guardians
- Bioshock
- Bioshock 2
- Bioshock Infinite
- BlackSoul: Extended Edition
- Broken Sword 2
- EvilQuest
- Deadly Sin 2
- Gemini Rue
- Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams
- Guacamelee! (Gold Edition)
- Gun Monkeys
- Imagine Me
- Jolly Rover
- Kingdom Rush
- Knights Of Pen & Paper (+1 Edition)
- Last Dream
- Legionwood 2: Rise of the Eternal's Realm
- Mafia II
- Master Reboot
- Nightsky
- Organic Panic
- Peggle Deluxe + Bejeweled 3 + Bookworm Deluxe + Escape Rosecliff Island + Feeding Frenzy 2 Deluxe
- Psychonauts
- RPG Maker XP
- Ravensword: Shadowlands
- Rochard
- Savant: Ascend
- Shadows: Price for our sins (Bonus Edition)
- Skyborn
- Soulbringer
- Spec Ops: The Line
- Starseed Pilgrim
- Starseed Pilgrim
- Sweet Lily Dreams
- Sword of the stars: The Pit (Gold Edition)
- Syder Arcade
- Tales From The Deragon Mountain
- The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
- The Shivah
- The Swapper
- To the moon
- Ultratron
- Viscera Cleanup Detail: santa's Rampage
- X-COM: Apocalypse
- X-COM: Enforcer
- X-COM: Enemy Unknown
- X-COM: Interceptor
- X-COM: Terror from the deep
- X-COM: UFO Defense
- Zeno Clash

- Cafe 0 - The Drowned Mermaid DELUXE
- Home Sheep Home 2
- Jazz, Trump's Journey
- Jibs Arcade
- Master Reboot
- Samphi
- ThreadSpace: Hyperbol

- Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising
- Dead Space 1
- Peggle Deluxe + Bejeweled 3 + Bookworm Deluxe + Escape Rosecliff Island + Feeding Frenzy 2 Deluxe
- Plants vs Zombies (GOTY) + Peggle Nights + Zuma's Revenge
- Populus

And remember: when you comment, you get a game. If you want one or not. Don't be a bitch about right (got it, Dixon?).
And now have fun.

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10:08 AM on 07.14.2014

Also: Adventure Time.

1. I love Kane & Lynch... both parts!

How do you solve ANY problem? Bullet to the face.

I said this before already, but I really do like those games. Don't get me wrong, they're not exceptionally great. They don't bring anything new to the table (albeit the MP for part 2 was really fucking neato in theory). But I just love them. I like Kane and Lynch as protagonists (sadly they dialed Lynch down for part 2) and I like the world they apparently live in. A world without any form of remorse or compassion where you live by the gun and die by the gun. It's dark, it's gritty, it's dirty and it's brutal. And I love it for that.
I also especially like the "raw" art style part 2 introduced, even though apparently everybody else hated it to death. I really like the cheap handycam optics. Yeah, alright, what should be a grand finale was a sad little whimper, but the game was still pretty decent. At least it did nothing wrong. And only fucking casuals cry about getting hit sometimes while being in cover. Boohoo, go home CoD boyz!

2. Call Of Duty - SINGLEPLAYER (dam dam daaam)

Oh Ghost. Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Well... at least the Modern Warfare trilogy. Now I know that this thing sold like sliced bread and was high regarded in some ways. But I just really played CoD only for the campaign. And I liked them. MW3 was a bit weak, but part 1 and 2 were really good games. The stories were at least pretty decent, I always like to call it the poor man's Tom Clancy. Makarov was a hell of charismatic evil guy and sadly completely underused but the Hans Zimmer soundtrack in part 2 goes especially well with some scenes you see.
I actually don't really know anybody else who liked or even played the CoD campaigns, but I just don't give a fuck about the MP in there. Most of all MW2 was just put so damn well together it's pure fucking magic. They way everything is staged, like perfect little cogs that work together, is just amazing. Yeah, it's scripted. Yeah, it's linear. But is still absolutely masterful. Being on a small roof, holding out against troops that just keep coming while a whole orchestra is putting pressure on your ears still gives me the chills, especially when you seem to fail the mission and your colleague yells "Rocket in the air! Code Black! CODE BLACK!" into the microphone. As with K&L the finale is a bit weak, but fuck it. Greatest single player campaigns for an ego shooter I had in a long time.

3. The german language

That pretty much sums it up.

Nobody likes the german language except a few retards and I'm one of them. Either it's too complicated (it is) or it just sounds strange (it does) or both. Really, the german language is like a five course menu of the finest meals. It's just not for everybody and it's heavy, but you'll have a good shit afterwards.
Wait, what was I talking about again?

