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Agreed: Sterling Edition
OhJAM | 11:50 AM on 10.31.2008 7 comments


If you haven't read Jim Sterling's feature The Battered Wives Of The Gaming World, do so now or face the wrath of a thousand pimp-hands. He's got more than a few points on display.

MMOs:
This, my friend is why I don't even get near them, as I have seen friends go into worse withdrawals from WOW than fucking cocaine. It'll get to the point where someone will suck someone else's virtual dick for a time card, I'm sure.

360:
Truer words never spoken. I am scared to turn on my 360, and relieved when it powers on with green lights blazing, knowing that it will only be a matter of time before it takes a simple yet drastic color change. Every game could be its theoretical last, and that is a horrible line of thought to not only have as a consumer, but freely perpetuate as a company.

Sonic Fans:
Just give up. I already have, and my life is a lot better for it.

"Core" Wii Owners:
It'll only be a matter of time before their new demographic gets bored with all of it. Nintendo isn't the real culprit at first, as their products aren't all that bad, but the 3rd-party developers who use the system as a compost landfill is the main offender, and Nintendo's allowance of that trend to continue only makes Nintendo the real culprit in the end as the mastermind of their own system's eventual, meticulously planned demise. Which, besides being an interesting plot twist, is a tragic tale of a company who once gave us veritable playgrounds such as the SNES.

PAL Gamers:
Preach on, Brother Sterling. I've shed more pixelated tears for my European bretheren in the past few years than anyone else. I wanted to move to the UK, but I'd royally fuck myself game-wise doing so. And yes, putting UK and "royally fuck myself" in the same sentence was on purpose.

You've given me a lot to think about, Jim. Keep up the good work.



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7 comments | showing # 1 to 7

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BlindsideDork's Destructoid Blog
Words...PS3 fanboy? where is your knock at PS3?
ZServ's Destructoid Blog
guy doesnt have a ps3, how is he a fanboy?
BlindsideDork's Destructoid Blog
It was a joke...just how Jim Sterling is called a Sony hater/fanboy, 360 hater/fanboy, etc on no basis whatsoever.
OhJAM's Destructoid Blog
I'm going to craft a response to his feature that will encompass a lot of things. More to come, promise.
Primo's Destructoid Blog
Sonic Fans:
Just give up.

NEVER!!!
OhJAM's Destructoid Blog
I've been amazed at the Unleashed footage, but I have to keep myself turned down to about a 4 in order to avoid the further crushing of my soul that Sega has been known to excel at.
Everyday Legend's Destructoid Blog
No idea how to get back into this account - OhJAM and I are the same.


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 about me




Just your regular, average Everyday Legend.

I play just about anything you sit in front of me. The only genres that I tend to turn my nose up in disgust with are stale, derivative FPS games and yearly-churned-out sports turds. I turn my nose up at them because they stink of the purest of dark beer-fueled shite, and some may call that a strong opinion, but it sure isn't as strong as the smell of the newest Madden rolling out of EA's rectum every August, that's for sure.

I believe in the power of imagination in game design. Say what you want to about GTA IV, but any game that lets you play pool, darts, bowling, crackheaded Tetris, watch TV, see stand-up comedy, date chicks and let you sociopathically murder every person in sight has to count for something. Double bonus points for not involving a Wii remote for the first three and still managing to be quite good in the end. But like my first sentence said, I believe in imagination! There's not enough of it, there's far too much of a "me too" element in modern game design these days. It doesn't have to push any envelopes per se, but it does help if you actually thought to do something a little fucking different, or at least that's how I see it. I think that this entire industry could achieve a renaissance of sorts if that was the primary drive of creating games.

Think I'm crazy? Look at Okami. It's not new - it's fucking Zelda, just done with a little bit of imagination and love thrown into the mix. Imagination incarnate, however, is a term that goes to label games like Katamari Damacy...if we had more games like that, where a designer/developer decided to actually make something that had NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE...then we'd probably start to see a paradigm shift in how games are perceived by the world at large, not just our hardcore niches. But, that too would carry a price, because then everyone would be making Katamari-style games, I guess...whatever makes money is whatever everyone tries to ape. Just for instance, look at Devil May Cry: it begat the remake of Ninja Gaiden, which therefore spawned God Of War, which shat Ghost Rider, which in turn shat Viking, etc. The quality goes down the more that imitation takes place...think of the copier theory: make a copy of a copy enough times and you get a unintelligible, blurry fucking mess in the end.

So, long story short, FPS and sports games aren't screwing up the industry at all, but it's definitely the streetcorners that the whoremongering masses gather around to be the next trick turned. And games like Okami don't sell well - which may not prove that God doesn't exist, but it definitely makes a strong case.

---------------------------------

Games You Must Play Before You Take The Celestial Dirt Nap:
(Disclaimer: List in in constant state of evolutionary flux.)

Megaman 2/3 - NES
Chrono Trigger - SNES
Pilotwings 64 - N64
Metal Gear Solid - PSX
Okami - PS2
Jet Set Radio Future - XB
Rez/Rez HD - DC/XB360
Marvel VS Capcom - ARC
SoulCalibur - DC
StarTropics - NES
Dragon Spirit - NES
Kickle Cubicle - NES
Puzznic - NES
Lumines - PSP/PS2(Plus!)/XB360(Live!)
Street Fighter II: CE - ARC
Aliens VS Predator - ARC
Garou: Mark Of The Wolves - NG/ARC
The Last Blade 2 - NG/ARC
Donkey Kong Country - SNES
Final Fantasy VI (III) - SNES
Panzer Dragoon Orta - XB
Indigo Prophecy - XB/PS2
Mercenaries - XB/PS2
Grand Theft Auto 4 - XB360/PS3
Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec - PS2
Sonic Adventure - DC
Star Fox 64 - N64
The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess - Wii
WarioWare: Smooth Moves - Wii
F-Zero - SNES
UN Squadron (Area 88) - SNES
The Guardian Legend - NES
Faxanadu - NES
Shadowgate - NES
Ikaruga - DC/GC/XB360
Shadow Of The Colossus - PS2
Ico - PS2
Katamari Damacy/We Love Katamari/Beautiful Katamari - PS2/XB360 (BK)
Ace Combat Series - PSX/PS2/XB360
Portal - PC/XB360/PS3
Rise Of The Triad - PC
Sam And Max: Hit The Road - PC

Capcom VS SNK - DC/ARC
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - DC/ARC
Radirgy (Radio Allergy) - DC
Shikigami No Shiro 2 - XB


...and many, many, MANY more.


-------------------------------

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