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11:29 AM on 09.23.2013

Dexters Writers Screwed US! *spoilers if you've not seen the finale*

This has to be one of the worst series finales of all time.  Right up there with the Sopranos.  At least on that show, the resolution was up to the viewer.  But after 7 glorious seasons, to end on that note?!!!!?!!!!

Killng Deb?  OK.  Dexters penance for trying to ride the fence and live in both worlds.  But at the end he's an emotional logger?  WTMF!  The fans, loyal fans deserved better.  We all deserved better.  The final season (8) wasn't a great one by the shows measure, and to end on such a whimpering note is not only a slap in the face, but a kick to the balls, and being run over...  Repeatedly.  

Fuck you very much to the writers who thought closing out the series in this fashion was a god idea.  

I'm now gloomy about next Sundays Breaking Bad finale...  I know Vince Gilligan is brilliant, and has helped to tie up almost every question the series has put forth thus far.  We are left with 1 episode.  But as great a show as BB is, I now wonder will it fall into the same trap.  

Dexter has always been a well written, thought out show.  Maybe not to the extent of BB, but it was definitely a top 5 drama on TV.  I hope I'm not left with the utter ridiculousness of a fucking logger who sheds a tear like the garbage drenched indian in the old commercials.  

I call SHENNANIGANS!   read

9:40 PM on 09.20.2013


It's been a good long while since I played Diablo 2.  Whe 3 came out, I was pumped, but alas my laptop couldn't handle the awesome sauce.  Well, now that I've gotten to sink my teeth in thanks to Blizzard bringing it to consoles (seriously, thank you Blizzard) I'm shell shocked.  It's phenomenal (as I already read...  repeatedly).  But what the crazy thing is, how did I ever get so into it with all the goddamned clicking?!?!?!?

On consoles you just control the characters movements.  Sounds like a simple thing, and it is...  But OMG what a difference a platform makes!  I'll probably never go back to D2 because I've been washed in the glow that can only come from PLAYING Diablo, as opposed to CLICKING my way through.  

As I popped the disc into my PS3, I was full of excitement.  Here it was, D3 in all its splendor and RPG hack-n-slash goodness.  But as soon as I was able to get cracking, just running around without scrolling and clicking, and fighting without clicking on each enemy repeatedly I had to wonder why it took so long, and a platform change to do something so simple.  So simple, yet so necessary.  

I know there are the purists who will want to click, and to them I say click on ahead.  As for me, the game has literally changed.  No matter how this tale spins, The console version of D3 has to be looked on (at least by most) as the definitive version.  I know you can't mod to pour gravy all over the biscut....  But if that's the trade off, I'll take it.  

I have GTA V sitting in my 360, begging to be played.  But my playstation has other ideas.  I've been blasting baddies and getting my loot on for almost 12 hours (with some minimal away time, like eating, loading up a bowl of green sticky goodness and getting drinks occasionally).

I implore those of you who have passed on prior iterations of the game for whatever reason to snag a copy and have at it.  (Unless you hate hack n slash RPGs)  I just hope that when the next Diablo game comes out, it will be on consoles on day 1, and that the control scheme used in 3 can be used by PC players.  Blizzard emancipated Diablo, I hope that they continue to keep the characters off the leash in the future.   read

6:16 PM on 09.17.2013

Grand Theft Auto dRIVE

Ok kids, I want to scream in the face of the guy who et the guy who let the guy who let the guy program the driving in the game.  I know there were plenty of complaints about the driving in GTA IV, but the loosey goosey ridiculousness of the 'Autos' that I thieve in a grand way is making me nuts!  At least in GTA 4 there were cars that slid, and there were more than a few dependable rides.  It doesn't seem that way (to me) this go round...

Now I won't put out any spoilers, but I will talk about the driving section of the prologue, and the driving (at least in the beginning) of the game itself.  Now I didn't go on a tear and play for 12 hours or anything.  I got my copy at 12:04 and was installing it by quarter after midnight.  I played til about 3:30 am.  I played for another hour or so at 7 am.  So I feel I've driven enough to make my point...  (Around 50 miles in game)

The prologues driving felt loose, but I figured that it was due to mother nature, and NOT the truck.  However, once I hit the dry sunny asphalt of Los Santos, that I'd be able to have more control.  Instead while driving straight, at a decent rate of speed, hitting a bump shot my rides into orbit.  The game will tell you that you can 'control' the car while in the air.  That's true to a certain degree... In the same way that when I fall down a flight of steps, I can control my descent.   EVERY TIME I hit the jumps, my car would automatically start to turn itself either right or left, and fighting to even out before I land on the pavement is a massive pain in the ass.  

