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German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.

I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.

Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)

Stuff I also wrote and you should read:

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...

... und Pan spielt die Flöte.
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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about the Wolfenstein franchise

Oh yes, it's ze Nazis again. Let's jump right into it, this is gonna be a long one.

Many might not know this but the franchise started in 1981 with Castle Wolfenstein on the C64. The game was, as it was pretty common back then, only released in the US officially. It was also more of a stealth game. The follow up Beyond Castle Wolfenstein was released three years later and also was just released in the US. So no censorship to see here. Those two games were also done by MUSE and not by Apogee/3D Realms.

The first time Wolfenstein gained real success was with Wolfenstein 3D. A first person shooter that had stuff like black magic and a Mecha-Hitler. Of course it didn't take too long, until January 1994 to be exact, for the game getting confiscated. Why? Because of the evil symbols in it of course. The PC version, however, didn't get censored. It didn't have a proper german release and thus the only way to get it here was to import it anyways.
No, it was up to Nintendo to create a worldwide censored version. They wanted in on the shooter hype but still had to keep their family friendly face. So they removed all the blood, the DeathCams where you see endbosses splatter to pieces in slow-mo again, the dogs became huge rats and corpses and skeletons that were lying around where removed. Since they also removed puddles of blood on the floor you weren't able to replenish 10% health by drinking those. They also removed black magic Hitler and basically all the nazi symbolism. They even changed the portraits of Hitler by removing the red armband and his beard. Also the term "Hitler" was exchanged with "Staatsmeister", "Nazi-Germany" was exchanged with "Master State" and the "United States" became "The Republic". One last thing: the endboss Gretel Große, a female with two chainguns, became Trans Große which is a brown haired guy with a more Mad Max-ish attire. It also ruins an ingame joke referencing the fairy tale with Hansel & Gretel.

So all in all they wanted to keep their good shooter, but couldn't have Nazis or too much brutality on their SNES. This is one of the more famous censorships because it was global.
The re-release on the Nintendo Gameboy Advance was completely uncensored by the way. It wasn't confiscated but "only" indexed in Germany, interestingly enough. Usually it should have been confiscated on the base of an "equality of content" rule.

The removed Black Magic Hitler enemy.

The next entry was Return To Castle Wolfenstein. The censorship here is pretty quick and simple: no Nazi symbols and no Nazis. Every reference was removed and the german version which was also the only censored one (rated 16+). So instead of the Nazis you fight "The Wolfs" in the german version, a cult like army. So the Führer became the "Wolfpackleader" and Heinrich Himmler was changed into Heinrich Höller (get it? Get it? Himmel and Hölle - Heaven and Hell! Man, that's witty). Unlike before however they didn't just remove the symbols but exchanged them in many places with the Wolfenstein logo. The plot, overall, stayed pretty much the same however.
It's very arguable if the dub-changes were needed at all. But more to that later.

Then came Wolfenstein. This one was actually recalled because the publisher overlooked one swastika (!) at some point of the game. To make sure they won't get into any legal troubles they called the first editions back. The game was rated 18+ through the whole thing and apparently not even our ratings board noticed the symbol in question - or they just didn't care?

The one forgotten Swastika. We will always remember you.

This one got censored a bit heavier again. Blood, gore and ragdolls were completely gone in the german version. You weren't able to kill innocent scientists, decorative blood and bodyparts were also removed as was one death animation (the enemy got hit on the throat and dies very painfully - reminds the player of the original Turok, which had a similar animation).
And of course: Nazi references and symbols. Either it was removed or replaced with the Wolfenstein logo again. Some propaganda posters were completely redone and the Nazis become the Wolfs again. They also changed Heinrich Himmler to Höller again. At least they keep continuity with this one. 

Funfact with this one: for a very short time there was a 16+ rated version to be found on Steam. This version was removed pretty quickly and you could buy the normal 18+ rated, censored version over STEAM later. The game isn't available through STEAM anymore. The uncensored version of this is confiscated.

