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OpiumHerz avatar 9:43 AM on 10.21.2013  (server time)
The worst thing about censorship is ███████ - 022 - Half-Life (and more)

Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively).I'll try to post entries at least all two weeks or so. Feel free to comment for suggestions, corrections or critique.

This episode is about: Half-Life

Sooo~... Half-Life. Haaa~lf-Life. More lika HALF-GAME, lolz!
Seriously, when Half-Life came out it was a huge deal. That game was the shit all over the world, but it was also the gore-bomb over here. Blood, enemies that would splatter into pieces, Barnacles spitting out body parts and shit like that. After all I wrote here already you don't have to be a genius to be able to tell that this would not make it over here. So let's start with the most obvious change:

Yepp, the soldiers were turned into robots. The humans weren't generally exchanged, just the mercs that would hunt you. They were all turned into robots now. And of course robots don't bleed and they don't splatter into bloody pieces.

However, there were still human scientists and security guards. Those were censored too. Blood splatters when shooting them were green (as if they were aliens), while the blood splattering onto walls would still be red.

Oh, and of course there were no gory fun times anymore. Instead the humans would "splatter" into screws and cogs. The same goes for the merc-bots, of course.

However, the most infamous censorhip would be the death animations. Because in the german version, people wouldn't just die. They would sit down and shake their head. I am not even kidding. You shot at them a bit, they'd sit down and start shaking their head like really disappointed parents.

So basically, all the gore was removed and we had robots instead of soldiers. Besides that all the multiplayer models which looked human (like Freeman or the Scientist) were changed out with a model that was wearing a hazard suit with helmet on.

With Half-Life: Opposing Forces, they were a bit more strict. Enemies didn't bleed at all anymore, not even the aliens. And enemies would simply disappear instead of splatter into pieces. So if you threw a satchel charge at someone and it exploded, the enemy would just stop in it's tracks and start to disappear like Casper the friendly ghost. This gets especially funny if you use the Barnacle weapon.
Besides that, the game was censored like the main title. Securities/Scientists would sit down when shot, corpses wouldn't bleed when shot and multiplayer skins were exchanged.

And then there was Half-Life: Blue Shift. You know the drill by now: soldiers are robots 1-2, enemies don't bleed at all anymore 3-4, enemies simply disappear instead of splattering into pieces 5-6 - huzzah!

Fun fact for you: both Opposing Forces and Blue Shift were released in an uncensored version in Germany, rated 18+. The censored versions were rated 16+. However, while the original Half-Life got indexed in it's uncensored form, both addons never were.

And then there are the two oddballs: Deathmatch Classic and Team Fortress Classic. Deathmatch Classic had the censorship you'd expect by now. No blood, no gore instead of screws and springs and human skins were exchanged with the "Helmet" model. However, if you switch the language to english in Steam, the game will be uncensored. So it's not really too bad.

Team Fortress Classic however didn't offer this luxury. The blood and gore censorship was in place as usual. And of course you don't fight humans anymore. EVERY class was exchanged for the same robot model. They were really lazy here. Of course each robot used it's respective weapons for the class, but they used one model for the whole team. Every class looked the same which made a game, that is really heavy on this class system, a good bit harder.

Although I can't figure out why the fuck they even changed the Pyro. I mean, look at him. Dude is already not human (and if you play Pyro, chances are neither are you). So the joke's on them, I guess - making themselves more work than necessary. Haha...?

Speaking of ruining games: anyone still remembers Counter Strike? That popular Half-Life mod? Let's end with this one. First off: we had human models here. Big surprise. Almost all they did was removing the blood. EXCEPT when it splattered onto walls or the ground. THEN you were able to see the blood, however, it was yellow. Whyever they felt it was necessary to leave that in.
They also reduced the hostages. They were still there, but instead of office workers and scientists we only had those guys in orange jumpsuits. When you would shoot at those guys they wouldn't die, but instead just cower down and wouldn't follow you anymore.

Last but not least, they characters in CS would also sit down. And this is kinda where shit hit the fan. To those who don't know: CS is a really precise game, if you play it even a little bit seriously. I mean: pixel perfect. However, having a (Counter) Terrorist just SITTING in the level made it often hard to see if the person was sitting down/dead or just crouching. And a game this competetive a falsely fired shot could make the difference between life and death and this is why I said it ruined the game somewhat.
Thank god they pulled their fingers out of their asses and the Steam version of Counter Strike "only" had the blood censorship in it.

Now, there is still some stuff to cover: the newer Counter Strikes, Team Fortress 2, Portal and of course Half-Life 2 - but let's save those for another time.


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