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German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.

I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.

Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)
033: Various Games #6
034: Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty
035: Blacks and women
036: Pokemon
037: Left 4 Dead
038: Left 4 Dead 2
039: 2015 Predictions

Stuff I also wrote and you should read:

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...
~ Gravelord Nito, I love you more than Vanilla Coke
~ Let's clear up the console wars, shall we?

... und Pan spielt die Flöte.
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5:40 AM on 01.24.2015

No drama. No bullshit. Just games.

Since the censorship topic has run a bit dry over the course of almost two years (you can only make so many articles about that topic and keep it interesting, but don't worry, more are on the way) and I wanted to write a bit more again, why not write about something fun? Games! I want to focus on games I feel went a bit under and I'm not talking about these "secret tips EVERYBODY knows". OMG, have you played this underdog game ICO? Have you, motherfucker, HAVE YOU PLAYED ICO? I'm sure over the course I'll cover something that's borderline to that field too, but I'll try to stay a bit away from it. I might also go beyond just introducing games, but they will be the sole focus. This is just about games. So what I wrote in the beginning is kinda the creed: no drama. No bullshit. Just some goddamn, motherfucking, cocksucking, cumgargling, asslicking, dick cheese producing, pig impregnating, FUCKING DAMN GAMES!

So, .hack//G.U., right?

My first contact with the .hack// series was in form of the anime .hack//SIGN. The universe has multiple entries, but they all revolve around an MMO in the not too distant future called The World. SIGN also produced a four part videogame series on the Playstation 2, which I got solely for the sake of having. An anime related game series, in Germany? I want to support that!
But what I found was a bit lackluster. The game was so grindy it was brutal. The graphics weren't too pretty either. The dungeons were absolutely repetitive. It was just not a very well put together dungeon crawler. Yet, I pushed myself into part 3 before giving up. I saw a game that was good in it's core, just not too refined. The fact that it was released over here years after it came out in Japan didn't help either. Time is no fair enemy.

And then I saw THIS fucking trailer (sorry, the quality of videos in 2005 was another one - there exists also a subtitled version of this trailer somewhere). And ho... ly... shit! I was pretty much instantly flashed. Instantly this thing was on my map. .hack//G.U. was a three part series playing version 2 of The World, after the events of the first games, with a new cast and setting (a nice bonus of the MMO setting - you can completely revamp the world in every aspect and blame it on "new version").

The plot follows Haseo, a famous PlayerKillerKiller called "The Terror of Death". As the name suggests he hunts PlayerKillers, so players who kill other players ingame. The game of The World offers basically absolute freedom in regards of movement etc. and isn't restricted like any real MMO (at the moment). Then however his dear friend Shino gets killed by a guy named Tri-Edge, who looks very familiar if you know the SIGN series or played the first set of games, which made her real life player fall into a coma.
From there on Haseo seeks to fix this and of course revenge. And of course stuff isn't that simple. Because it never is. There are functions and skills and bugs in the game that can harm the real player. A company that tries to cover everything in that regard up. And of course Haseo has more on his hands than he initially thought. But to reach his goal the absolute loner is forced to cooperate with many fractions.

The basic gameplay is the same as the first series, but it was expanded on a lot. It's still a quite typical JRPG with an action fight system. You have a party of maximum 3 people, multiple people you can invite in your party. You take quests, you level up, you do stuff on the side if you want, and you advance the plot through events either in the cities or the dungeons.
Dungeons are created by a combination of three words. New words can be acquired by finishing other dungeons (you get rated in the end and are rewarded with an item depending on your rating - which can be a new dungeon word) or you find them in the forums. Yes, there are forums! The whole game takes place inside the game, you never see the outside world or control the player outside of The World. But you do go to the desktop many times. There you can read mail (which is often needed to start the next part of the plot), look at news from the outside world and watch a mysterious, apparently game induced disease named "Doll Syndrome" spread through articles and videos or read the forums. The news websites you can read are nice to have, the articles are often accompanied by short animated clips and there even is a series where a journalist tries to uncover the truth about doll syndromes, which is told through multiple episodes, each a few minutes long. The forums get new posts in regular intervals too. Most of the time it's just reading which you will either love for the fluff or hate because, well, it's just text. You also get to interact/answer to forum posts sometimes and can get something out of it (new stage words, more flavor text, increase sympathy with party members) or you can download pictures you can use as your desktop background in the arts forum. Most of it is mindless banter, but I found it kinda cool. Especially when you then see these users run around in the game, because you recognize their handle. It can however be a bit dry at times too, seeing as it's plain text without anything else.