Which leads us to 2014 and Wolfenstein: The New Order. Alright fellas: Here. We. Go.
So of course we all expected the game to be censored. Especially after the trailers were censored. In April 2014 Bethesda confirmed this. With this confirmation came the first worrying factlet: there was supposed to be only one german master. This meant that Austria and Switzerland would only get a censored version as well. If you remember what I said in my earlier blog: we germans used A/CH imports in the past, because they have no problem with Nazis in videogames in any shape or form.
Then the STEAMDB entry popped up which promised a lot of things. For example that you couldn't activate a version from the rest of the world in Germany. You couldn't get the game gifted. You weren't supposed to be able to START the game, even if you were to have the uncensored version in your library somehow. It was also unclear for a long time if the UK version was to be uncensored or not. A british distributor said the version would be censored to an austrian shop, another distributor said it would be uncensored in UK. Now we already now at least: the UK version is uncensored. Austria and Switzerland were also regionlocked but that has been "fixed" in the meantime. So the swiss players are able to activate a US version - but that one still only has english language. If they want to play it in german they HAVE to use the censored version, the game is not multilingual. And even the dutch version seems censored, at least according to the post cards that come with the "Occupied Edition" of the game. This shows just how absurd this is, because the Netherlands practically have no legal ways of pulling a game from the shelves again. As I explained in my Manhunt entry, you can pretty much release everything there without trouble.

One of the postcards from the "Occupied Edition" from the Netherland.

So in the meantime we know: german version = no evil symbols, but uncensored when it comes to violence (according to Bethesda and it seems to be true so far - but you never know). Pretty much the same procedure as every year, Miss Sophie. The work Bethesda has put into blocking us out however is pretty new. There is no way in Germany to legally play the uncensored version except if you constantly use a VPN - something that is forbidden by STEAM and can, in theory, lead to deletion of the account. Bethesda states that these measures are necessary because they have to abide by german law. And this is where it gets interesting.
First off: let me state that this is bullshit. Even I, as a layman when it comes to law things, know that a regionlock like this is by no means necessary. This has been proven through several instances with other games. However, someone in a games forum went further. Let me state beforehand that this guy got a doctor's degree and wrote his final work about the german youth protection in the media. So he really knows his shit. He went and wrote Bethesda himself and brought a paragraph of the german law that apparently states pretty clearly that games are per se art and thus would enjoy the freedom of art and would allow the depiction of nazi symbols. And while there was apparently a court decision in this matter he also states that said court simply ignored the relevant paragraph. If this were to be true it would be really something revolutionary.
Secondly: another user stated that the regionlocking might be illegal because of laws of the european union (freedom of establishment and services, freedom of movement of capital, freedom of movement of items). And that the §86 of the german law, which is about the evil symbols we fear so much, doesn't cover private acquisition and use of items (which is correct, it doesn't). §86 also doesn't cover that, for example, Bethesda Germany has to worry about distribution and use of products from Bethesda UK. But no, Bethesda claims it's the fault of STEAM  (yeah, sorry, that interview is in german only). They even go so far to say, literally "Don't you think we took immense efforts upon us, if there were no good reasons for it?" (sic). They also blamed STEAM for the regionlock that was in place for a few days in Switzerland.

In the end this means two things: nazi symbols in videogames might not be illegal and regionlocking games, at least within the EU, might be illegitimate. I really hope someone catches on to this because it might lead to absolutely great results. Although I fear that it will lead nowhere. "We want Swastikas in videogames" isn't the best thing to shout around here, seeing how they're often blamed for people running amok and it's still a topic that makes many people itch around here.

So the situation with Wolfenstein The New Order is, at the moment of writing, like this:
- Rest of the world: no problems, uncensored, who gives a fuck?
- Europe (except Germany): is able to activate the uncensored version (english language only) and the censored version (german language only).
- Germany: can't active non-german version. Can't play non-german version (except with VPN). Can't get a non-german version gifted.

I'm really curious to see how this plays out for the future. I do hope there are some consequences. It would be about time.
Thank god we have the console versions which are not region locked (my oh my, I wonder WHY?!)

Now let's focus on hounding Hamza for stealing my thunder here.


