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About Me



Just your regular, average Everyday Legend.

I play just about anything you sit in front of me. The only genres that I tend to turn my nose up in disgust with are stale, derivative FPS games and yearly-churned-out sports turds. I turn my nose up at them because they stink of the purest of dark beer-fueled shite, and some may call that a strong opinion, but it sure isn't as strong as the smell of the newest Madden rolling out of EA's rectum every August, that's for sure.

I believe in the power of imagination in game design. Say what you want to about GTA IV, but any game that lets you play pool, darts, bowling, crackheaded Tetris, watch TV, see stand-up comedy, date chicks and let you sociopathically murder every person in sight has to count for something. Double bonus points for not involving a Wii remote for the first three and still managing to be quite good in the end. But like my first sentence said, I believe in imagination! There's not enough of it, there's far too much of a "me too" element in modern game design these days. It doesn't have to push any envelopes per se, but it does help if you actually thought to do something a little fucking different, or at least that's how I see it. I think that this entire industry could achieve a renaissance of sorts if that was the primary drive of creating games.

Think I'm crazy? Look at Okami. It's not new - it's fucking Zelda, just done with a little bit of imagination and love thrown into the mix. Imagination incarnate, however, is a term that goes to label games like Katamari Damacy...if we had more games like that, where a designer/developer decided to actually make something that had NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE...then we'd probably start to see a paradigm shift in how games are perceived by the world at large, not just our hardcore niches. But, that too would carry a price, because then everyone would be making Katamari-style games, I guess...whatever makes money is whatever everyone tries to ape. Just for instance, look at Devil May Cry: it begat the remake of Ninja Gaiden, which therefore spawned God Of War, which shat Ghost Rider, which in turn shat Viking, etc. The quality goes down the more that imitation takes place...think of the copier theory: make a copy of a copy enough times and you get a unintelligible, blurry fucking mess in the end.

So, long story short, FPS and sports games aren't screwing up the industry at all, but it's definitely the streetcorners that the whoremongering masses gather around to be the next trick turned. And games like Okami don't sell well - which may not prove that God doesn't exist, but it definitely makes a strong case.

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Games You Must Play Before You Take The Celestial Dirt Nap:
(Disclaimer: List in in constant state of evolutionary flux.)

Megaman 2/3 - NES
Chrono Trigger - SNES
Pilotwings 64 - N64
Metal Gear Solid - PSX
Okami - PS2
Jet Set Radio Future - XB
Rez/Rez HD - DC/XB360
Marvel VS Capcom - ARC
SoulCalibur - DC
StarTropics - NES
Dragon Spirit - NES
Kickle Cubicle - NES
Puzznic - NES
Lumines - PSP/PS2(Plus!)/XB360(Live!)
Street Fighter II: CE - ARC
Aliens VS Predator - ARC
Garou: Mark Of The Wolves - NG/ARC
The Last Blade 2 - NG/ARC
Donkey Kong Country - SNES
Final Fantasy VI (III) - SNES
Panzer Dragoon Orta - XB
Indigo Prophecy - XB/PS2
Mercenaries - XB/PS2
Grand Theft Auto 4 - XB360/PS3
Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec - PS2
Sonic Adventure - DC
Star Fox 64 - N64
The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess - Wii
WarioWare: Smooth Moves - Wii
F-Zero - SNES
UN Squadron (Area 88) - SNES
The Guardian Legend - NES
Faxanadu - NES
Shadowgate - NES
Ikaruga - DC/GC/XB360
Shadow Of The Colossus - PS2
Ico - PS2
Katamari Damacy/We Love Katamari/Beautiful Katamari - PS2/XB360 (BK)
Ace Combat Series - PSX/PS2/XB360
Portal - PC/XB360/PS3
Rise Of The Triad - PC
Sam And Max: Hit The Road - PC

Capcom VS SNK - DC/ARC
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - DC/ARC
Radirgy (Radio Allergy) - DC
Shikigami No Shiro 2 - XB


...and many, many, MANY more.


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If You Love It, Change It: Virtual ON
OhJAM | 9:56 PM on 05.21.2008 6 comments


I just made a post about this exact topic two days ago, and now I've really decided to expand on the idea. A contest for front-page glory is nice, but that's not my impetus, my real goal is in spreading the word that such a game existed once - and we'd be damn lucky to see its return. To those who have played it, you know of what I speak. To those who haven't, you aren't even aware of what you missed out on, and it's almost better that way. It sure beats wondering where that virtual friend I spent time sparring against after school back in the day has gone away to.

What's worse is if you were in the know, you know what happened to that series. You know how the arcade originals were radically different from all the other varieties of cabinet candy in the shop. You probably know that a set of Twin Sticks for the Saturn fetch a price that equates a kidney in gamer-cash. You probably played the Dreamcast version of the vastly more refined sequel and saw how it played so awkwardly without those sticks (and seat) that made the arcade version such an incredible experience. You probably may have heard how the PS2 version of the 3rd game in the series suffers from being plain uninspired and lackluster. I want to change this game, and I want to resurrect it. Imagine the future of mecha combat with me.



I want to see a version of VO on the newer consoles. I want online combat. I want team-based Virtuaroid action. I want it now, but I know that Sega won't be working on that anytime soon, if ever. If they are, then damn them for holding out on me, that's just cruel.

