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About
So this is my blog. I collect religious art, taxidermy things and play video games old and new. I've been playing video games for over twenty years and for better or worse have begun to develop perspective on them. Heaven help me. I, with the full support of the Shadow Council, have taken it up myself to hand out decoder rings to all new members here on the C-blogs. I also like handing out little bonus gifts as well depending on what's in the trunk of my car on any given day. I do this because I have things growing inside me. Dark, twisted things that need love. So let me love you.



Forever.





This is a past banner of mine that was made by fellow Dtoider and sexting partner Char Aznable. I have tattooed this on my heart. My apologies for it being cut off but I don't know how to make it smaller and screaming at the screen hasn't worked yet.



This is a picture Science Jesus and kind-voiced personal savior Beyamor drew while thinking about me. It's my old avatar but it still rings true in the hearts of men and beasts alike. I bet he wasn't wearing pants when he made it. A man can dream, right?




Here are some pictures of things I like. I hope you like them too.






















LOL Andy was here LOL
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Well according to my clock, we are nearly three and a half hours into 2011.

One year left until 2012. You know what happens in 2012, right?


Bad stuff.

I am tipsy but not nearly intoxicated enough for my liking. No more beer. Switch to wine? Yech, that stuff tastes like the way my grandmother's room at the nursing home smelled.

No, I think I'll just sit here and ride out my tiny buzz for a bit.

My 2010 was kinda shitty. Nothing earth shattering happened or anything like that, it just wasn't very good. So I think I will try to make my 2011 better. Good even.

One thing that did make me smile in 2010 was you. Yes you. The community. So many wonderful people. So many wonderful personalities. I just adore you all. Especially the FNF crew. All of you are magnificent and I promise when the dark fires of my rage blanket the earth in ash all of you will be spared.



Played some good games in 2010. Played some bad ones too. Overall it was a decent year for me as a gamer. I discovered that with the right group of people, even the vast wasteland of online gaming can be a fun and fruitful place. I also learned that nostalgia will only carry you so far before you realize a game is a steaming Christmas morning abortion left in a shopping cart outside a K-Mart in Missouri (shout out to Splatterhouse!). Humor me for a moment as I wax poetic about a few games I enjoyed this year.



Bayonetta was a hoot. Hair witch fights angels and is so hyper-sexualized my penis actually started doing the hidden item puzzles in a Highlights magazine in the middle of the game because it couldn't be bothered to notice her. This, of course, made it a perfect moment for me.



Deadly Premonition was the life spark of God's grace placed onto a disc and given to humanity to end war, aggression and forgive Original Sin. I cherish it the way a baby cherishes falling asleep in its mother's arms.



Mass Effect 2 just did it for me. That story. The loyalty missions. Yowsa. It just swept me up into the game and it is so very rare that I get swept up in anything except the occasional hurricane. My first play through was all about Mordin because of little moments like how the mofucka can sing. My second play through was all about Legion because I think the potential there for development is amazing and makes me giggle with anticipation for Mass Effect 3. Talk shit about the combat and whatever else but in my book, Mass Effect 2 set the standard for creating realistic characters.



Metro 2033 created a hard, cold world where even though you find yourself around a lot of people, you often feel alone. I was blown away by the depth and level of detail in a post-apocalyptic Russia. Suffocating, desolate, and brilliant. It's not a perfect game and the combat can be frustrating what with bullets being the currency and also the thing that kills your enemies but if you can stick with it, this is a hidden gem and worth your time.

Ok, one last game then I'll hush.



I want to mention Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2. This one completely caught me by surprise. I mean, you play the anime. How fun is that? It looks gorgeous and the boss fights are beautiful and ridiculous. Worth a rent if just for the story mode and the boss fights. I hope to see more fighting games like this. Playing this brought me back to those Rival Schools/Power Stone/X-Men vs Street Fighter days way back and that's a damn fine compliment in my world.

There are other games that I hated and loved and liked but I'm tired and want to smoke and listen to the Kinks for a bit before I crash so I'll leave it at this for now. So I hope 2011 is a great year for all of you. Be it a job, love, or just more badass video games, I hope you get whatever it is you want most this year. Just remember, you have to go out and get it. Nothing is just given to you.

Oh and I'd like to present my favorite GIS find of 2010:



Seriously, this thing makes my skin crawl in the most delightful way.



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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


When I read Occams thoughts, I feel like I do in Super Metroid when I stuck my gun arm into an energy terminal.
I want to eat the pussy of your soul.

2010 was great for me, especially considering all the new, fun friends I've made.

And you, good sir, are at the top of that list.
I want to sexual innuendo your sexual innuendo.