So we have finally a comparison for Wolfenstein: The New Order. As it was assumed already: every hint towards the Nazis was completely removed. This means there are no more Nazi symbols in the complete game and instead of the Nazis they talk about “the regime” in the german version. They  even censored the symbols /references in the retro level instead of using the old assets from the SNES version. They even censored statues that were doing  the Hitler greeting in a way that they salute now. They really removed EVERY reference to the Nazis, even when certain years of the second world war were named. That said the content of the translation still fits somewhat and wasn’t badly done.
Even the slogans you see during the loadings screens were simply removed, even though those weren’t real Nazi slogans (“Our backbone is made of steel” or “Victory through fight” for example).

That said the concentration camp level is worth mentioning separately. First off it was renamed from “Forced Labor Camp Belica” to “Camp Selo”. And while Bethesda said there were no violence censorships this isn’t actually true. In the camp level you are in an oven, about to being burned with some jew corpses. While the scene is still there in the german version the other corpses were removed. If this was really necessary, considering what else is in the game, is very questionable.

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so you might have heard about the triple A mega smash hit game that is Dark Souls. While the universe doesn't really expose much of itself the game has a pretty rich world with a ton of cool lore. Blogs about this have even been frontpaged already. And while this entry even covers the baddest bitch in town, it does not enough. Gravelord Nito, this is my love letter to you. And after it you will love him too. Why you should love him?

1. He has the looks!

Just look at this fucker! He is a skeleton that basically wears a cloak of darkness and, oh, wait... MORE SKELETONS! Yes, you're seeing that right. This guy isn't content with just being basically a huge ass skeleton himself, no. He hangs more skeletons around his neck and walks around like that. Who wouldn't think this is cool? Nobody, that's who.
Also, this dude is ALWAYS smiling. "Oh, but Jim, he doesn't even have a real face to frown." Fuck you! Shut up! He is always smiling. And that is attractive! You can run around in these armor parts that you have pillaged from undead soldiers and sentient trees, you'll NEVER look as cool as this guy. A timeless style.

2. He has the status!

Nito is the first of the dead. We don't really know how or why, but practically this dude pulled a Gandalf. At some point he must have died and then said "You know what, naw. BRB." Now he is legendary in the whole kingdom of Lordran. If you're seen with this dude you will find your photo most likely in any tabloid in the whole kingdom the next day. Who the fuck is Brad Pitt?
Not only that, he even has his own covenant! And you don't get your own covenant that easy, there are only nine in the whole world. But Nito? Nito has his own. If you join you basically start infecting some poor sob's world with black Phantoms.

3. He has the skills!

"Nito unleashed a miasma of death and disease." ~ Dark Souls Intro

Now basically this dude can spread AIDS at will in fog form. He just has to put his hands in the air like he just doesn't care and BAM - AIDS fog everywhere. Of course he can also summon an infinite number of skeleton soldiers and has his big ass sword, but why would you even want to use these ressources when you can just kill any life with some purple fog?

4. He has the personality!

While everything in the whole kingdom and their dogs are so aggressive like our own usedtabe when he doesn't get his roids and try to kill you, Nito is actually the most chill dude around. You know what thiy guy does all day long? Chill out in his fucking coffin. I mean, do you see this asshole here? That's Pinwheel. A total loser, trust me.

So what does Pinwheel do all day? "Science". But because he is such a fucking loser he needed power of Nito for his science. Imagine someone stealing your power by taking a cable and jamming it in your fuse box. That's basically what Pinwheel did.
You know what Nito did then? Fucking NOTHING. He didn't care. He just wanted to chill out. So he kept chilling out. For fuck's sake, he would have most likely just GIVEN you his Lord Soul if you would ask him for it. Nito doesn't care. I mean, god damn it, you even stay in his covenant after you murdered him!

5. He's Nito!

Seriously, this fucker is adorable. You better love him. And while other enemies are cool too, no one was ever so laid back and cool as Nito was.

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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about Various Games #5

In honor of the death of H.R. Giger what would be more fitting than starting this episode with a comparison for an Alien Game? Alien Trilogy is a PC classic from 90s. As I mentioned before human enemies were something the ratings board didn't take too kindly to human like enemies. So the human soldiers and cyborgs in the game were simply replaced with Aliens as enemies.