The fight system is, as already mentioned not turn based. When you get close to an enemy/group of enemies (three at maximum) the battle starts. Beat all the enemies, earn XP/gold/items. Par for the course. You can use weapons, magic (if you learn the spells - since Haseo isn't a magic class you have to teach him spells through respective items, while magic class users will learn spells through leveling up too) or items to kill your enemies. The variety for Haseo comes from the fact that he is what the game calls Adept Rogue, bascially a multiclass. He starts out with two short swords, but his class gets expansions over the course of all three games. After a few hours you get to use a Broadsword already. Even though I found the dual wielding to be the most efficient way to fight, it's nice to be given variety so you can play different fighting styles if you want to.

Sidequests usually involve reaching a certain number of things (guess some shackles of the MMO can't be thrown off in the future either) or present you with a dungeon you have to conquer, sometimes even delivering a little plot while doing so. For example one quest you get is handing out flyers to players. You hand them out by talking to them. So you will stop and talk to every NPC you find along your way. Another one is kicking a certain amount of so called Lucky Animals. You can find them in dungeons and have to chase them to kick them. If you manage to do so, they'll give you a blessing. Temporary state bonuses, money, you might be revived after dying while you are in that dungeon. Beware though, there are also UNLUCKY Animals. Don't kick them. Just don't. Then there is also a Card Game which gets activated throughout the game (it's down for maintenance in the beginning) which you can sink hours in, if you want to be the very best.

So there is enough to do on the side for completionists and you can advance the plot at a reasonable pace. Here and there you have to grind a bit, but it doesn't force you into hours of what feels like slave labor (one of the biggest downsides of the first series of games). Not everything that glitters is gold though. The first thing I missed personally was a way to activate japanese voice acting. The english voices are a bit dodgy here and there, but they get the job done. Dungeons are still a bit repetitive, since you only have a few design sets (Cave, Temple, Field etc.) which the dungeons are created from. Expect to see the same assets a lot. And while I like the plot per se, sometimes I found the characters to act completely illogical. That the plot is a fix thing also somewhat ruins certain moments. You can train to level 99 and completely WRECK your enemy in a tournament - it will still trigger a cut scene where you then get your ass handed to you and "plot thing X" happens. It would have been nice to create at least two versions of the cutscene where things like these would have been accounted for. My biggest gripe however is that the plot goes too far. I won't spoil anything but you reach a part in the last game where you beat a boss and it would have been a pretty perfect spot to end the game - but it goes on. There is an additional evil pulled out of it's arse you have to fight then and it's not just an additional bossfight, there is literally more story happening. I didn't like that as I found said point to be a perfect spot to bring it to an end and I still don't like it. Another thing where the story can somewhat interfere is that your party members have to available for you to invite them to your party. They can be either offline or busy and will stay in that status until you advanced the plot a notch. So there I was, in a spot where I wanted to level my healer and support, and my healer was unavailable. I wanted to level her though for the upcoming fight, which was necessary by story. The plot dictates that she comes late to that fight, so I couldn't level her right before it anymore. ... you see the problem there? Granted, you get a pretty good choice of characters over the course of the games and you usually always have someone available, but it can be annoying if you're forced to work with characters you don't like. The cities are also a bit... well. City #2 you unlock pretty quickly, for example, basically just consists of an item shop, a Savepoint and the entrance to the fight arena. Nothing I would really call a city.
Still, .hack//G.U. aged well enough. The graphics don't look too shabby and it proves that good design is timeless. And if you play this game on an emulator you can crank up the resolution and the models will look just crisp as fuck. I have seen modern games in 1920 resolution that don't have character models this sharp, I'm dead serious. Sadly the pre-rendered sequences suffer with the higher resulotion a lot. Since they are rarely used, however, it's a sacrifice worth bringing.

.hack//G.U. will deliver you a trilogy of good JRPG fun with everything needed there. A bit of animu drama (but really toned down to a pleasant scale - in fact I started playing this again recently because Final Fantasy 13 was just overkill in this regard for my taste), revenge, mystery and some nice light hearted moments. It offers a pretty good balance in that regard. If you can't stand games where you have to crawl through dungeons, this won't convert you though. Make no mistake here. But you get a rich world with lots of lore and that you basically play a game where you always play a game gives it an interesting Meta touch. It has it's downsides and is nowhere near a perfect game, but god damn it I never regretted actually importing these three games from the USA (which I had to do, because they were never brought to Europe! And it was quite expensive too). Nowadays those games go for 100$+ easily and since there are no new units produced I think you can crack out the emulator. These are some damn fine JRPGs right here and if you want to waste a few dozen hours, go for it. In a world where realistic graphics means "grey and brown" it's nice to have a game where you can put a fat bellied pig dog walking on two legs in your party. Even if he is a soft hearted wimp.

