So this is my blog. I collect religious art, taxidermy things and play video games old and new. I've been playing video games for over twenty years and for better or worse have begun to develop perspective on them. Heaven help me. I, with the full support of the Shadow Council, have taken it up myself to hand out decoder rings to all new members here on the C-blogs. I also like handing out little bonus gifts as well depending on what's in the trunk of my car on any given day. I do this because I have things growing inside me. Dark, twisted things that need love. So let me love you.
This is a past banner of mine that was made by fellow Dtoider and sexting partner Char Aznable. I have tattooed this on my heart. My apologies for it being cut off but I don't know how to make it smaller and screaming at the screen hasn't worked yet.
This is a picture Science Jesus and kind-voiced personal savior Beyamor drew while thinking about me. It's my old avatar but it still rings true in the hearts of men and beasts alike. I bet he wasn't wearing pants when he made it. A man can dream, right?
Here are some pictures of things I like. I hope you like them too.
Hello. Itís been a while. Aside: You know every time I hear that phrase I think of that Staind song. I guess God really is in the details. Anywho, I played some games, bought an arm, and rearranged my shelves. I have pictures. Would you care to see them? Letís take a walk together, shall we?
I donít get his weird eye patch either but donít let that turn you away from the game.
I am currently playing Nier. I Gameflyíd this a while back and hated it. Absolutely loved the soundtrack but the tedious side missions, jerky combat and trouble navigating the map turned me off to it. So I sent it back and forgot about it for a while. Then I found a copy for $7 and figured eh, its worth it for the soundtrack alone (seriously one the best soundtracks to come out in years) so I picked it up. Finally got around to playing again and ran into the same problems. Then I decided I would stop doing the side missions and just stick to the main story. That was the key. I now find myself engrossed in this surprisingly touching story about a father trying to save his daughter. Add in a colorful cast of characters, proper voice acting and some incredible boss fights and I really can see why people would praise this game. Itís got some issues but learning to work around them and have patience and you will find a brilliant game that is well worth your time. Even the once dreaded side missions have become much easier due to a better understanding of the world and being an OCD gamer when it comes to resource collecting.
Iíve also been playing the Rusty Hearts beta. Itís a beat Ďem up MMORPG which has to be one of the most brilliant ideas ever. Being a child of the arcades, beat Ďem ups are a favored genre of mine so any time I get a chance to play a new one, Iím all over it. Rusty Hearts takes the beat Ďem up genre, throws in some light role playing elements, throws in some MMORPG stuff like crafting items and an auction house and what you get is a game thatís very easy to pick up and play and a lot of fun. My character, Tude, is a guy with essentially a hell arm that he can outfit with different claws and gauntlets so he can punch evil things to death. Very typical anime thing and I love it. Thereís also a vampire guy and a witch girl but I tend to go with the slower, hitty characters over the faster swordy ones so I canít really speak to how they play. As it is a beta it can be somewhat glitchy at times and I have been kicked from the game a few times due to a server error. For the most part though, its stable and a real hoot to play. Plus, you can go solo if you want which I love. I have yet to join a party (yeah, Iím that kind of MMO player) and I couldnít be happier. If Destructoid still has any beta codes you should go ahead and grab one.
I bought an arm. Itís not a real arm, or at least its not flesh and bone. You canít buy those. Legally. This is a prosthetic arm that I picked up in an antique shop. Everyone I encounter in the waking world hates it. That may have something to do with the fact that I am constantly offering them handjobs with it.
This is my best find in quite some time and I need to work on getting a mannequin so I can outfit it with this.
So I decided to rearrange my shelves. I own lots of things. Sadly, I donít have enough room to display them all. In a perfect world Iíd like to convert a small church into one giant display room for all my acquisitions. Of course in a perfect world Iím also a sassy black grandmother so we shall see. Anywho, here are some photos of my newly rearranged shelves. I hope you like them.
I moved the wall of teeth to the top shelf in order to better highlight my turn of the century baby doll. I also dressed her up a bit with a skinned wolf face and a stethoscope. Iíll never have kids but Iíll always have her.
I recently picked up that badass Marvel Select Juggernaut figure which is easily heavy enough to kill a baby. Easily. Sitting in front of him is my mystery toy from the late 70ís which I love even if I have no clue what he is from. He has a mini bible key chain resting in his lap as he is very guilty. Its all sparkly condensed milk love after that with saint statues, a skeksi, some Macfarlane toys back from when the company was worth a damn, and head spider from the Thing.
Continuing our tour of my shattered Orange Julius mind, you will see my Mr. Destructoid bobble head which I adore. You will also see my gas mask and Phrenology head which is my third favorite birthday present of all time. Please also note Beetlejuice and the tiny bust of the geisha made up of tiny naked geisha. Found that in New Orleans at the French Market. That was a good day for me.
At the end of the shelf we find part of my Bioshock collection with a Big Daddy, a Little Sister, and the lovely Better Homemaker splicer. Seriously a rolling pin and a tommy gun? Thatís fucking delightful. Blue tin toy robot and wind up smoked salmon sushi watch over my baby Jesus from the nativity scene who is made of bees wax. Fun fact: I collect baby Jesuseseseses from nativity scenes. I have almost 40 of them but this is my absolute favorite.
For my last shelf I wanted to place the more fragile things. So of course its where I keep all my animal parts. In the jars is a dog eye (Doberman, I believe), some dog testicles, and my pride and joy, the apple of my eye and the song in my heart, Pris.
Sheís a bit shy.
Pris was gifted to me a few years ago by a friendís girlfriend who was working on her PhD in genetics and was aware that I collected all manner of things. She came across Pris in her lab. It saddened me to see a dead kitten as I have a fondness for cats that borders on creepy but I have cherished her over the years and make an effort to proudly display her where ever I am living. As for the rest of the shelf, my Last Rites kit, some personal mementos and calf leg letter opener all sit patiently waiting for me to command them to kill in my name.
Jabba the Hutt is one of my favorite Star Wars toys ever. Of course being a child of small hands and a large mind I buried my original in the front yard in the hopes that future generations would discover this secret plastic joy and know the love I felt in my heart. Many moons later I found this guy sitting in a comic shop for $15. Thatís a good deal any way you cut it so now I have him back in my life. Plus now Jabba can be the belle of the ball with this GIT-ER-DONE lighter that, I shit you not, screams the titular phrase whenever you open the lighter. I once used the lighter to wake a friend of mine up from a deep sleep and in retaliation he stabbed me in the thigh with a pen knife.
I must be in a Star Wars mood lately because I needed my Rancor Monster next to Jabba. He sits in silent vigil over my tooth corner where I am slowly but surely amassing enough teeth to fill a mason jar. Above the Rancor is my Eve Hypo which no matter how many times I jab into my arm, will only light up and not, in fact, rewrite my DNA to give my powers.
Finally we come to my book shelf. Itís a tiny surface so I decided that Cthulhu Horrorclix statue, Walrus man from WoW and my octopus belt buckle would do nicely there.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope you have enjoyed looking at my things as much as I have enjoyed showing you. Now I will leave you with my favorite Punisher comic cover of all time.