And just as in other shooters you find "prisoners" that are tied to the walls with some sort of slime. In the german version they don't mutter stuff like "Help me" or "Kill me". If you do them the favor the gore was completely removed.

Another game with aliens in it was the N64 game Body Harvest. This one was a bit of a unique case. The german version was multilingual, it contained german, english and french language. Only when you played it in german it was censored. Once you switch the language you have actually the uncensored version. This was something that is usually exclusive to PC games and not common on console games.
What was censored? Well, human blood of course. Be it when humans get shot, eaten by the aliens or blood comes out from under the corpses, it is gone when you play the game in german.

To stay with the alien topic, which is unintentionally actually, let's talk about R-Type III. There was one enemy that was censored in the SNES version and it shows pretty much how Nintendo liked to "clean up" their games for the western market. The left screenshot is from the japanese version and I'll just let the picture speak for itself.

So, let's stay with the aliens topic, why not? SAILOR MOON for the SNES! Ha, got you fooled there. So there were a hand full of Sailor Moon games for the SNES. From Beat em up to RPG, everything was represented. One of it actually managed it over the big pond. First off the complete intro was removed for whatever reason. Maybe the story revealed in that was too brutal? I really can't make any sense of that. Fact is, however: the intro with the story is only available in the Mega Drive version (or Sega Genesis if you live in a stupid burger eating country). The SNES version only contains stills of the girls and credits and data from the girls. Strangely enough those are in french.
The "real" censorship however when the Sailor Senshis change into their battle costumes. Again: Nintendo liked their games totally clean, so stuff like buttocks or even suggested genitals were an absolute no go. You'll get the idea.

Okay, one last game for today. The game Giants: Citizen Kabuto was actually uncensored in Germany and censored in the US (and in the german PS2 version for whatever reason). So you might already guess what we got here: titties. Yes, the character Delphi is wearing a bra in the censored version while we can see her wonderful pixely nipples in the german version. Freude schöner Götterfunken.

Alright, that's it for today. Maybe there will be another episode even this week. Wolfenstein The New Order seems to become a neat little clusterfuck of censorship.
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10:53 AM on 05.10.2014

Since a blog is also there for writing other stuff besides my usual censorship column, I wanted to write an idea down I've carried with me for along time now (and who knows: maybe others do the same, I always find stuff like this interesting). Now of course I know that this game is pretty much unrealistic because of all it's features, but writing it down was still fun.

Title: Survive!
Genre: 1st/3rd Person Survival
Players: 1 - 16 players
Setting: it's pretty simple and no, I'm not sick of the Zombies yet. You're in the middle of a huge city, Zombie outbreak, you have to find a way to escape. 
Gameplay: you are a human and can switch between 1st and 3rd person view at all times. You have to fight the Zombies with either melee weapons, fists (very risky) or firearms. You can, but don't have to, find tidbits about the outbreak. Basically it's a biological attack from another country, practically WW3 has begun and your city was the first being hit. The setting is supposed to be semi-realistic, so the city is something like Washington - i.e. has the center of the country's government in it. 
Your main goal is to escape through any means necessary. The city has been put under quarantine with huge metal fences. If you find the resources there are multiple ways to escape.
- find a willing NPC who can pilot an aircraft + find said aircraft (and make bring it in working status if needed (see features list)) + hack into the AA turrets and deactivate them so you can make out of the city. You might need to find a techie NPC for this.
- find your way through the sewers. You need again a willing NPC who can guide you (like a sewer worker or something) and also enough light sources. The fights here would be very hard because of the Zombies and the claustrophobic environment. 
- tear down the fence. There would be multiple ways for achieving this, like using a huge amount of explosives, a wrecking ball etc. 
You also have the option to simply stay in the city practically forever and keep on surviving and fighting if you want. 
If you actually manage to get out of the city however you'd only find that hell has extended beyond the city already. It seems the whole country has gone to shit and you find yourself facing hopelessness.