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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about: the year 2015
We'll do something a little different today. This year has some releases announced and I'll just pick some out and predict if and how they'll be censored in Germany. At the end of the year we'll then compare reality with predictions. Please consider I have to work with release dates I was given, so if something doesn't end up being released in 2015, well that's bad luck. So then, shall we start the dance?

Game: Killing Floor 2
Chances for uncut release: maybe if hell thawes out again after freezing when Duke Nukem Forever finally released. Never.
What will happen: given the gore that has already been demo'd and what happened to part 1, there is no chance this will be released uncut in Germany. I predict heavy cuts, i.e. all of the damage model and gore gone. Maybe even the blood. The censored version will be rated 18+ still, while the uncut version gets indexed.

Game: Dying Light
Chances for uncut release: maybe, but I doubt it.
What will happen: from what I saw the gore in this game wasn't actually too groundbreaking, considering what was promised by Techland here. Still, it was enough to get Dead Island denied a classification. If the game hits a lucky day it might pass. If it won't pass, however, I can see it getting indexed.It was already announced it fell through the USK rating at this point, so this is kinda out of the game, but we saw a censored version at the Gamescom. Let's wait.

Game: Dead Island 2
Chances for uncut release: maaaaaaybe.
What will happen: Yager are a german company and thus know the boundaries pretty well. They managed to show some gruesome shit in Spec Ops: The Line and get away with it because of the context. I don't see that happen with Dead Island 2 though. Still, they too might hit a lucky day with the ratings board and manage to walk the line.

Game: Halo 5
Chances for uncut release: high.
What will happen: HALO games were pretty much rated 16+ and uncut throughout, I just see no chance that they will ramp up the gore. This thing will get rated 16+ again and pass the ratings board without problems.

Game: Resident Evil Revelations 2
Chances for uncut release: hard to predict.
What will happen: Resident Evil games have a history of getting censored, but it got better over the last few years. Revelations 1 was uncut too. It basically all depends on how much they'll ramp up the gore. My final prediction goes to it getting rated 18+ without censorship.
Bonus prediction: the japanese version will get censored somehow.

Game: Bloodborne
Chances for uncut release: pretty good.
What will happen: the Souls games never got censored, even though they had some decent amount of blood and just general gruesomeness in it. Bloodborne seems to ramp up the blood a bit more. Still, I'll say it'll manage to get by the USK with an 18+ stamp on the box.

Game: Mortal Kombat X
Chances for uncut release: we'll rather have a real life Mortal Kombat happening.
What will happen: won't pass the USK, if they even attempt it. Will get confiscated. Indexed at least.

Game: Rainbow Six: Siege
Chances for uncut release: good.
What will happen: the Rainbow Six games were never too brutal to begin with, but here and there some censorship happened within the Tom Clancy (RIP, man) universe. The fact that you can play the evil guys and maybe execute hostages etc. might tip the scale here. I think Siege will make it through the USK, but will get a red 18+ sticker slapped on.

Game: Silent Hills
Chances for uncut: hard to predict.
What will happen: this is one of the harder predictions to make. Two of the eight Silent Hill games we had so far got censored. The Silent Hills demo however showed already some pretty scary and bloody stuff (Fetus). I'm really torn, but I predict it will go through uncensored, but anything besides an 18+ rating is out of the question.

So, that's it. If you want to make your own predictions, feel free to do so in the comments. Coming the end of the year I'll dig this one up again and see what happened to the games. I'm actually curious for most of the games I listed here myself and sure hope they all manage to arrive at german shores uncensored, but with some games I'd bet real money that they won't.


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Alright fellas, this topic is as old as I am: which platform is the best to game on? This battle has raged on ever since people had choices regarding gaming and I want to go a bit into it, objectively, to answer that question. Not in regards of consoles against each other, but in regards to the good old PC vs. Console topic. Now before anyone wants to accuse me of fanboyism: I consider myself a gamer and not a company fanboy. I have a dozen consoles from all the players, besides a PC, in my house. Back in the day for example my grandma had a Sega Mega Drive (fuck you calling it Genesis), I had a Super Nintendo, and we traded back and forth. I have an X-Box and X360, I also have a PS3 and WiiU. Fuck, I'm even one of the 12 people in Europe who own both the PSP and Vita. So as you can see, I'm particularly in favor of any company, but I get the console I want to game on.
Now that this is out of the way, let's get to it.