I got a 360; pretty good year.

Happy New Year my good man. May it bloom for you eternal. (Or at least until 2012)
I have had a delightful day. While not a keystone of that pleasure, your blog is far and away the steeple, the thing which calls in the people against the dark.

Occams, you are a hunk. Everyone else, you manage varying levels of acceptability. Thank you, one and all. Happy new year. Always spring the extra two bucks to avoid the beer that is fermented disappointment. Have better resolutions than "kissing the cute, smart girl next year." Also, I hope you kissed the cute, smart girl. That can be a metaphor. Your call. Had I mentioned happy new year? Way to go folks.

God, this love you and me got between us? So Raven.
Let's get it on.
Ah!! Babe, let's get it on...
Happy new year, and that gif still freaks the shit outta me! Glad to see that you found some great games, and here's to finding even better games in 2011!
I'D FUCK YOUR LABIA OFF
That pig... that pig!!
Occam i want your blood... You've never steered me wrong, until today that is.
I went and purchased naruto and while the fighting is awesome,the repetiveness and boredom of walking around really turned me off.Also Lee! who likes lee,he's like the fat Bratz doll,totally out of place :D. Aside from that Happy New Year and if you find a dead pig on your doorstep dont be alarmed :D.
Happy New Year. I love your
We align very well with 4 out of the 5 games listed here, so I am now resolved to give Naruto a try (from your prior gushing, I was intrigued, but now I am committed). 2011 will be great, since the ties that bind us will hold only more tightly. This year is definitely going to be the future, right? It's good we're here together.
@Fame Designer: When I read your fanfic, I feel like I'm a very special guest star on the best episode of Murder, She Wrote ever.

@mrandydixon: Let's soul 69 then. I've always wondered if the carpet matches the curtains. Yeah, I was very fortunate to make some ace friends this year.

@Law: I want to awkward face caress your awkward face caress. I hope you bloom as well. See you on XBLA.

@Beyamor: I saw the picture of you and Knutaf. It made my heart swell. You are happiness made flesh. Your presence on this earth keeps the darkness at bay. I hope you get the kiss, the crown, the sword and win that break dancing competition to save the youth center. Happy New Year my friend.

@Kraid: You read my mind.

@rexwolf2: That gif is indeed terrifying. That's why I love it so. Hope 2011 is you jam.

@DimmuJed: My labia will tear your dick off and wield it like a baton.

@Elsa: I know. My next step is to find out where it came from then procure a copy of it to watch so that I may understand.

@kira Love your screen name by the way. My blood, eh? Well, you can take it but cut me open and a thousand butterflies with Bea Arthur's screaming face will pour out of me. That swarm can be rather hard to manage. What you found boring and repetitive I found to be charming and enjoyable. I liked finding all the puppets and doing side quests as I had become entrenched in the story, nay, the world of Naruto.

As for Lee, he is one of my favorite characters. Its the giant, unblinking doll eyes and ridiculous pageboy haircut coupled with his ludicrous personality. The fat Bratz doll metaphor I'm not exactly seeing but I like it. Where I the crafty kind I might have to make that. Were I to find a pig head, I'd simply put it with the others in the beetle pile and make room for another skull on my shelf. Happy New Year to you as well.

@Zarwid Thwic I'm going to assume you meant "I love you" (how presumptuous of me) but I like your. It leaves me hanging. Wanting more. A sentence pregnant with possibility. What do you love? Why do you leave me aching in the darkness. Love me.

@knutaf I think you would appreciate the beauty of the game and the boss fights. The overall story progression (quests and the like) may get a bit repetitive for you but I found them to be pleasant and really, the boss fights eclipsed any sort of annoyances the game play brought me. Together. How true. I'm truly happy to be sharing 2011 with you and everyone else.
I say some harsh things about ME2 sometimes, but the characterization that took place is fantastic. Mordin in particular is easily one of the best male characters of the year.

I still have to get my hands on NUNS2. One of these days.
The window's unlocked and the dog's sleeping downstairs. Take me. Take me in your arms, and caress me the way a middle-aged dope fiend caresses her old high school cheerleading trophy.
Occams, you are the wind in my sails and the water beneath my hull, you, are my boat.

P.S. All these obscure metaphors everyone’s using? You’re to blame/thank.
Occams, I fucking love you man. I can't think of a way to say that any better. Im really lucky to be considered as your friend.. Long live our friendship!
Hey man. Yeah, you're pretty cool. Your aura is so bright, it fills me with hope for the future.