- Child mode: this is what I would consider the "very hard mode". You don't play an adult but a child. This means you have less stamina and huge trouble with melee fighting, because you can't reach the upper sections of the zombies to hit them. In return you would be harder to spot because of your size. However, it brings more downsides than upsides. Most NPCs won't take you seriously because you are just a child. You can't handle guns as good as an adult. You can't carry nearly as much stuff as an adult and you also have problems barricading houses, because you wouldn't be able to even move a desk in front of a door. It would really be very hard, but doable.  
- Every lock has a key: a very simple thing: every lock in the game can be opened. The key is SOMEWHERE in the city, but it's there. As an example you go into a hotel, then you can maybe find a master key in the janitor's office or on the body of the zombified janitor who you have to kill now. Some people who have a key might be on the other end of the city instead. Or you just break/shoot open doors, if you can. The thing is: you could open every door in the game if you so desire. No "This door is locked/interactive"-setdressing bullshit. This also includes cars, by the way. And yes, you can just drive through the masses. At least as long as you have gas in the tank. 
Your keychain would be another "realism feature". So you can enable an invisible keychain that weighs nothing and can store all the keys you find or you might actually have to manage them. 
- Game Over, man, game over: if active the hunger/thirst stuff (see below; Realism features) you can actually play until you starve and die. While there would be enough food to survive for quite some time and water can be drunk out of every tap, you would be able to reach the point where you are going to die from starvation.
- Genetics: somewhat like in Rogue Legacy, your character could have certain traits - be it positive or negative. Maybe you have a heart condition and need your pills in regular intervals or are diabetic. Or maybe you are a gym rat that is exceptionally strong or are blessed with a high IQ and thus have more skills. It would be totally random and some of the factors can severely buttfuck you if you don't take care of them. However it would be designed in a fair way. For example: if you are diabetic, you can balance that out through eating the right stuff OR finding Insulin in a pharmacy. So if you get a diabetic character you'd be able to find the needed resources. But you have to go and look out for them. Also: for every negative trait there would be a positive one. 
- Modability: the game would be open to mods, both for creating new items in the game world, new NPCs, new skins and even new maps. This would ensure a huge amount of bonus content that is really high quality (see Skyrim for reference... I mean, Jesus, have you ever seen the stuff the community has done for that game?!). 

- Multiplayer: you are able to team up with up to 15 other players. However, those don't HAVE to play actually WITH you. They are free to try to backstab you for their own good or just kill you for fun. So you have to be careful to trust total strangers. Of course you can also immensively profit from multiplayer. If you all go scouting into different directions, you might find a huge bunch of resources with "one run", so to speak. Enough to set you for days, maybe. 
- Outposts: you can barricade every house if you find the needed resources so it becomes a secure outpost. You'd need, however, a lot for that. You have to be able to barricade the windows and doors in a manner that the Zombies can't overcome (they can smash through simple glass for example and a normal, thin door would cave in at some point, although it would take much longer than it does in "normal" zombie games). It's also possible that your outpost can get overrun and you have to secure it completely again. 
- Pick it up: basically you can pick up every item. Of course you can't just lift a car and put it in your pocket. But let's say you have some friends to help you: then you could actually push even a car around. But stuff like keys, diaries, knives you might find in a house or something like that - you can pick it all up, if you have the capacity for that. 
- Randomization: there are certain stats like strength, aptness and intelligence. Those stats would be randomized every time, just like the traits. Maybe your new character is really strong and not even dumb, maybe he is like an inbred-redneck. 
For those who don't like that, there would be a mode in which you can practically assign a strength. So while the stats will be still randomized, you can at least pick one area where your character will be definitely really good in. 
- Realism features: there would be options for multiple factors. If you played it, think the original Sniper Elite. You could for example enable wind as a factor for your shots, but deactivate gravity etc. In this case it means you can turn on/off things like hunger, thirst, the need for rest, equip load cap etc. There would be a multitude of options to design the difficulty to your liking. You could even activate an "infection" feature which means that if you get bitten or scratched by zombie you are infected and will turn into a zombie at some point yourself. If that happens you can find your zombified self in your next run (think ZombieU). 
Basically the game can be changed to be very "gamey" or quite realistic. To name one major difference: backpacks could work with a simple slot system or a realistic weight system. So you can't put all those nails, hammers and wooden planks in there because the planks simply couldn't fit due to their size. It would be up to the player to configure it to his own likings and go really into detail, to give the player the experience that is closest to what he wants. It would even go so far to reduce the number of zombies and increase the survivors, if you'd be more interested in the NPCs than the zed slaying. 
- Survivors: I always imagined to have a pool of like 2.000 or more different survivors and that the game always just uses like 400 of them at any given run. So you can re-play the game multiple times and always meet new people. Every NPC would be unique, no palette swaps. Some NPCs would be hostile towards you (be it because for example they're racist towards you, or maybe the outbreak has driven them mad), some neutral, some friendly. You can use the skills of some of them, like finding a friendly engineer to repair something for you. There would be a huge pool of really different characters. Not everybody would have a grand, interesting tale to tell, but each of them would have a lot of dialogue so that you can actually talk with them  if you manage to befriend them. Of course you can try to fight through the whole game without NPCs too. You can simply gun them all over and loot them then. In return, some NPCs might try to backstab you too.  