This is one where consoles are clearly legging behind. The reason is simple: you can't upgrade a console. It gets done at point X in history and usually it has pretty nice specs for the time it releases. However, then begins the decay. Hardware is moving forwards incredibly fast and if you really want to count in high class configurations, chances are that PC hardware has run past the consoles within a few months, easily.
The problem is you can't upgrade a console. Stuff like the N64 RAM Packs were attempts at it, but really not common anymore. On the other hand you can incrementally upgrade a computer. Just put another RAM bank in it, and bam (this goes, of course, for desktop computers, not Laptops). You don't have to buy a whole new computer to keep with the times (even though that is something I prefer, to be honest, instead of just upgrading it piece by piece).

No matter how you twist and turn it, this is a victory for the computer - the fact aside that a game doesn't have to have high end graphics to be fun. Usually devs learn over time to tickle a bit more out of a console, but that doesn't change the fact that console basically stands still in the regards of hardware.

Innovational hardware
Console manufacturers seem to be more daring here. Stuff like camera controlled games, games like the Rock Band stuff with plastic instruments, the controls of the Wii and the WiiU pad, Kinect and Playstation Move... that is all stuff you don't see too much on PC. Oh sure, we have Oculus Rift and there are obscure projects going on. But the PC somehow didn't manage to push things on the user like consoles. That is, of course, most likely too due the fact that if you buy a console, you have to deal with that controls. You can't just plug in a keyboard and mouse. Which is a pity, both ways around. I always wanted to play a lot of consoles games with keyboard and mouse and I would love to have something like the WiiU tablet for my PC.

This point goes clearly to the consoles. I'm sure the PC would offer options for the same things, but the problem is someone has to develop, make and get them to the customers and supported (what good would something like PS Move do, when no game supports it?).

This'll be a short one: decisive victory for the PC. While the consoles did gain more and more features over time, it's a simple matter of fact that the PC can simply do more, because it was build with that intent.

Money (Software)
Now this is something I can only tell from a german perspective, because I get in other countries there are different prices. Building on that however you have more ways to save with PC games and thus safe more money there. Since a few years keydealers and cheap Bundles are blooming businesses. The big players of course try to prevent people from getting games in countries like Russia because they are way cheaper there, but they rarely go through much hassle with it. Worst case scenario for me was that I needed someone to gift a game to me - but that was no real problem. The absolute worst case would be that I have to run a proxy while gaming, but games that go so far are rare.
I can get a game at release on PC for easily 35~40€ (~41-47USD). Normal new games cost between 55-60€. And no, that is no typo: we do pay more than you on games, generally speaking. There are many established sites dealing with games in their digital form. And since all you get today is a disc with a bit of activation code on it, because you need one of the prevalent game plttforms (Steam, Origin etc.), which is a problem for another point, you don't really lose anything by not buying the retail version anymore. Once you used the content of the box it's useless. So you don't lose anything by buying online.

Victory for the PC. You surely can save a good bit on consoles games by using sales or shop in Asia, but the amount you save and that it's a bit easier on PC just tipped the odds here.

Money (Hardware)
Now this is a bit of a tricky one. If you want a PC that is worth something you have to spend around 1200-1400€ (or your local currency etc.). You get a machine for this that will take a few years until you have to scale down the graphics for something to run well. A new gen console will cost, even at release, less than that. But as elaborated before, the console "stand still" in regards to it's power, while you can keep a PC afloat easily with little spendings.

This one is a draw, actually. The reason for this is that if you see it from as a current investment the consoles would easily win here. No debate. However, as a long term investment the PC has the upper hand.

Game reusability
This is something where both platforms where on the same height once and then STEAM happened. Over last decade physical games for PC games have become more and more obsolete. Often times you find only a disc with some sort of activation stuff on it or even just a piece of paper with an activation code. The collector inside of me really weeps over this, as I'd love to have a large collection of PC games in my shelf to present. But why would I bother with it when I can get the exact same thing for less money online? I mean, seriously. The contents of the retail box become useless once used.
Now Microsoft tried to pull some shit with the XBone but fell flat on it's fucking face with it. To this generation you can simply rent out a disc to a friend or resell it. You have customer freedom on consoles that just doesn't exist on the PC anymore in that form. Sure, there are exceptions from the rule. The Witcher games for example you can get DRM free, not bound to any platform like STEAM. But those are just that: exceptions. The consoles tipped their toe in that pond already last gen by adding DLC tokens instead of putting it on the fucking disc.

But speaking from a current standpoint the consoles just win here. The developments of PC in this regard over the last few years were pretty shitty for us collectors.

