German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.
I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.
I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.
Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.
Allright fellas - 2013 is almost up, so it's time for the usual list. I know I'm lagging behind on my censorship blog, but I just moved, so I was busy a bit and this thing will be short and effective. I hereby also state that every other list is WRONG. That's a fact.
And, for those wondering: this list contains the game I PLAYED this year, thus containing games that weren't released in 2013.
Best Art Design:
Persona 4 Golden (Vita)
Most Boring/Worst Stephen King Ripoff
Alan Wake (PC)
Bioshock Infinite (PC)
"Are you afraid of god, Mr. Dewitt?" - "No... but I'm afraid of you."
The Walking Dead - 400 Days (PC)
Mark Of The Ninja (PC)
Payday 2 (PC)
Best Coop Game:
Payday 2 (PC)
The Last Of US (PS3)
Pokemon X (3DS)
Best Prototype game:
Saints Row IV (PC)
Worst voice acting:
Dust - An Elysian Tail (PC)
DMC - Devil May Cry (PC) & Tom Raider (PC)
"That's somewhat interesting" Award:
Dinner Date (PC)
Far Cry 3 (PC)
Shittiest Single Player campaign:
Battlefield 4 (PC)
Best feelgood game:
Spe Ops: The Line (PC)
Best title screen:
Spe Ops: The Line (PC)
Best use of sheep:
Best pirate game (of the decade):
Assasin's Creed 4 - Black Flag (PC)
Worst PC port:
Assasin's Creed 4 - Black Flag (no window mode, game turns second monitor completly black for no reason, even with starting parameters and .ini Edits you can't fix that)
Call Of Duty - Ghosts
Planescape: Torment (PC)
Warhammer 40.000 Dawn of War/Dark Crusade (PC)
allright: for a few days now I have an idea and am now confident enough to present it to get some feedback on it. And since some people only surf the blogs and not the forum I'll post it here again. The title pretty much says it: Radio DToid (or: something else where someone talks and also some music).
Since I have to consider time differences and the maun audience here, I thought about going dual. Meaining:
1. do the show as a Stream.
2. record the Stream while doing it, putting a MP3 file out afterwards.
- unlike the other Podcasts I would do the moderation alone or maybe with one guest each time, but I don't plan to have a five people crew on every time for example.
- one show will go 90-120 minutes
- since it's a radio show, of course music will fill up a good bit of it. I think of using a good variety and use stuff from every genre, every era, every game - basically. But I wouldn't want to limit myself to anything.
- as for the talking parts: this is one where I'm still pondering about the most. Sure, I can fill up some time with a bit of recapping what happened with videogames, with DToid. But I'd be most interested in what you'd guys actually would WANT to listen to. That said, I'd most likely refuse to cover stuff that has been already beaten to death by everyone everywhere. So no talk on how the industry has "a problem" or harping on about Sarkeesian from me. But what would be most interesting? Some column-like stuff focused on games?
So, now that it's out there, feel free rip it to shreds... or whatever.
Salida dear readers,
my name is Jim aka "OpiumHerz" and as some of you may already guess by that nickname: I am german. With the blog series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " I want to simply give you a little insight in videogame censorship, which is still pretty much alive and kicking here in Germany (but I won't restrict myself to Germany exclusively).I'll try to post entries at least all two weeks or so. Feel free to comment for suggestions, corrections or critique.
This episode is about: The Legend Of Zelda
So I talked abot one little Zelda censorship before already. In "Various Games #2" (Episode 21) I mentioned that the book item, which was the Bible in the original, was called "Book Of Magic" in the US version. That fell right into the usual censorship of any religious stuff back in the day and stuff like that was fairly common in any adventure or RPG. However, there are indeed more censorship considering the Zelda franchise.
One censorship that is better know is found in the N64 classic Ocarina Of Time. There are actually three versions of this one. The first one is, logically, Version 1.0. The two others, of course, are 1.1. and 1.2. So the first release that shipped hat v1.0 on them and are the only completly uncensored ones. Version 1.0 can be ONLY found on the golden modules, thus making the collectibles even more valuable. Every grey cartridge should contain the censored version of the game. Also any ports should be censored too.
