So this is my blog. I collect religious art, taxidermy things and play video games old and new. I've been playing video games for over twenty years and for better or worse have begun to develop perspective on them. Heaven help me. I, with the full support of the Shadow Council, have taken it up myself to hand out decoder rings to all new members here on the C-blogs. I also like handing out little bonus gifts as well depending on what's in the trunk of my car on any given day. I do this because I have things growing inside me. Dark, twisted things that need love. So let me love you.
This is a past banner of mine that was made by fellow Dtoider and sexting partner Char Aznable. I have tattooed this on my heart. My apologies for it being cut off but I don't know how to make it smaller and screaming at the screen hasn't worked yet.
This is a picture Science Jesus and kind-voiced personal savior Beyamor drew while thinking about me. It's my old avatar but it still rings true in the hearts of men and beasts alike. I bet he wasn't wearing pants when he made it. A man can dream, right?
I was recently gifted with a Dtoid card. Its hard to put into words how much this means to me that I am finally a playing card.
I am the God King of my Heart.
Here are some pictures of things I like. I hope you like them too.
Welcome to another Occams Thoughts. I am glad its almost the weekend. Iím going to a flea market tomorrow where I hope to find a ďSouth Will Rise AgainĒ bowie knife and a dreamcatcher that smells like pot. Here's some of the table scraps I call thoughts. I hope you enjoy them.
I am a zombie. A Friday zombie. The past few weeks have been very busy for me at work. Lots of responsibilities and things happening here and not enough sleep or down time for my head space. So here I sit on this Friday having not really woken up and trying to give all of you some of my thoughts. I shall endeavor to provide you with coherent details reagrding my scrubbing bubble of a waking world. Here is a picture of me at work wearing a tool belt. Iím trying to make the cardigan/Hawaiian shirt/tool belt ensemble the new thing. Hope this catches on before Lade Gaga steals it from me like she stole my meat dress.
2) Minervaís Den
I picked this up when it was on sale having heard it was better than bad. Bioshock 2 didnít blow my mind the way the first game did but I enjoyed it and really, any chance to visit my beloved Rapture again is worth my time and money. So I went into Minervaís Den with an open mind and a pleasant demeanor. To say it grabbed my heart balls and gently squeezed would be a gross (in many senses) understatement. An amazing story, wonderful pacing, brilliant endingÖit had it all. This bit of DLC that I completely ignored when it came out totally made me fall in love with Bioshock and Rapture all over again. If you are at all a fan of Bioshock, even if you thought Bioshock 2 was shit, I implore you to give Minervaís Den a chance. A buddy of mine mentioned to me how he thought Minervaís Den was better than the entirety of Bioshock 2 and you know what, I think he was right.
3) Cock blocked by my girlfriend
So in an effort to be a good boyfriend, I added Final Fantasy XIII to my Gamefly queue for my girlfriend. This was back in late December mind you. I figured there wasnít anything I was dying to play at that moment, and Dead Space 2 had some time before it was released. Plus, the lady really loves RPGís and knew from my ranting that this whole Final Fantasy series was a thing and she wanted to try one out. So the game arrives and she starts playing at night after work and on the weekends a bit. I try the game and get about 3 hours in before the La Ciel / Falcie/Do Rey Me fa So La Tee Do stuff makes my lizard brain go cold and grey. However, she gets into it. A lot. Time marches on. 40 hours in. 60 hours in. I watch the release date for Dead Space 2 arrive and pass with the lady glued to the game. Earlier this week she beat the game. I can finally return it and hope Dead Space 2 gets shipped soon? Oh no. You see, she now has to beat all the bosses. So thatís another 40 hours or so. Fuck.
To be fair though, its not all bad. I have had a lot of fun teaching her about the series. I pointed out Cid to her and how he appears in every game. I giggled at her rage when the deceptively cute Master Tonberry face stabbed her entire party. I watched her squeal with glee at her first Cactaur sighting. She actually stopped the game for a second and asked me if that cactus was dancing at her. I said it was and thatís a catcaur and it has appeared in many of the games. She then called it a cunt and proceeded to kill it. Right now she is working on trying to kill the giant cactaur (or as she likes to call it, the Great Satan) which is a hoot for me to watch. So yeah, while I really really really want to play Dead Space 2, I am glad that the lady is having a blast. Plus watching her play video games makes me smile in a decidedly boyfriend-esque kinda way.
4) Marvel vs Capcom comes out next week
I have been patiently waiting for this moment to arrive for quite some time now. For years I have dreamt of another entry in the vs. series that I could play with my friends. Now that day is nearly upon us and I am genuinely excited. Having pre-ordered the game from amazon I am indulging pipe dreams of it arriving early and having the chance to connect with my biological father Mike Haggar once again on the field of battle. I donít ever expect to be great at this game and thatís fine but I do know that playing with my Dtoid buddies and talking shit and laughing is just about as close to a perfect human moment as one can get without bringing lube into the mix.
5) Plague Doctor jack in the box
So plague doctors are something that I adore. Unfortunately, they arenít really popular/known about so itís hard for me to find plague doctor stuff that I can easily afford. When the collectorís edition of Assassinís Creed: Brotherhood was announced and I saw the plague doctor jack in the box I flipped my shit. Then I read about how it was a Best Buy exclusive and I got sad. See, I had no desire to own the game. Assassinís Creed always kinda bored me to be honest. But I needed that damn jack in the box. So it came out and I waited patiently for it to go down in price. A few weeks ago I found it for $60 and figured if I put the game up on ebay I could recoup a bit of my money. Well, I did and now I have my precious plague doctor. I love him so.
I need balance. Balance in my life. Balance in all things. So what better way to balance plague doctor jack in the box then with my favorite representation of Jesus ever, suffering Christ aka Santo Cristo de Limpias. I love the concept of suffering and religious ecstacy so any time I find a beaten, bloody, holy Jesus, I giggle and hold it close to my heart in the hopes that one day I can feel love like a real live boy.
Now a left and a right only work if thereís a middle so here I placed my Last Supper mini statue. I find these all the time at the Goodwill oddly enough. Not sure why people get rid of them. I bet its that the owner dies and no one wants them anymore. To accentuate the statue, I gave Jesus some Pope John Paul (aka JP Deuce) bling and had my tiny plastic cat attacking the headless apostle. Also, bludgeoning hammer from my old Leatherface figure found a nice home resting on the table.
7) Quick Hits
-Iím playing Blue Dragon. Itís not bad. Fun, silly. Nothing too serious. I plug in my ipod and listen to Orbital while fighting stuff. Very relaxing.
-Think Iíve burnt out a bit on Read Dead Redemption. Am at the part where Iím helping the Mexican army and I canít really bring myself to care.
-I really want Diablo III to come out on consoles and even though I know it probably wonít, I have this tiny little bit of hope wedged in my heart.
-The xbox live indie game Get Rich or Die Gaming is pretty damn funny. Check out the demo for chuckles.
-Recently Iíve been fascinated with miniature hammers. So tiny and hammery and perfect. Like a murder weapon used by primordial dwarves.
-Anyone out there ever had a beer called McEwanís Scotch Ale? They stopped importing it to the states a while back and I am trying to hunt some down.
Ok folks, thatís it for me. Time to finish up here at the gallery then begin the process of becoming a weekend warrior. Hope all of you have a great one.