What I'd change are these four aspects, either fully or partially:
1.) Controls
2.) Graphics
3.) Sound
4.) Versus


Part One: Controls

It seems that a lot of games these days require either a plastic add-on controller shell or an entirely brand-new peripheral controller that's sold along with it (see Guitar Hero, Rock Band, Mario Kart Wii, Ace Combat 6, etc.). The best comparison I could think of with this game was that of Steel Battalion - a game that involved mechs and a cool control scheme for it, but SB was far more complex and slower-paced. VO is meant to be a fast-paced game with a ton of action, and I think that since the dual-stick controller is now standard with every console, it's a better setup for the game right from the start (especially with 4 shoulder buttons/triggers - it's how the original cabinets were designed, basically). You should be able to buy a "Limited Edition" with the new Twin Sticks for authentic VO play, but if there's anything I know about VO Twin Sticks, Limited Edition would mean all of 15 get made - which would have to be bumped to at least 50. Come on, Sega...show more people the true art of controlling those Virtuaroids, or at least give more people the option to experience it in its purest form.


Part Two: Graphics

It's the HD era. VO wasn't all that taxing on any hardware that it was running on. It was fairly basic in order to facilitate the maximum framerate, and I think that could be built upon to a great degree. Sega could build that game to be run in 1080p using the DC models and polygon counts, and then just bump-map the crap out of the details. It'd still look amazing overall, because there's not really time to admire the pretty colors when those same pretty colors are filling the sky and closing in on your face. But still, it could use some form of a facelift, maybe a nosejob and Botox along with it. However, there's no need to go crazy with the beautification process...framerate is far more crucial to the overall experience.


Part Three: Sound

Most everyone has a surround sound system these days (at least people I know do, regardless of their paycheck size), or some semblance of it. The arcade cabinets had cockpits that you would sit in, and your head would be flanked by speakers that would literally bring you directly into the battle from a sonic standpoint. Apply the same surround technology that most FPS games use these days and we've got a recipe for Baked Awesome. Imagine the sound of massive explosions all around you - some of them your own. Imagine that many, many times over. That mental image brings me to my most important point, actually:


Part Four: Versus

Ahh, multiplayer. Back in the days of the original VO arcade game (and the Saturn version, for that matter), you sat down face-to-face and fought your opponent right alongside him, mano a mano until one of you left that cockpit seat. With the advent of online multiplayer, that seat has done nothing but gotten a lot more comfortable than molded plastic and Plexiglas, and the competition has increased exponentially in number. There's more people online playing videogames than ever before, and I would love to see how a fully-realized, multiplayer (as in more than two players) Virtual ON experience would be to play. I'd probably defecate myself with glee. I don't know what inspires nerdgasms for you fine folks, but 8-PLAYER GIANT ROBOT DEATHMATCH gets me off, quite frankly. Or, I should say that it would, if it existed in the first place. Which brings me to my final point of the post:

It should exist. There's no reason why it shouldn't. And yet it doesn't, which saddens and confuses me to no end. Come on, Sega...can't you see that I need this?



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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5
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Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/21/2008 23:14
Puppy Licks
Good write up man, I couldnt agree more.

"Imagine the future of mecha combat with me"
oh I'm imaginin', I'm imaginin!
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/21/2008 23:22
Shin Oni
Personally, I just wish Sega would stop making HoTD cabinets and work on a new Virtual ON for the cades. Then port it over to the systems ala Steel Battalion. (throw in the arcade control scheme and i'm sold.)

I seriously would love to see Virtua On in space or something of the sort. Sure the usual areas would be awesome, but i'd like an online mode that'd let you have a deathmatchish game in space where all is well and there's much more space to go around with.

Seriously though. I'd love a new Virtua On. I loved the Saturn version. LOVED the arcade cabinet for the control and feel of being in a mech. and Sega AM2 are known for their big ass interactive cabinets. Mix this in with a Fzeroish type of cabinet and i'd love it.

This is an awesome write up though. Can't believe I missed it before though.
Big Z's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/22/2008 11:11
Big Z
Hell yeah, a chance to brush off my old skills and hop back into the Temjin cockpit would be wicked! My only complaint would be eight player combat, I think. The game's fast pace is best suited for 1v1 battles, not such large scale actions as an 8 man free for all. It would quickly degrade into a clusterfuck of "who's shooting who?" in my opinion.
Anus Mcphanus's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/22/2008 13:10
Anus Mcphanus
I LOVE Virtual On!!! I still play Oratorio Tangram on my Dreamcast (with twin sticks!) and I would cream my pants if Sega made another sequel.

A lot of the changes you mention have already been done though. Virtual On Marz uses the twin analogue sticks of the dualshock to mimic the twin sticks which you could buy separately (at least in Japan) and Virtual On On Force (arcades in Japan only) had 2vs2 multiplayer and although 8 player online matches sounds awesome a part of me thinks that that's too many players for the fast paces action of Virtual On.
OhJAM's Avatar - Comment posted on 05/22/2008 22:27
OhJAM
My thoughts were to expand the playfield and rework the target and jump/flight systems. It could work, but it would be a radical departure from standard VO. To those who had played it before, it would probably be a little jarring.

Listen to me. It's like I'm developing it in my head, and yet there's nothing to play. Damn you, Sega.
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