What you like to game with is pretty much personal preference. Putting the innovative hardware I mentioned before aside here for a moment though the PC simply offers a wider variety. There are of course mouse and keyboard which are for certain genres almost considered essential (strategy and Management games to mind). On consoles you are stuck with what the manufacturer gives you. As I said before I wanted to plugin a keyboard and mouse on certain games I played on my consoles. I prefer keyboard and mouse for almost every genre. If I had wanted to do that though I'd have to get a ~70€ adapter for it (which was said to allow for actually keybinding and all that, but I never knew if it was true because I didn't pony up that cash for something that shouldn't be problem when the console has USB ports anyway). And controllers are no problem on PC. If you don't like the X360 one for some reason (never heard anyone say anything bad about) reason there is a wiii~de variety, including special controllers like for flight sims.

This point has to go to the PC as long as the console guys don't start to open up their systems just a little bit in this regard. I'm actually surprised they didn't do it, seeing how enabling play with keyboard and mouse could bring genres that are basically nonexistent on consoles to them.

Downward Compability
This is another strength of the PC. Now let me get out of the way one thing: there sure as hell are a lot of old games on PC that won't run properly on new PCs anymore. Or games that are a hassle to start up. But you also can't slam a SNES game in the WiiU.
To get old games on newer consoles you have to buy them through the digital shop, as most consoles offer it now. Which boils down to a simple fact: on console you have to put money on the table, no matter what (and I actually found the WiiU shop classic games so ridicously expensive that I will most likely never buy one of them). If I want to put my old Baldur's Gate discs in the computer, I can do that without trouble. DOSBox is a free tool allows you to run a lot of old games just fine and there are even shops that specialize on making old games compatible again. Of course you have to pay money in those store too.

This point goes to the PC. It simply offers at least a free possibility, while I have to pay if I want to play Terranigma on my console again. Not only that, but these digital stores just offer a limited amount of games, so maybe the game I really want isn't even available if I were willing to spent 6 bucks on it.
... and let's not talk about Sony's dickmove of removing downward compability.

The big momma. Why? Because bugs can render games unplayable/unbeatable, patches have become essential (especially in games with multiplayer components) and Mods can extend the lifespan/time you have fun with a game by x amount of time. The mods are the easiest part, because it's very simple: there are no Mods on consoles. This is a downside of a closed system, it's just not doable. And one of the upsides of Steam is that they make mods applicable really easy. All the installation goes through Steam. And even if you have a game/mod that isn't installed through Steam I found modding has become a simple matter of adding/replacing files through the explorer these days. It sure as hell has become a lot easier.

Bugs and patches are somewhat a tragedy no matter where you look. Games are pretty equally fucked up on both sides of the river. About a decade ago, that was one of the things console users could gloat about. There was no way to patch games on consoles or anything like that, so the games had to run well on release. Of course there were black sheep around then too, but they were pretty rare. And the big games always ran fine, especially on all the consoles before the PS2. Back then, the consoles clearly were the better option in this regard.
However, while the tables haven't turned, it has stopped in the middle. Worst case scenario is that the console version doesn't even get properly patched. Team Fortress 2 never got a patch on consoles and is still on Version 1 there (which is one of the reasons it's dead for many years). I also remember that Payday 2 basically never got really patched, which means a lot of content and balancing is missing. Granted, those are two extreme examples. But it doesn't negate the fact that the quality of console games in this regard has gone done signifacantly. PCs on the other hand have become MUCH better. Actually in the last 7 1/2 years I had two bluescreens. Two. Games rarely crashed or glitched out on me (fuck, I even played Assassin's Creed Unity and Far Cry 4 without too many hiccups). The old cliché, where the fucking mouse driver fucks up the graphics of your new game because of compability issues, just isn't contemporary anymore.

So this ends up in a draw again. Over the last years consoles have fallen down the hill while the PC climbed it up and now they've met in the middle. A few years back the consoles were the clear winner, but those times are over. As are the times where every game was a risk game with the hardware.

And the final result is... 8:4 for the PC. You're welcome.

Having grown up primarily on consoles it kinda hurt me to make this list. I really love consoles, but I feel they have gone astray as of late. They become more multifunctional and multimedia centers, and apparently people forget a console is supposed to be a dedicated gaming machine (to be fair: Bill Gates said from the beginning on he envisions the X-Box as a media center, so the path they went was what they always had in mind). And PC gaming has become so much better over the last few years too. I don't know if I'm just the luckiest gamer ever, but I almost never have crashes of any sort. And I do/game a lot with my computer.

But in the end it's the games that make the customer. I bought the X360 solely for Dead Rising. I saw this game and knew I had to have one of those and I didn't regret the buy one second. It was a great a console and I still have it for a reason. Now I could have of course gone over the topic of exclusives and multiplatform releases, but that is something that is up to the developers and publishers and has less to do with the console itself. Same thing goes for bad ports (then again, I'm apparently the only person that doesn't consider it a "bad port" when it's simply on par with the console version *shrug*).