4. Poop

Know your shit!

Shit is my one and only nonsexual fetish. That's all.

5. Zombies

The world is against me. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

Okay, granted, the market has been a bit oversaturated. But really, I'm not sick of the zombie theme itself. There have been so very few good games with that setting and just a million one that are either just shit or some puzzle game which has zombie sprites in it for the lulz. But "real" zombie games like Left 4 Dead (2) or Dead Island are far and few between.

6. Dead Island


Yeah, the game has it's weaknesses. But really, I like it for some reason. I said it in another blog before, but Dead Island is most likely the closest thing I'll ever get to my dream game. I like the mixtures of the dangers here, because you fight both zombies and humans I find it interesting that the game is not only melee focused, but that guns are also somewhat inferior against the undead. Overall I just enjoyed the game.

7. the DToid forums

I really don't know where the reputation the place has comes from. Maybe it changed so much in the past? But really, the forums are a great place. Yes, the general tone is a bit rougher. But when you can deal with that it's a great place to kick back and talk about games. The great thing is however that you also can have serious discussions. The best proof for this is whenever someone from the FP staff shows their mug down there. The thread they post in, usually the Community Discourse thread, switches into serious mode INSTANTLY. If you really think it's just a bunch of shittalkers you're plain and simple wrong and were maybe never loved by your parents.

8. Vanilla Coke

Shut up Tubby, I know this shit is bad for mah gainz!

It's the best Coke on the whole damn world.

9. "Artsy" games

Fart games. He... hehe... get it?

Dear Esther, Dinner Date, Gone Home... I enjoyed all of these games. And yes, they are games. If you say otherwise you're wrong and for some reason so damn bitter that you should be swallowed with a shot of Tequila.
But really, next to games full of action I also enjoy games that are more focused on telling a (short) story and have less interaction. Those games usually do things no other medium could effectively do. Imagine a movie or a book about something raffling through his house and discovering his sister became a lesbian and ran away from home. Say what you want, it would never be as good an experience as when YOU are the one who can raffle through the house and discover all the little pieces yourself, in your own pace. Last but not least: I consider games like this just the final piece of evidence that games are art. And not all art has to be same. Diversity is what makes art so great and I can't stop wishing for more diversity in this regard.

10. Andy Dixon

I know that this is you, Dixon. Don't even deny it.

Just kidding. Nobody hates Andy Dixon.
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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about Resident Evil (spin offs).

Soooo, right on to the spin offs of the Resident Evil series! We start off with the handheld titles.
Resident Evil Gaiden - the one basically no one remembers anyway. When I first saw this thing I thought it was a fanmade bootleg game. The gameboy color game has no known censored version.

Then there is Resident Evil Deadly Silence, which is the DS port of the first game. The german version of this one is censored like the PS1 original, see the earlier entry for reference. So basically: intro censored, Chris doesn't smoke, not severed head. Thiese censorships were confirmed to be in the UK, US and japanese version too.

And then there was Resident Evil Mercenaries 3D which was censored in a hilarious way. The violence is completely uncensored. Now you might remember an old "Various Games" episode I did where they changed the name of a character from "Jude" to "Jyde", because Jude is the german word for jew. It's pretty much the same thing here. Mercenaries 3D is practically only RE's reknown Mercenaries mode and thus get a rating for every level. The highest rating you can get isn't S but SS here - SS also stands for the Schutzstaffel, a division of the Third Reich. So it was changed a little bit. Ridicoulus and very certainly unnecessary, but oh well.

The real kicker though? They wrote "100% uncut" on the frontcover of the german version. Talk about splitting hairs here, but that's still pretty bold and kinda false advertising.

On we move to Resident Evil Code: Veronica. There is no censored version of this game. However there is an extended one. This one, the version you get these days pretty much everywhere, is called Code: Veronica X. The only consistent change here was that Steve's haircut was completely redone. Besides that the intro was redone and some cutscenes were simply extended. There were no changes to the gameplay or anything. It's pretty much akin to a movie that get's a director's cut where alternative shots and scenes were used.

Resident Evil Outbreak (rated 18+ in Germany) and Resident Evil Outbreak File 2 (rated 16+ in Germany) were completely uncensored.
Resident Evil Revelations was rated 18+ and uncensored too, both on the 3DS and the HD version.
Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles didn't even release at all in Germany but was indexed nonetheless. Although there is a rumor that the PS3 download version is censored when you have the console language switched to german. Apparently you can't shoot off heads then anymore. However, as I said, this is unconfirmed and just a rumor. It wouldn't make much sense. The so-to-say sequel Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles was officially released in Germany and rated 18+.
The Gun Survivor games, when released over here, were also never censored.

