I just made a post about this exact topic two days ago, and now I've really decided to expand on the idea. A contest for front-page glory is nice, but that's not my impetus, my real goal is in spreading the word that such a game existed once - and we'd be damn lucky to see its return. To those who have played it, you know of what I speak. To those who haven't, you aren't even aware of what you missed out on, and it's almost better that way. It sure beats wondering where that virtual friend I spent time sparring against after school back in the day has gone away to.

What's worse is if you were in the know, you know what happened to that series. You know how the arcade originals were radically different from all the other varieties of cabinet candy in the shop. You probably know that a set of Twin Sticks for the Saturn fetch a price that equates a kidney in gamer-cash. You probably played the Dreamcast version of the vastly more refined sequel and saw how it played so awkwardly without those sticks (and seat) that made the arcade version such an incredible experience. You probably may have heard how the PS2 version of the 3rd game in the series suffers from being plain uninspired and lackluster. I want to change this game, and I want to resurrect it. Imagine the future of mecha combat with me.



I want to see a version of VO on the newer consoles. I want online combat. I want team-based Virtuaroid action. I want it now, but I know that Sega won't be working on that anytime soon, if ever. If they are, then damn them for holding out on me, that's just cruel.

What I'd change are these four aspects, either fully or partially:
1.) Controls
2.) Graphics
3.) Sound
4.) Versus


Part One: Controls

It seems that a lot of games these days require either a plastic add-on controller shell or an entirely brand-new peripheral controller that's sold along with it (see Guitar Hero, Rock Band, Mario Kart Wii, Ace Combat 6, etc.). The best comparison I could think of with this game was that of Steel Battalion - a game that involved mechs and a cool control scheme for it, but SB was far more complex and slower-paced. VO is meant to be a fast-paced game with a ton of action, and I think that since the dual-stick controller is now standard with every console, it's a better setup for the game right from the start (especially with 4 shoulder buttons/triggers - it's how the original cabinets were designed, basically). You should be able to buy a "Limited Edition" with the new Twin Sticks for authentic VO play, but if there's anything I know about VO Twin Sticks, Limited Edition would mean all of 15 get made - which would have to be bumped to at least 50. Come on, Sega...show more people the true art of controlling those Virtuaroids, or at least give more people the option to experience it in its purest form.


Part Two: Graphics

It's the HD era. VO wasn't all that taxing on any hardware that it was running on. It was fairly basic in order to facilitate the maximum framerate, and I think that could be built upon to a great degree. Sega could build that game to be run in 1080p using the DC models and polygon counts, and then just bump-map the crap out of the details. It'd still look amazing overall, because there's not really time to admire the pretty colors when those same pretty colors are filling the sky and closing in on your face. But still, it could use some form of a facelift, maybe a nosejob and Botox along with it. However, there's no need to go crazy with the beautification process...framerate is far more crucial to the overall experience.


Part Three: Sound

Most everyone has a surround sound system these days (at least people I know do, regardless of their paycheck size), or some semblance of it. The arcade cabinets had cockpits that you would sit in, and your head would be flanked by speakers that would literally bring you directly into the battle from a sonic standpoint. Apply the same surround technology that most FPS games use these days and we've got a recipe for Baked Awesome. Imagine the sound of massive explosions all around you - some of them your own. Imagine that many, many times over. That mental image brings me to my most important point, actually:


Part Four: Versus

Ahh, multiplayer. Back in the days of the original VO arcade game (and the Saturn version, for that matter), you sat down face-to-face and fought your opponent right alongside him, mano a mano until one of you left that cockpit seat. With the advent of online multiplayer, that seat has done nothing but gotten a lot more comfortable than molded plastic and Plexiglas, and the competition has increased exponentially in number. There's more people online playing videogames than ever before, and I would love to see how a fully-realized, multiplayer (as in more than two players) Virtual ON experience would be to play. I'd probably defecate myself with glee. I don't know what inspires nerdgasms for you fine folks, but 8-PLAYER GIANT ROBOT DEATHMATCH gets me off, quite frankly. Or, I should say that it would, if it existed in the first place. Which brings me to my final point of the post:

It should exist. There's no reason why it shouldn't. And yet it doesn't, which saddens and confuses me to no end. Come on, Sega...can't you see that I need this?

This isn't really a full-on "post." This is just a thought that I kicked around and wanted to know how the general populace thought about it.

Radio Allergy (Radirgy) was supposed to come out last May for the GC and be Wii compatible. Then, O3 cancelled the GC version and made it for the Wii. Then, nothing.

So, my thought is this:
Should these brilliant DC shmups (and they are quite fun to play, like Radirgy, Karous, Zero Gunner 2, Psyvariar 2, etc.) be given a new lease on a life they wouldn't have had otherwise in the States and elsewhere by having them released on the DLC services provided by the major console manufacturers? Triggerheart Excelica, as weird as the art style makes me feel, is a good example of this - the fact that even saw the light of day here is incredible in itself.

So, if we got XBLA to drop Ikaruga and Triggerheart Excelica, should we be frothing at the mouths for more shmuppy gems? Should we be beating the doors down for the five, at best, decent shmups to drop in recent years (other than Everyday Shooter and such)?

Again, it's just a thought.

With just about every game I see these days getting a crazy, plastic peripheral controller, it makes me pine for the good old days. Not because there were any less crazy plastic peripherals that were being produced for the home console market (and for one game only, at that), but because of when you saw something that blew your f'n mind, it stuck with you forever, and the game that peripheral was made for along with it.