Initially it's cool to see the car float and try to gain control, but when you're hauling ass to chase someone down, it becomes a nightmare.  Like GTA 4, you need a healthy dose of the actual break, and the e-brake to make routine turns at regular speeds.  (Talking about how we run the lights, and generally go faster than the traffic in the game itself)  However, unlike GTA 4, the cars are floaty...  Even while I was truckin in a tow truck, the jumps make it feel like there's helium in the tires, as opposed to that sweet sweet digital O2.  

I can't wrap my head around the fact that even the "taurus' & carollas" of the game feels like a super car hitting mach 5 on a jump; Control becomes more of a word than an actual ability over the car.  For a game with Auto in the title, you'd figure they'd be a little more automobile like, and not funny car.  I know you can fly a blimp in the game, I'm curious to find out how it handles in comparison...

If there's something I'm missing, please tell me so I can really enjoy the chases, and the insanity.  I was stoned playing last night, but that's no different than most nights when I get a new game and want to just dig in and enjoy.  But this morning I was stone cold sober, and still had the same issues.  I have the 360 version (although I came close to getting the PS3 version, but with no Vita support for it [I'll post something about this very soon], I figured why not get it on the platform I played 4 on).  

I haven't gone to forums for the game because I don't want any of the story ruined for me...  So let this be my venting, and asking...  Is it just me?  Or are you feeling the same way about the driving too?   read

2:42 PM on 06.14.2013

Why won't M$ take a page from Sony with XBL gold/PS+?!?

Initially when I saw that Sony was going to charge for services online (if you choose to, so still free) I didn't know what Sony was planning.  I still find XBL to be more stable when playing online, and as long as that's the case, I'll plop down my 50 bucks annually.  But M$ doesn't reward the consumer.  Sony does...  

Whether it is free fully featured games, free add ons to games, or free PSN games I know I'm getting a return on my investment into Sony online.  Setting aside the fact that there are usually at least a handful of great freebies at any given time, they also discount quite a bit of stuff.  Again running the gambit from freebies to discounts...  Yet M$ gives balls.

Sure they have "weekly deals" and that's all fine and good...  But why the fuck don't they give any deals on newer stuff?  Instead of giving me half off of an XBLA game that's 2 years old???  (most of which are available to 'silver' members as well)

Maybe it's because the 360 has outsold the PS3 and Sony is doing this to catch up...  I doubt I'd get more in return if that were the case (and it wouldn't be "premium" content).  Does Sony care more about the consumer?  (I laughed as soon as I thought of that)  Highly doubtful.

So why is it that M$ refuses to reward long term customers (I've got 9 or 10 years on XBL) with freebies or major discounts?  This is the one area of the online space that Sony is head and shoulders above the giant known as XBL.  I know Sony doesn't give a shit about me, but I still feel the love when I get Sleeping Dogs free, or when I get Tekken 6 free on my Vita (the psp version).  Sony actually makes me feel valued as a consumer...  M$ is dropping the ball.  BIGTIME   read

11:03 PM on 06.12.2013

It's Been Awhile...

So with the launch of the PS4 looming, I'm curious who will brave the lines, and how much they'd be willing to pay for the console.  (ablsolute maximum, and it has to be based soley on your budget, not on,'I'd pay 5000 &'s for one')

I really want a Vita card larger that 32 gigs.  The cards are way way too small to put more than a hanfull of games onto it.  I don't see an issue with at the very least doubling the storage, and keeping the price relatively reasonable.  If I didn't have a gift card, I wouldn't have paid the full yard.

Just an FYI, there are some stellar game deals on psn this week  

Check out 'Call of Juarez: Gunslinger' and 'Shoot Many Robots' (the former will blow you away for a 15 dollar stand alone game.  Check it out.  Especially if you dug Red Dead Revolver back in the hey day of the PS2.  (RDR is alson on psn for $9.99

(Lotta PS stuff this post...  oh well)   read

6:46 PM on 11.09.2009

Dtoid Forza 3 Camaro

I'll be the first to admit I'm not 1/100 the "artist" that there are among the Forza 3 community...But I figured I would give it a go....And where better to start than with Mr Destructoid? So here are some pics, and they are up on my storefront free of charge....I'd also like to say a big fat sorry to the fucking blog header, but apparently I can't delete it....So...Fuck it...


5:32 PM on 08.20.2009

When 12 & 200 Just Isn't Enough

Microsoft had a file size limit at the begining of the 360s arcade, so 12 achievements, and 200 pts seemed like a reasonable thing...Especially when full titles gave us up to 50 achievements, and 1000 points. But since they raised the file limits and the games we can download are bigger, offer much more in terms of gameplay and variety the 12 achievements and 200 points cap seems a bit outdated.

With titles like Battlefield, Shadow Complex, the Puzzle Quest titles, and BC Rearmed, the need for more is evident. How can a game that offers the online depth of Battlefield have 12 achievements, 10 of which can be gotten within 10 matches? Shadow Complex and BC Rearmed offer up solid campaigns, as well as "proving grounds", that make me want to go back and play more only offer up a small slice of what the game has in store for me?