- Tidbits of life: just like with the books in Skyrim you can sit down and read newspapers, diaries, whatever you find. You can find out about whole family tragedies through this (think in the direction of "Gone Home"). You are, of course, free to ignore those things too. It's completely optional. I would also go so far to implement a lot of free of license books, like the stuff Lovecraft wrote. So if you can find one of those books you can actually sit down and read them, if you want to. 
All in all the game would be somewhat, SOMEWHAT, like a mixture of Dead Island and State Of Decay. Maybe throw in some DayZ into the mix. While playing those two games I thought I'll never get closer to "my" idea of a game and I enjoyed both of them. I would really love to see game like this happening, because I just enjoy them. I don't get sick of the zombie setting, I like it a lot. 
So what's with you, DToid? Any good ideas brewing in your head you might want to share?
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So this is a thing here and now, huh?

1. "Deal with it" is one of my principles
And with that I don't mean "don't be a pussy", but I mean it in the literal sense. If you have a problem: fucking deal with it. Don't whine, don't cry, don't be a little bitch. Get up and get rid of it. There is shit going down that is out of our control. But how we get out of that shit usually is. I just can't stand whiners. Whining is the most useless form of critiqueing something and it solves nothing. 

2. I like Kane & Lynch 2
It's a decent game, I like the optics, I like the art style, fuck off.

3. Drugs aren't bad, mkay?
Now while I only am interested in very certain drugs, in general I'm for the right to be high. Don't get me wrong, most of the stoner culture can fuck right off. But when somebody gets stoned in his four walls it doesn't hurt anybody. When someone drinks himself comatose in his own four walls it doesn't hurt anybody. And hell, if I want to do coke it doesn't hurt anybody. Now of course there are drugs that are simply designed to literally kill you - Krokodil comes to mind. That stuff is something else. But a state can profit massively from just legalizing stuff like weed or acid. The important factor is knowledge. Education. If more people would simply know what they're doing before they do it, there would be a lot less shit in this world. That doesn't only go for drugs.

4. I can turn my inner nerd off at will
From a to "artfäggotry with Dornenreich lyrics" to w like "Warhammer 40.000", I can nerd on about a lot of shit. However, I'm pretty good at turning this nerd-mode off at will. When I have to socliaze with strangers or anything I am clever enough to not go on a rant how Malal totally should be a legit chaos god.

5. You can most likely kiss my ass
I'm not big on the empathy thing and while I can be very empathic at times, that stuff is like my inner nerd. I don't really care at all for most people. So much so that many would agree that I am a total asshole. When I'm really friends with someone I'm usually loyal to a fault, but getting there is a process that takes time and a lot of it. And when I barely know somebody I can cut that tie within ten seconds without any form of regret. It might also be due to my job, which consists of reading patient files. If I would feel sad for every person who has so much cancer they have to take out his larynx, I'd have a lot to cry over the day. Really, I can't care a lot for people I don't or just barely know.