And last but not least there is Resident Evil Operation Racoon City. This one got hit by the censorship bus in Germany and every other version was indexed. There are basically only three things censored in this: the amount of blood was lessened (not that lessened, NOT removed!), splatter effects (i.e. removing limbs) were removed as were decorative corpses. And that's it.

It's hard to believe that these things were enough to get the game indexed, but it also demonstrates how random the USK can be at times.

And this concludes the Resident Evil entries. Granted, this one was a bit shorter because the spin offs, although stronger in regards of how many games there are, were simply not censored so much. Let's ee where we'll head next time.
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When I bought Goat Simulator, right on the release date, I did for the joke and for standing by my word. You see, I was one of those people that said "This game HAS to be made" and I don't like people who write checks with their mouths that their asses can't cash in. So I bought it it for the full price. And you know what? Before I realized it I had more fun than I had maybe since Assassin's Creed 4 (because pirates) with any other game this year.

Bow down, peasants!

I can see why people see this thing as a joke. I mean, the name alone... come on. But when you actually give it a chance you find a decent game in this. Don't get me wrong: there is no story whatsoever. It doesn't have "setpieces" or a high budget. It doesn't have a top notch look and is glitchy as hell (for those who don't know: the dev said every bug that isn't gamecrashing will be left in because it's more fun).
It was meant to parody. The madness going on with all the simulator games. The madness going on in the triple-A business. And it worked! Seeing it as a parody of those things it's pretty great too. Especially because it offers real fun. Let me explain the game real quick.

Skulls for the skull throne!

You have a map. On said maps are NPCs, certain things like a Stonehenge, a Goat Tower (based on a real tower - google it!) or a car driving in circles forever. And there are multiple ways you can interact with things. Ram them, jump on them or lick them basically. But wait, there is more! Your Goat can be "upgraded". I don't want to spoil anything, but you can become for example a Satan-Goat that gets mysterious powers. You can be a Muscle Goat whose ram attack is far stronger. Or you can become the Queen Of Goats, which allows you to drop infinite goat corpses. Don't worry, they were peasants anyway.

... so I became a god.

Now where is the fun? Well, first off it's the interaction itself. You get something like little "Achievements" ingame which are often jokes. If you blow up the gas station, for example, you get "Michael Bay!". Some are better than others but it's also of course a matter of taste. There are of course interactions that are meant to happen, like licking some dude and then dragging him onto a running tread mill, so he gets crashed into a car (because you stick to things you licked because that's how goats work).
But then there are the unplanned interactions. For example licking things that leave the map for some time and don't let go. Let's just say it leads to... interesting results. And there are tons of stuff like this. If use some powers while being in the air for example the goat just starts going absolutely apeshit.

I got the feeling those aren't my real parents.

Goat Simulator is like one of those games you had about twenty years back. You are thrown into a world unknown to you. You have your character and get to interact with the world. Granted, Goat Simulator doesn't tell any story. But the feeling of exploration and discovery is just like back then! Literally. For the longest time I wasn't just amazed by what I found in a game. And here I sit, playing a Goat that drags it's asshole over the pavement when I active the running (and looking VERY happy while doing it) and trying to figure out how I can reach that one collectible golden Goat statue that is up there on top of the electrical tower.
Another thing that spices things up is combining goats. That's right, you can combine ANY goat powers you find. You can become, taken the examples from before, a muscular Satan-Goat. The powers stack and it leaves room for some VERY freaky combos.

One thing I did that really felt like back in the day was discovering what I call the "Negative Zone"

Welcome to the Negative Zone!

This is the room below the map. I just called it "Negative Zone" for fun and not really thinking about it - but it reminded me of the games of my childhood too. I think we all had those moments where we saw a glitch happening and giving that thing happening a name. Like for the example the never ending world in Mario Bros. on the NES. You can access this part of the map of course not normally, but only through one little hatch that's outside of the normal map (but you can still reach said part through the means the game gives you) or by using a certain special power while licking a certain thing on the map - no, I won't spoil it.That was finally the moment where I thought: "That's it! This might really become my game of the year!". I was just taken back by a game that had neither a budget nor a story or anything fancy in. But the thing it has in it is fun. Barrels of fucking fun!

Something wicked this way comes.

So I really want to urge you: if you don't have it already, buy it! Try to see past the joke, get in a bit of a childish mood again and just marvel at this piece of shit. Because between all the serious games it's a ray of light. Even if you really can't find it in your heart to like it (WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG, ROBOT?!) you've only spent a few bucks and to a dev that is neither Ubisoft or Activision or EA or Blizzard (and you know, I have seen worse gameplay, less content and worse audio/graphics in full priced games). But for god's sake at least try to become a child for a few hours again and enjoy head butting people named Bolle. So far I played ten hours with Goat Simulator and they patched in a second map now I haven't almost explored at all yet - for free, by the way (there are also modding tools in the game which allow you to create complete maps on your own, if you really want to get into the Unreal Engine editor). So here's hoping more good maps will pop up.
But if I can give you one piece of advice is: buy it, play it, savor it. And remember to baa! 