I can only repeat what I said in the beginning: I consider myself a gamer, thus I game on everything I want to. I'm not loyal to a company, I'm loyal to my hobby. And if you are really loyal to a single company just because - get the fuck out of here, I don't want you on my porch. People who do that have lost the control over their fucking lives. In a perfect world there would be comradrie over this. "I just bought a PS4." - "Awww sheeeeit dude, let's grab something to game on that. Next week at my house, I'll get my WiiU till then." I mean, god damnit, we have the same fucking hobby you idiots. Which is giving our hard earned cash to companies for expensive elctric toys. So, you know... don't be a fucking cunt.
I never understood why people would shit on each other for this - but then again I also don't understand how you can be in absolute denial over what is the better platform.


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Alright guys, you know what's up. 2014 is coming to an end and since I never count the December in for these things, I think it's time we start the reviews for this year. This is the only definite and right one to be ever created and you should be thankful I grace you guys with it. Every one of the awards I give away is perfectly chosen. That's a fact.
This only covers games I have played in 2014. So you might find old titles or good games from this year not in the list.

Biggest positive surprise:
Wolfenstein: The New Order (PC)

Best Remake:
Binding of Isaac Rebirth (PC & Vita)

Best licensed game:
South Park: The Stick of Truth

Best teach to type game:
Typing of the Dead: Overkill (PC)

80s Award:
Far Cry: Blood Dragon (PC)

Worst Shooter:
Medal of Honor (2010) (PC)

Least skill requirement:
Peggle Nights (PC)

Best Adventure:
The Wolf Among Us (PC)

Shortest Playtime:
The Shivah (PC)

Best Demo:
The Expendabros (PC)

Best fun shooter:
The Darkness II (PC)

Best Quote:
The Wolf Among Us (PC)
"See you around... Wolf."

Craziest humor:
Jazzpunk (PC)

Shittiest port:
Dementium II HD (PC)

Best Titanfall:
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (PC)

Most forgetable:
Titanfall (PC)

Honorable mention: Watch_Dogs

Worst experience:
Thief (2014) (PC)

Gravity Falls award:
Costume Quest (PC)

Game I loved the most but somehow couldn't get into:
Deception IV (Vita)

Worst Calladudes:
Call of Duty: Ghosts (PC)

Best Jump 'n' Run:
Super House of Dead Ninjas (PC)

Best idea:
Goat Simulator (PC)

Most granted success:
Coffeestain Studios for Goat Simulator

Best open world stabby game:
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor (PC)

Most meh:
Game of Thrones RPG (PC)

Best art:
Transistor (PC)

Worst written characters:
Resident Evil: Revelations (PC)

Worst Coop:
Resident Evil 6 - Ada's campaign (PC)

Best Coop:
Payday 2 (PC)

Most customer friendly F2P system:
Might & Magic: Duel of Champions (PC)

Worst company related to gaming:
Ubisoft Montreal

Worst personality in gaming:
Anthony Burch

(before somebody wants to cry I didn't choose Leigh Alexander/Anita Sarkeesian over the guy who for example criticized games that are just "Go and kill stuff for rewards" after doing THREE fucking Borderlands games, let me explain that I consider neither of them personalities in gaming. Just because I write about a topic I have barely an idea about, insult people and am a moron in public doesn't mean I'm a figure in that area, I just talk about it)

Worst gaming website:

Biggest perversion in regards to the original:
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified (PC)

"That's interesting" award:
Stacking (PC)

Best YouTuber related to gaming:

Best romance:
Hatoful Boyfriend (PC)

Best haircut:
Bayonetta in Bayonetta II (WiiU)

Warhammer 40.000: Dawn of War/Dark Crusade (PC)

Game of the Year 2014

Goat Simulator (PC)

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Salida dear Dtoiders!

It's that time of the year again: Jim is giving away free games. Free games, everybody, FREE GAMES! Free fucking games for everybody! Well... almost everybody. It saddens me, but I simply have to implement a little rule because I don't want to feed parasites. We don't have to know each other, but if I don't know your nickname, I will check your account. And if your account is a brand new one, with zero postings besides the one asking here for stuff, you can fuck right off. Generally speaking: if your account is new and leaves the impression it was just created for grabbing shit here, you can fuck right off. Also, PlayBoyMan, you won't get shit either. I fed you a game last time, knowing you wouldn't start contributing anything to the community (because you never did), so go beg somewhere else.