This is one area that I think PSN has XBLA by the short and curlies...With 20 something trophies for a game like "The Last Guy" (which is fucking sweet), and 30+ for Wipeout HD (even before to the Fury expansion...Which is also fucking sweet, and one of the best bargains on either service)...I get more sense of accomplishment when I have a little more incentive to go back and play a game that I may have beaten, but not fully "completed".

Sure, I'm addicted to achievements and trophies, but I think there's a good reason for that...I think anyone who plays on either console enjoys that little pop-up on the screen telling me I've done something that kicked ass, and I'm being rewarded...But most XBLA games that have a substantial single player game often have a "completed the game" achievement, so that leaves 11 to be as diverse (or bland) as possible. While 12 & 200 might work for PacMan, Dig Dug, and some of the more simple casual games, there is no way that 12 is enough for something as meaty as Puzzle Quest...

Since there is a big difference between how Sony and MS 'score' for the achievement/trophies, I don't think you could go all the way up to 50 & 1000....Sonys trophies count as 1 each, so if they have 20 overall, it's 20 points...So maybe MS could do something like 25 & 500 for games that are larger in scope (like a few of the games I mentioned before)...With games clocking in at around a Gig for Shadow Complex, 560 Megs for Battlefield, and 200+ Megs for BC, PQ Galaxies could automatically qualify for an achievement boost. Sure the original Puzzle Quest is a mere 80 Megs, but the games scope is so huge, you could easily spend 100 hours playing...So there would be exceptions, just like there are for anything worthwhile.

It seems like only a natural progression at this point for MS to make this kind of move. It keeps the devs who put out quality Digital Releases hands tied, and I for one would love to see a little more creativity in there. It just seems like a shame that games like Castlevania SotN, both Banjo & Kazooies, and The Dishwasher have the same number of points and achievements as Missle Command, and Boom Boom Rocket...   read

7:49 PM on 07.31.2009

I rekindled my Killzone...

Since DTOID will be down, I figured in it's honor (and the fact I'm getting back into the game since I dll'd the map bundle for 12 bucks) maybe we could get some DTOID Killzone 2 action going. If you're up, hit me up on PSN...My tag is OCIFIED (all caps)...Shoot me a FR and we shall induldge....And maybe we can play some Fat Princess since Jimmles is a rotund lover of nobility (prima nocta, not like the good noble though)....

PSN - OCIFIED   read

4:02 PM on 07.14.2009

BullShit on Video Games (good stuff)

I like the show "Penn & Tellers BULLSHIT"...The comedian/magician duo debunk, dispell and fuck with everything ranging from astrology to enviromentalism and now to video game violence.

With a cameo by our old friend Jack Thompson Penn & Teller take on the notion that violence in video games causes kids to become killing machines....Since uploading the episode would infringe on copyright, I will say if you have Showtime check it out...Or you could do a little interweb Matlockery and look for something like (Penn & Teller Bullshit s07e03) on the website of your choosing.

I'm interested to hear what your thoughts are on how they confront this modern day evil...   read

4:50 PM on 01.26.2009

RE 5 demo sucks

How is it that in 2009 Capcom can still create a game that doesn't allow the virtual equivalent of chewing gum and walking?!!! I can't shoot a gun while I walk? I can't reload my weapon while I walk? I still have to use a menu for switching items instead of having a quick swap?

What the fuck is wrong with Capcom that they think this kind of control scheme is still viable? I know there are quite a few folks who hold RE 4 as a great game...Me personally? The control issues (which are basically the same thing) lead me to dislike the game. When you play RE 4, or the demo for 5, for all intents and purposes it is no longer a survival horror game so much as it is an action game...Only the action is kind of an oxymoron since action would infer that it is, in fact, action packed as opposed to action impaired.

I would think that there will be some sort of upgrade system included in RE 5 like there was in 4...Maybe they will give that some kind of context in 5, but the gunplay is still as stale...While the hit detection seems far better in the demo than it was in 4, the pistol is just as powerless as it was in 4...At least this time headshots seem to register like they should.

I think at some point people who loved the RE series when it began need to let Capcom know that what they are doing is no longer up to par. Poor controls were a lot easier to deal with when the original dropped because it was new, and delivered thrills. The only thing thrilling about the series lately has been when I turn it off.   read

7:04 AM on 12.15.2008

Needs To Be Said (NVGR)

I can't help but feel anger, and a huge amount of insult at what happened the other day during a George W Bush press conference in Iraq...A 29 year old man, a reporter for a TV station based in Cairo threw 2 shoes at the President. Mind you, I'm in no way shape or form a supporter of Bush, and am almost always on the opposite side of the spectrum with respect to his policies...But I am an American, and for better or for worse, he is the head of my country...So I would love to know the answer to a very simple question...