[i]So then, one day, I met their god. He looked tired and dissipated. Spit was running out of the corner of his mouth and he wasn't able to articulate his mazy thoughts clearly.
And I spoke to him: "Lord, I have sinned! I took the prettiest flower from your garden and ripped it's head off." And he answered, albeit just unclear: "Obliterate me."[/i]
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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about Resident Evil (main series)
But first off: the Wolfenstein entry was updated! Look at the end for infos about Wolfenstein: The New Order!

Resident Evil had a hard time in Germany. Being the most horryfing and a very gory game back in the day of course our youth protectors didn't like it too much. While the original Resident Evil was released censored first we got an uncensored PC version and the Director's Cut for Playstation 1 later on.
First off the intro got censored. It had a black and white filter and multiple gory scenes were simply removed (the dogs getting hit, Joseph dying, the look at Joseph's corpse...). Also we got an alternative shot of Chris Redfield when the characters are introduced - he doesn't light a cigarette in the german version. Him lighting a cigarette was also removed in the ending scene with him.

The only real ingame censorship was about one second of a render sequence. When you meet the first zombie it's eating a corpse and drops a head. The shot of the head was removed. The rest of the ingame gore was completely there.
The Gamecube remake of the original one was uncensored and rated 18+.

Resident Evil 2 was released uncut directly. However it got indexed in April of 1998. Every german release after that one was censored (the Gamecube version is multilingual and uncensored as long as you don't play it in german).
In the censored versions the zombies bleed grey instead of red and when they're dead the puddle of blood on the floor is green.
The only other censorship is the sequence when you die. Instead of seeing how you get eaten by zombies the screen turns from white to black and then the "You died" writing appears.

Then Resident Evil 3: Nemesis was released. This was the first one with a 16+ rating, part 1 and 2 being rated 18+ even in their censored version. The censorship was quite heavy here.
First off the zombies bleed grey again. When they're dead the corpses flicker for a moment and disappear then. Splatter effects like shooting limbs off were completely removed, you also can't kick their heads off anymore when they're on the ground.

Really bad, however, was it with the "Mercenaries" mode. For those that don't know, that is kind of a time trial mode. You have a timer ticking down and you get bonus seconds when you kill enemies. However this reward for killing was removed. So you don't have any way of getting addtional time in the censored version which makes this bonus game practically unwinable. You only get time bonus for killing animal enemies which just isn't enough for a good rating and you need a good rating for getting all the weapons and items.

Resident Evil 4 set the bar again when it came to gore and of course we just couldn't have that. To everyone's surprise however the gore was completely untouched. That's right. The headshots, the splatter, the woman with the pitchfork in their head - it was ALL there.
But there were bonus games again. Resident Evil 4 had again a version of the "Mercenaries" mode from Resident Evil 3 and a little bonus story mode called "Assignment Ada". Those were completely removed... and this was most likely Capcom's own fault. Apparently they gave a version of the game to the ratings board that didn't contain those bonus games. So when they released the game WITH those games it was technically a different version and had to be pulled from shelves again. So there is a little first run for the Gamecube that is completly uncensored.

But then there is also the japanese version. And if you think the land of the rising sun doesn't censor it's own games you are dead wrong. And yes, Resident Evil 4 got censored in Japan. While the japanese ratings board had no problem with the bonus content some of the gore got removed.
If you headshot an emey the head doesn't explode in the japanese version, while it splatters into pieces sometimes in the uncensored one. This censorship also goes for the enemies that have a grown Plagas coming out of their head. The parasite doesn't exploed anymore when hit, but instead just "bleeds away" (so to say) in the japanese version. And then there is the famous Dr. Salvador (which I think isn't a real doctor) who cures all of Leon's problems with a chansaw to the neck. In the japanese version his head stays where it is, while it normally rolls of his shoulders. Also: Ahsley's tits don't wobble arround when she is running. Which is a somewhat strange censorship for Japan.

Resident Evil 6's censorship is laughable. Everything is in there but you have to complete all campaigns to unlock the "Mercenaries" mode. I still think that is somewhat of a bug or a glitch, but still worht mentioning. Aside from that everything is in there.

Resident Evil Zero and Resident Evil 5 were released uncensored.

Next time we'll look at the spin offs.
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