(This is how I talk now)
Naaw, what a sweet thing to say Occams :P Haha I had troubles playing bayonetta with my wang but when I replay it I will try harder. Man I got to buy a new shitbox threeshwifty , my old one died so many times that the germans whom I sent it too to fix it started wondering what I was using it for. Only to play that faboulous premonition that everyone keeps telling me is so darn hawt. Thanks occams for being the no 1 dtoid c-stalker ! It takes some penis to do that ^^
I'm just here to say that I didn't play any of the games you mentioned in this blog, but you made them all sound pretty awesome. Just goes to show you there are a lot of great games to play out there. Kind of sad that it would be nearly impossible to play them all in the span of one lifetime. Oh well, HAPPY NEW YEARS!
Happy New Year to you, man. Thanks for supplying the cblogs with so much entertaining material. It's honestly better than 99% of the official stuff that's on the interwebs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2tP9s8y2Ic

Behold! The Dancing Pig! This has disturbed me for the longest time. It's nice to see it surface again.
Oh, and Happy belated New Years to you Occams! I meant to post this link for you earlier, but I've been tied up in a undisclosed location, being forced by the Dharma Initiative watch it in an endless loop.

Also:
Corndogs
The bit where Mordin sings is awesome. Hell, every line he says is awesome. The lesser known stuff like the one where he notes that one of the Cerberus crew members might have fucked a Varren is priceless.

It's not going to be the same without a weird game like Deadly Premonition this year. There's a couple with potential (like Catherine and El Shaddai), but I'm not as interested.

Also, it probably had my favourite shocker this year when York has to "purge" someone. I know they set you up for it well in advance, but I'm glad they didn't back out of it. It was ballsy and it worked so much that I was willing to let the whole Blanka Boss/Fat Blob Monster thing slide.

Time to count down the days for L.A. Noire (for me anyway).

*rocks in his chair*

Happy New Year!
@manasteel88: Naruto really is worth at least a pick up and play. Though calling it NUNS2 makes it sound like something far more decadent and perverse and I kinda love that.

@vApathyv I'm the shadow behind your eyes. I'm squeezing your heart with gloved hands. I built the birdhouse in your soul.

@Handy Haha. I only offer my thoughts and things up for mass consumption. What happens after that is entirely out of my hands.

@SteezyXL And I consider myself very lucky to be your friend. Good folk are hard to come by in this world.

@Corduroy Turtle Its all that new-fangled facial hair you are rocking. It does things to a man.

@Kaggen Acquire another 360. Play Deadly Premonition. Feel the beauty. My penis thanks you for recognizing all the hard work it has put into the c-blogs.

@DaedHead8 I was just thinking about that actually. That there most be dozens, maybe even hundreds of games out there we miss because its just too much. I guess we have to pick and choose wisely then.

@Bluth Banana Stand Hey, thank you for making this e-house an e-home.

@T3HM0RR0W I am going to tattoo this video on my brain. Bless your eyes.

@Stevil The varren std bit cracked me up. I remember after walking around trying to figure out who of my crew would've fucked a varren. I've lost a bit of excitement over Catherine after reading about the predominant puzzle element to the game. Just doesn't sing to me. El Shaddai appeals to me but in a more esoteric way than Deadly Premonition which just sorta sat in my guts all giggling and pure.

Im glad the purge happened as it did. Not enough moments like that in games cause no one seems to want to risk pissing the audience off. And see, I adored Fat Blob monster. So goddamn ridiculous. So much fun.

L.A. Noire has so much potential that I'm scared for it (of it?) I want it to be this game that I have in my head, or at least bits and pieces of it. However, I'm waiting for some solid previews before I get too happy.
@Stevil/Occams: See, I'm still excited for Catherine, though I haven't read much news and from what I've seen the puzzle element is like running through an obstacle course. El Shaddai I want strictly from a stylistic point of view. It looks pretty. Now L.A. Noir has so much riding for it that if it fails my hopes would have been cautiously prepared.
I really wish Legion came into the picture earlier -- what a great character. I'd be completely satisfied with a spin off game of Shep and Legion, some kind of dream team featuring crime busting, mystery solving, rad club scenes...someone think of a title for me here!

That pig is awesome. I think I make that face sometimes.
Since we know not everyone will be coming back for Mass Effect 3, I'm hoping and praying that Legion and Mordin come back. Mostly Legion though.
@Caiters

"The Dream Team Featuring Shep and Legion"

...too obvious?
2010 was great, 2011 is going to be awesome...and 2012, it must not end there! Well, okay, but I may only allow doomsday AFTER I get Bioshock:Infinite.
Throw a "Team Awesome" in there somewhere and I'll take it!

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