Where the fuck were this guys balls when Saddam was in charge? Why wouldn't he have thrown his footwear (a very large insult in the Arab world) at the Iraqi dictator? I know the answer, but would love to hear the bullshit that would come forth from this mans mouth. The answer is fear. Fear that he, his family, his friends, and any person he had ever met would be tortured slowly, maybe in front of him, before he was castrated, and hung out publicly as a show of force and to quell any thoughts of an uprising...


So the "man" who threw a shoe at the President of the US for "the murdered citizens, for the Iraqi orphans, and for a war on the citizens of Iraq" is a stone cold coward, and a liar on top of it. If he had so much outrage, where was it when the dictator was in power? The guy who threw the shoes is nothing but a cunt. Bush is by no means innocent, but the fact that the guy who chucked both his shoes at the leader of the free world is alive, and his relatives and friends are safe after his stunt is something he wouldn't have had before...Hopefully he will realise that....As empty as that is, it's the truth.   read

6:20 PM on 12.12.2008

I'm Torn in Persia

I've been playing the new Prince of Persia, and even after a solid few hours, and visits to more than a few 'Fertile Grounds', I can't decide if I love it, or hate it...

Maybe hate is a bit strong, but I can't help but feel belittled by Ubisoft Montreal with how they've Assassins Creed'ed the PoP control scheme and at times I feel like the term 'platforming' isn't actually applicable...And then there are those moments when everything comes together and I look like a fucking genius, and it's beautiful as the Prince pounces from pole-to-wall-to-swing-to-hook...And then there are moments where there are jumps that just go awry and I end up falling until Elikas hand grabs mine and brings me back to ground...The no dying ins't a biggie since it only alleviates a reload screen from popping up...Although if you suck then the hand grab scene may rival the Too Human Valkyrie scene (but not nearly as long).

I'm a big believer in precision platforming, and having to time jumps to the milisecond to get by...And I look forward to dying 1,000 times to get through a section and feel like I was forced to get it right. Is that my masochistic side? Probably...But the fact that there is so much forgivness is a big negative...And then I get sloppy because I feel like the moves that tie together are simple where I don't hit (B) to grab a hook late enough and die...And then I'm pleased...

I love the look of the game. It is beautiful, and the colors scream and pop off the screen...Seeing my colorful (almost gay pride parade colorfull Prince) contrast with the bleak colorless levels is nice, then seeing the world regain its beauty, and having the color saved for Elika and The Prince originally leaked all over the world really makes the simple control worthwhile...But, and there is always a but, the story starts to annoy me just as the simple control set up does...For any real exposition I'm forced to repeatedly hit the LT or LB to talk to her and find out more about the lands I'm saving. It wouldn't be so bad, but I have to hit the button at the minimum 5 times, usually more like 9-10 to get the low down. And the cut-scene this evokes is always from the same 2 angles (having both characters on screen, and swapping The Prince and Elika in the foreground). It would have been nice if they had some cut-scenes that gave me more exposition so I didn't have to stop-hit the button-watch the scene-hit the button-watch another and repeat until I get a corny one-liner that lets me know I have gone as far as I can for the moment. I can't understand the choice to force the player to hit more buttons to get a little hunk of story than the button presses I had to use to get through the area....

Which leads to the combat...Oh the combat...I miss the multi enemy combo-fest (or at least button mash) that was the PoP:SoT...The combat has "combos", but only in the sense that you can hit one button, then another, and another...But as long as you can deflect a strike by the enemy (one at a time) and tell what 'shield' they are using (which cuts down on the notion of a combo by being forced into a opening strike) then combat will cause no issues...The word combo, in gaming terms, implies that timing is an essential element. Timing matters not with the cmbat here...I miss the sweetness of the combo system in Conan...

I get that they want it cinematic, but instead of the combat feeling more focused with solid fights it seems like the combat was an afterthought....a way late afterthought...And I'm upset by that. But OK, playing a PoP game isn't mainly about combat for any fan...It's about the platforming (which has been simplified to almost a fault) but about the puzzles...BUT (again), the puzzles are pretty much MIA. A couple of crank puzzles thus far, which took no time in completing, and unless you have no clue how to approach a puzzle in a videogame shouldn't have much trouble completing quickly, is a travesty. How are puzzles, large and small scale so removed from the series?!? Now to be fair, I've yet to complete the game, but I have visited each area at least once, and completed one of the 4 completely...So I doubt they stuffed a ton of puzzles in the places I have yet to see...

So I'm torn. There is so much promise, and so much that has been underdelivered, and I still can't decide if I reallhy like, or am 'meh' about the game...I can't see how some of the design choices were made. The levels are beautiful, and are well laid out, which is all the more infuriating in one respect because I want to rule over the land....And instead I'm only allowed to be a hall monitor...It just seems unfair....   read

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