6. I don't care much for all the gaming internet celebrities
I barely know who PewDiePie is (and he is an asshole). Besides that I know Totalbiscuit and that's pretty much it. I don't follow Let's Players or stuff like that because I just don't care for it. I want to play my games, when I'm done I want another good game, rinse and repeat. I'm literally that guy that not only says "Can't we all go back to just enjoying games" but simply does it. I don't have the feeling I missed out on much.

7. My alignment is lawful evil
Being a good person is pretty overrated, as is having much a conscience. If I should ever get a serious chance for a criminal career that I feel is a safe bet I'll most likely take it without hesitation. I still abide by some sort of moral codex, but it's far more... hum... lax than most people's.

8. I show slight symptoms of multiple disorders
Narcissism and sociopathy mostly, but other stuff too. I don't say I have those disorders, I don't like those self-diagnosing morons, but I am aware of the fact that I might possibly have one or more of them. I also have a high possibility of having an IQ that is over average, according to a quick test from MENSA. I'll most likely never get myself checked on neither of those things seriously, since I'm pretty happy with who I am, although I think getting that shit checked out might turn me into a more social person.

9. Jokes are okay, no matter the topic[/b]
While I think you should show some sort of reverence when making jokes, no topic should be taboo per se. That includies political incorrect stuff. If you are oh so offended by that stuff because you think for example that a jew joke means one is an antisemitist or a joke about gender cliché makes one a sexist --> see the headline for #5 and remove the "most likely". However, you maybe shouldn't rip a rape joke in front of someone who was molested or anything like that. But those people who always cry about this kind of thing and feel the need to safe the human race from this impending doom - please, fuck off. 

10. I love nature[/b]
Especially forests. My desktop background is a folder of rotating forest pictures and I enjoy walking or camping in forests. However, I also love big cities. Right now I found a great spot to live: while Stuttgart is a big city, it also has a lot of green around it. I can easily reach a barbecue spot in the midst of a forest within 45 minutes or less. Perfect. 

That's it? Can I go now?
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Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively). I started this blog in 2013 and consider this series to be now in Season 2. Fuck yeah! After getting frontpage-famous I'll continue to take stuff from my colleagues at Schnittberichte and recycle that stuff for your enjoyment.

This episode is about: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)

So as I said before the SOT PC version was rated 18+ by the USK and basically the only thing they changed were nazi related things.

Now there is also the german console version which was rated 16+. So what else was done here? Well, first off, everything that I wrote in the first entry about the PC version is also missing here. So everything that has to do with Swastikas etc. has a fat, black bar laid over it.

The first difference appears when the player gets abducted by aliens. Once you're inside the ship and you see how others are probed, the already known censorship screen appears until you see yourself strapped to a chair, about to be probed.

Once you get probed and have to mash a button the censorhip sets in again. You just see the screen until the probe exploded and the anteanna is sticking out of your ass.

The second part is about anal probing too, this time with randy. You have to play a little "memorize the pattern" game here. Again, this is completely replaced by the censorship screen.

This goes for all three incarnations of this minigame. 

The second difference is in the abortion clinic. So once the doctor starts to work his magic you only get to see the censorship screen again, this time even with a message that can only described as taunting ("I think you would have liked to see this, dude."). The minigame is, of course, missing because of that too.

The exact same thing happens when you perform an "abortion" on Randy.

And that's it. Not kidding. Those two scenes were, apprently, what kept the already censored version from a 16+ rating. As I explained in the part 1 for this, it's absolutely ridicoulus. Those scenes weren't nearly as offensive and explicit as one might think.
Those scenes are, by the way, missing in ALL OF EUROPE - except the german PC version. This makes it just more absurd. At least the US PS3 version is region free and can be played on any Playstation 3 without problems. But that Germany, of all EU countries, has the least censored version is something very unusual. In return the non-german versions have the nazi symbols in them.


(yeah, I know, it's a bit short and I skipped last week, but I'm busy as all fuck right now and can't blog next monday, so I skipped a week to keep the two-week-rhythm up after that)
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