The censorship though is really minimal. When Ganon gets the final strike you can actually see bloods platter. From v1.1 on the game has green blood instead of red.
Also there was another change for any version after the N64 release (so the original v1.2 still contained it, but any port of the game doesn't anymore): the Gerudo symbol, a crescent moon with a star, was changed. Most likely this happened, again, for religious releases.
And of course the music for the Fire Temple was changed. While the rumor that was done because it resembled an islamic prayer is still around, GameTrailer found in their PopFiction series out that this was actually not true.
Interestingly enough: the source code of all three versions goes back to a date BEFORE the intial release! This means all these changes were done before the game hit shelves. While Nintendo didn't comment on this, it can be assumed all the changes were already planned, but v1.0 couldn't be changed anymore for some reason.
Then there was the Gameboy spinoff Link's Awakening. Now the US version was censored, but since the censorship I talk about here is also in place in the DX re-release, I'll just include it. While the initial german release was completly uncensored, the DX re-release got the scissors.
The first hit was taken to the Buzz Blobs. When you hit those enemies with the magical powder, you can actually talk to them. In the US version the enemy sprouts one of four pretty mindless phrases which were kept identical in both versions. The german version however...
NEVER WITHOUT CONDOM!
Gimme your juice, I'll give you mine...
"Any worries or problems?"
"!STOP THE WAR! GIVE PEACE A CHANCE"
I think you can see how three of those four lines could be seen critical. How they even made it past the german QA is unknown. For the DX version all of the lines were changed to:
"You are strange!"
"Who looks under water will find some things."
"Little devils give lifting force."
"Hey! Have you visited Geierwally (that's the german name for the witch -OpiumHerz) already?"
A censorship that hit the us version first was a quest where you are supposed to bring a mermaid her bikini because she lost it. The us version turned that into a pearl necklace (thank god there is NO pun hidden there at all). The german version also made a some raunchy comments. When you found the bikini top it said "Wow! Drool..." and when the mermaid asked you go give the top back, you didn't have the option to choose "No" but instead "Drool" again.
Also, when you dived next to her while not having the item she made an angry comment ("Hey! Quit that you hoodlum!"). In the censored version that would make no sense, since she isn't bare breasted. So instead she says "I looked here already".
The last changed was done in the animal village where the crocodile painter Schule is painting a hippo. In the original version she was nude and quickly hid under a towel when you entered the hut. You could see the naked hippo for a moment though (but of course there was nothing to actually see).
In the uncensored version she is simply just naked. Wait, what? Yeah. In the DX version the hippo is sitting on the floor. Since all the other animals are practically naked too and she isn't hiding anymore, it's implied that it's just normal. Although the text was changed so it's not implied anymore that the hippo is naked. She actually mentions in the censored version that she has to sit still so the painter can work properly.
Last but not least: Zelda 3 - A Link To The Past! The best Zelda game (no discussions) was censored too. All the changes were done by NOA to remove any religious context.
First off: the title was changed. The japanese original translated to "The Triforce Of The Gods".
All of the censorship that happened in the game was due to religious reasons.
In the eastern palace there was a hexagon which was replaced.
When you use the book to read Hylian it actually shows the language. In the japanese version that language is made up from egypt hieroglyphs: the vulture, the waves and the Ankh. Since these symbols can carry religious meaning they were changed to totally garbled stuff that only slightly resembles the original signs.
And one last thing: the priest in the churche was changed into a sage (although he still resides in what is clearly a church).
All in all the Zelda games are still very well playable in their censored versions. But if you really want to experience them uncensored you better poslish your japanese or get into the world of ROM hacking.