Really, it kinda pisses me off that I even have to write this. I give shit away for basically free (basically because you are still free to give me something, ANYTHING, back in regard - I know most people don't do this or don't grasp the principle of "Give me something because I won't ask for anything and if you give me a choice between two things I still won't ask for one of the two things, it's your decision to make" and just grab their game and fuck off, but the choice is yours in the end) and even didn't have a problem to give away multiple games to one person. Pretty much all I demanded is being so honest to just be straight and ask for that shit and actually run the risk that someone else asks before you. So there you go. I'm kinda sorry for legit newbies that stumble across this, but I'm just not willing to cope with such pieces of shit.


So, the same procedure as every year, Miss Sophie:
- you ask for a game and you ask for it here, in form of a comment. No PMs or other shit like that.
- I sent you a link or code to activate the game. Or the game through Steam. Or a key. Depends on the game.
- you CAN give me something back in return, but I won't ask for anything. A funny link, a cool YouTube video, Steam trading cards, other games, whatever. I'll take ANYTHING. You and you alone decide what the game you receive is worth to you. If you give me a choice (I got X or Y, what do you want?) I won't decide. I solely want you to decide the worth of the things, not me.And yes, I'm a particular little bitch about this aspect. It's literally... *drumroll*... the price you pay. *badumpish*
- when a game is taken I'll STRIKE IT THROUGH. If you ask for a game that is already taken I will simply not respond. Everyone else will get a reply that says when I sent the game.
- first come, first serve.
- you can ask for multiple games, however I demand you to ask for one game at a time and let some time pass before asking for a another one.

If I get the feeling you haven't read the rules because you are acting against them, you won't get a response. Simple as that.

Thanks to Lumpommer who decided to donate a few games too! Give the man props.

- Millenium - A New Hope
- Laxius Force
- Cafe 0 - The Drowned Mermaid DELUXE (Desura)
- Samphi (Desura)
- Home Sheep Home 2

- Dead Space
- Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 - Uprising
- Populus
- Peggle Deluxe, Bejeweled 3, Bookworm Deluxe, Escape Rosecliff Island, and Feeding Frenzy 2 Deluxe
- Plants vs Zombies GOTY Edition, Peggle Nights, and Zuma's Revenge

Defender's Quest: Valley of the forgotten

- 7th Guest & 11th Hour
- Amnesia: A machine for pigs
- Amnesia: A machine for pigs
- Amnesia: A machine for pigs
- Anachronox
- Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
- Antichamber
- AquaNox
- AquaNox 2: Revelation
- Bad Mojo: Redux
- Battlestations: Midway
- Beatbuddy: Tale of the guardians
- Beatbuddy: Tale of the guardians
- Beatbuddy: Tale of the guardians
- Bioshock 2
- Black Mirror
- Clones
- Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies: Oberkommando West
- Cook, Serve, Delicious!
- Cook, Serve, Delicious!
- Crazy Plant Shop
- Crusader Kings II + Norse Unit Pack + African Unit Pack + Russian Unit Pack
- Crusader Kings II + Norse Unit Pack + African Unit Pack + Russian Unit Pack
- Crystals of time
- Daikatana
- Darksiders
- Deadfall Adventures
- Deadlight
- Deadlight
- Deadly Sin 2
- Defender's Quest: Valley of the forgotten
- Deus Ex: Invisible War
- Deus Ex: The Fall
- Doom Classic Complete
- Dreamcast Collection
- Eldritch
- Eldritch
- Empire: Total War
- Ethan: Meteor Hunter
- EvilQuest
- Fiding Teddy
- Fist Puncher + Robot Unicorn Attack DLC
- Five Nights at Freddy's
- Fortix
- Freaking Meatbags (Early Access)
- Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
- Game Dev Tycoon
- Garry's Mod
- Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams
- Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams
- Gone Home
- Gone Home (with soundtrack)
- Gun Monkeys
- Gun Monkeys
- Gunpoint
- Gunpoint
- GTR Evolution
- Hammerwatch
- Harvester
- Hitman: Absolution
- Hitman: Blood Money
- Hitman: Codename 47
- Hitman: Contracts
- Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
- Hoard
- Home
- iBomber Attack
- Ignite
- Imagine me
- Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet
- Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet
- Jazzpunk
- Jazzpunk
- Jibs Arcade
- Jolly Rover
- Just Cause 1
- Kerbal Space Program
- Knights of Pen & Paper +1 Edition
- Knock-Knock
- Kill The Bad Guy
- Kingdom Rush
- Legend of Grimrock
- Legends of Persia
- LightFish
- Lily looking through
- Litil Divil
- Long live the Queen
- Ludwig
- Luftrausers
- Mechanic Escape
- Mini Ninjas
- Monaco: What's yours is mine
- Ms. Splosion Man
- MS vs ATV Reflex
- NiGHTS into dreams
- N.P.P.D. RUSH - The milk of Ultraviolet
- No time to explain
- Nosgoth (Veteran Pack)
- OlliOlli
- One Way Heroics
- Orcs Must Die! (GOTY)
- Orcs Must Die! 2 (Complete Pack)
- Orcs Must Die! 2 (Complete Pack)
- Our Darker Purpose
- Out of the park Baseball 14
- Papers, Please
- Paranautical Activity
- Payday 2: Lycanwulf & The One Below mask
- Peggle Deluxe + Bejeweled 3 + Bookworm Deluxe + Escape Rosecliff Island + Feeding Frenzy 2 Deluxe
- PixelJunk Eden
- PixelJunk Eden
- PixelJunk Shooter
- Project Temprality
- Psychonauts
- Q.U.B.E. Directors Cut
- Race the sun
- Ravensword: Shadowlands
- Ravensword: Shadowlands
- Red Faction: Armageddon
- ReignMaker
- Reus
- Risk of Rain
- Sanctum
- Savant - Ascent
- Shadow Man
- Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition
- Shank 2
- Shivah: Kosher Edition
- Skyward Collapse Complete
- Sokobond
- Soulbringer
- Soundodger+ and Soundodger+ DLC
- SpellForce 2: Demon of the Past
- Stacking
- Starseed Pilgrim
- Steamworld Dig
- Super Hexagon
- Super House of Dead Ninjas + True Ninja DLC
- Super Puzzle Plattformer Deluxe
- Supreme Commander Gold Edition
- Sweet Lily Dreams
- Sword of the Stars: The Pit - Gold Edition
- Syder Arcade
- System Shock 2
- Tales from the dragon mountain: The Strix
- Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
- Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack
- Teleglitch: Die More Edition
- Teleglitch: Die More Edition
- Teleglitch: Die More Edition
- Terraria
- Terraria
- The 39 Steps
- The Basement Collection
- The Bridge
- The Cat Lady
- The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing - Complete Pack
- The Novelist
- The Novelist
- The Swapper
- The Yawhg
- Thief Gold
- ThreadSpace: Hyperbol
- Titan Quest Gold
- Total War: Rome 2: Caesar in Gaul (DLC)
- Total War: Shogun 2 - Fall of the Samurai
- Tower of Guns
- Type:Rider
- Unholy Heights
- Universe Sandbox
- Universe Sandbox
- Vertical Drop Heroes HD + Halloween DLC
- Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa's Rampage
- Volgarr the Viking
- Windforge
- Wizardry 6 + 7
- XCOM Enforcer
- Y's Origin