It's too bad that the kids these days don't know what an arcade is or was really like back when I was a young buck, and while I know that makes me sound (and feel - ::shudder::) old, it's the honest truth. Cyber Troopers: Virtual ON made me want to go back to the arcades again for something besides Street Fighter. This was something so indescribably familiar, yet so new I couldn't possibly grasp the magnitude of the game at first. It was an experience like no other, and I wish that Sega would get off of their dead asses and make a PROPER entry in the series.

Virtual ON is best described as this:


If you own a set of these, congratulations.
I officially hate you.

The twin sticks represent the left and right side of the giant robot (yes, I said GIANT ROBOT) that you choose, much like a standard fighting game. Move sticks forward in tandem, the robot moves forward. Back, it goes in reverse. Pull both to one side, left or right, and the robot will strafe in that direction. Pull them apart from each other, the robot jumps, again for double-jump. Pull them together and make a quick descent.

There's a button on the top of each stick, called a Turbo. Push the turbo on the stick in the direction you're moving in and "go kicky fast okay!" Pull the triggers for weapon shots: left for bombs, grenades and the like, right trigger for gun fire, both triggers for special weapons. Press Left Turbo and any weapon trigger (or combination) and get a weapon that will damage armor, allowing the opponent to take damage more easily. Press Right Turbo and any trigger (or combination) and the weapons take a bit longer to fire, but fuck people up most egregiously.

Now that you've had the gameplay primer, play this game (in the arcade, mind you) in a cockpit seat adjacent to the cockpit seat of the punk bitch you're about to twerk. The speakers are situated directly to the left and right of your head. Explosions aplenty.

Now, know that they made this for the Saturn, and it was good. Know that they made this for the Dreamcast, and it was amazing. Know that they made a newer one for the PS2 and it sucked horribly. Now, with the advent of twin analog sticks coming standard on all traditional game controllers, imagine what would happen if they were to bring this game online. Giant robot rape, worldwide. It would cause the fabric of space and time to be rent asunder, split in twain, if you will, by the sheer force of awesome exploding out of so many internets at once.

So my question to Sega is: Why the fuck not!?

In all honesty, this is a copy of a comment that I left on Sterling's news post about the costume change on the website. It's kind of lazy to do this for a blog post, and I'm sure I'll catch hell from a few folks, but I don't care. This means a lot to me, and I feel this way about the issue, so I'm saying my piece.

--Mission Start--


Yeah, okay.

I'm a dude. I'm a big fan of beautiful boobs by nature, in fact, I try to spend as much time between as succulent a pair of them as possible. But I feel that have to say this, because this is really how I feel about this "issue."

This is not DOA. I didn't want SC to turn into DOA. DOA is nothing more than tits, more tits and a crap, tacked-on, barely competitive fighting engine - made solely for the kind of person who wants to see tits and violence all in one place. You want a lack of violence, go grab a copy of DOA Extreme, it's the same philosophy of virtual tits overriding everything else in the entire game. It's all about how they can display as much of them as possible without just getting fucking naked, gravity and physics laws be damned.

I know that's the lifeblood of the FG industry. I know this to be true, and honestly, it pisses me off.

What I love about SC is the fighting. The system. Guard Impact. 8-Way Run. Weapon Break. These things are what bring me to the table every time, not THOSE things. I liked Ivy, Taki and every other girl best when they were in SC1, modest, pretty and deadly. SC2, a little more, but not too extreme. SC3, we're treading on DOA's borders. SC4 is trying to look like DOA, and it's really fucking needless.

I'm not hating on tits in any way, shape, or form (except fake ones, those don't feel quite right - they don't "give" the way real ones do). I just don't want to see tits take center stage on the one fighting game franchise that really, truly matters to me anymore. I hope that Project Soul is keeping an eye on the quality of gameplay, particularly online, and not just upping cup sizes across the board. It just seems such a "me too" thing to do, and I hope that doesn't become the same focus that Team Ninja seems to hold so near and dear. It does wonders for their fighting games, because all I've played since DOA2 has been a steaming turd with one hell of a fuckin' rack. Spoken.

---Mission Complete--

So, with that said, I'm hoping that the gameplay focus doesn't shift towards complete T&A. Don't get me wrong, I worship at the altar of the female body as often as I can, but I think that this story doesn't even count as "news." I think that Americans do have a far too puritanical viewpoint on sexual matters when compared to violence, but to take this game and shift its focus to tits and ass seems like a fucking crime, honestly. It's the gameplay that makes SoulCalibur better than every other goddamn fighting game on the market today, 2D, 3D or otherwise. That's what I hope to have a taste of, Ivy's tits defying all laws of existence notwithstanding.

Hopefully folks take it to heart as the rantings of a guy who loves his SoulCalibur. I know most folks (read: dudes) are going to take it the in opposite direction entirely, and think that I'm either a hardcore feminist girl or possibly gay. But I said my piece, and I'm a big enough man to stand by it to the death: Gameplay > Sex for sales' sake. Jam.

So, I kept puttering around and around trying to find a suitable place to drop my own caustic brand of science, and after a long time of internal deliberation, I have decided to roost here at Destructoid. I've got a good feeling about this.

So, I'm basically blogging to myself right now, but I plan to make that shit change with the quickness. The world may not know me yet, but soon you will know the exploits of the JAM. I'm the kind of dude who steals your DeLorean and goes drunk driving through time with Marty McFly. I'm the kind of dude that hotboxes the TARDIS with the Doctor. I travel through time and space to call you a cracker. More to come, believe that shit.