Salida my dear readers,
I recently won the BlizzCon Virtual Ticket in this neat little contest here. Now it was brought to my attention I can't really enjoy the BlizzCon this weekend since I'm busy. So I did what Blizzard did: [u]giving it away.[/u]
You want a virtual BlizzCon ticket for this weekend? Post a comment! Anything. Make me chuckle. Make me sad. Bribe me. Whatever you want. I'll send out the reward in about 24 hours from now on (6pm German Time).
The raffle is done. Congratulations to Wrenchfarm aka #4!
Salida my dear readers,
yesterday was the last review of Jim Sterling on this website. Chris Carter is reviews director now and Sterling is gone. The reasons are left undisclosed and Jim Sterling only announced it via Twitter. Some users smell something fishy and given some factors I can't blame them for it, but this is not supposed to be the place for rumors.
Since there isn't one on the main page (be it because Jim didn't want one, be it because he wasn't granted one - the reasons don't matter, really) and I just assume there won't be a goodbye post, this is it. Because no matter if you like or despise him, he was a part of this site for years and he fucking deserves it.
Jim, you are a magnificent bastard. I often disagree with you, I'd even go so far to say I don't think you were good at reviewing games for some reasons, but god fucking damnit you were a polarizing figure on this site. I read the stuff you did because of your style and I never regretted it. I'd call you out on many things, but I know you would most likely not care enough. And I can't blame you for it.
No matter what I think of your qualities, the loss is on Destructoid's side here. You were a dick, but it was you who led me here, it was you who made me stay here and I'll sure as hell miss the shitstorms under every one of your articles. Also they can't advertise HUGE with "Block Jim Sterling" now anymore.
Godspeed on your ways. May you find happiness.
If you want to say some last words to Jim too, post them in the comments. Maybe he'll read them.
Salida my dear readers,
a week ago it was announced that Magic: The Gathering Tactics would be shut down March 2014. Now that a game gets shut down isn't TOO unusual. It's a free to play game and you can't already set up a new account. However: people have already bought cards for that game with real world money. Sony itself hasn't said anything yet what will happen with that, but the article here on Destructoid says "Some players who purchased cards over the course of the title's life are optimistic about being refunded.". I called those people idiots - I still stand by that.
Donít get me wrong. This hope is, of course, understandable. The reason Iím calling them idiots is because I see the border of optimism to stupidity crossed here. It just needs more for the game industry to give money back to their paying customers. Wait, what? Their paying customers?
Thatís right, Sony. Remember us? We are your lifeblood, your paycheck. And if you want us to stay, you might want to reconsider this situation here a bit. See, most of us gamers actually like to pay for good stuff. Apparently in this case many MTGT players liked to pay for the cards in the game. But now they see their carefully bought and build decks going away forever. Thatís not pleasant sight.
Sony has already proven that there are not master tacticians, when it comes to the games department. They made so many mistakes with the Playstation brand I canít even begin to list them all, or weíd still be here tomorrow. But this might be the first time they are actually taking money for content and then simply yanking the content away Ė at least the first time I actively noticed it. Players that signed up the last few months were not even able to enjoy the game for a whole year. Players who might have put hard earned cash into this game, though.
Sure, you can say that they are at fault. Why are they buying this shit, right? Because they most likely liked the game, dickwad. And they simply shouldnít be punished for that. Like it or not, but itís money (and just money) that keeps our favorite pastime going and that includes F2P games. We, as gamers, need companies with money in their pockets to make games. You canít create new stuff out of thin air, after all, and there is also profit that wants to be made. Besides, if you like a game, you are free to spend as much money on it as you want to. Be it for ingame boons, items or cosmetic stuff.
Sony, you have options here. The MTGT cards where bought with SC points, which can be used over a variety of games. Iím pretty sure you wonít repay anyone in money, but you guys should at least consider to recompense it through these points. It would at least show your good will and really, all you will lose are some items for others games. Nothing of value will be lost and you show good sportsmanship. People will cry foul nonetheless, but it will be less people with a smaller foundation. After all, you want us to put money into your next game and you should remember one thing here: we need each other.