That's it. Now fuck off.

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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about: Left 4 Dead 2

Unlike with Left 4 Dead, the sequel got only one censored version in Germany. This time the banhammer hit harder than before though. L4D got indexed on list B but german justice went full retard on the second part. In February of 2010 the US version of the game got confiscated (the UK version follow in March 2013 - because logic!).
No I know that L4D2 is censored in Australia too, I don't know however to which extend. It MIGHT be that the version is identical, it might be that it is not. I don't have a comparison for it at hand so I can't really say too much about it.

First thing that got hit in Germany was the cover again. The ripped off thumb got retouched for Germany.

There is also an alternative version for the UK. Because the island dwellers don't know how to use their middle fingers properly showing middle- and index-finger like the cover does is an insult. So it got changed for obvious reasons.

The first thing that got hit pretty hard was the intro. It's a mixture of missing scenes (Ellis shoots the zombie a hole in his head, Rochelle slams an axe into a Zombie's face, the Smoker's tongue gets sawn off) and the removal of gore and bloods. Basically everything too explicit was removed or edited, meaning the Zombie apocalypse is a pretty clean thing in Germany.


As for the game itself, it got scrubbed too. First off every kind of splatter effect was completely removed. Flying legs, parts of meat being shot out of the Zombies bodies, heads being cut off - all that is completely gone. Event the ripped apart, bloody post-explosion Boomer body was completely removed. There is also a sort of special death animation where the Zombie in question is loosing part of it's colon. This animation was removed too. Same goes for the burning animation. Instead of dying painfully in the flames the Zombies pretty much just drop dead instantly.

Blood is still in the game when you hit enemies, but that's it. There are no blood splatters on the walls or the ground anymore. Blood from decorative corpses has been colored black. The survivors have been compeltely cleaned. They don't get any sort of wounds anymore, even when another player shoots at them. There are no blood splatters on the screen anymore when you hit an enemy at close range and also the melee weapons don't get covered in blood anymore.

Last but not least corpses dissolve pretty much instantly again. This means the corpse ragdoll is also out of the window.

That's it for this time. check in again next week when the big Christmas Giveaway will start. You can get games for freel. Lots of them.

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