Note: iOS 9 + Facebook users w/ trouble scrolling: #super sorry# we hope to fix it asap. In the meantime Chrome Mobile is a reach around
hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


Occams blog header photo

Occams's blog
destructoid  Resplendent Black Grandmother

  Make changes   Set it live in the post manager. Need help? There are FAQs at the bottom of the editor.
Occams avatar 12:45 PM on 02.02.2012  (server time)
Occam Thoughts: A Warning

I feel like I need to warn you. NeverDead was recently released for consoles and itís bad. Very bad. Iím talking changing uncle Peteís diaper bad. I Gameflyíd it hoping for a fun if somewhat silly action game where I shot and chopped demons to bits. The previews I had seen looked interesting and between the dismemberment mechanic and Sangria, the poncey frogbirdladyman demon antagonist, I was fairly stoked to try this out. So imagine my horror when I started to play it and it was terrible. I played for an hour and a half then put it back in the gamefly envelope and mailed it back this morning. So Iíve come here to warn you the best way I know how: random pictures and words. Godspeed.

The life warmth between your grandmotherís legs suddenly going cold.

Being trapped in a Bath and Body Works. Forever.

Your mother wearing a jean jacket with the word ďfingerblastĒ bedazzled on the back.

Fred Durstís cover of Behind Blue Eyes.

Klhoe Kardashian's new body spray called "Upper Lip".

NeverDead is a sad and broken thing, like a baby coffin filled with wedding rings from a pawn shop. Avoid it. There are better games to play and better ways to spend your time. Nier is flawed but has a brilliant story and an amazing soundtrack. Alpha Protocol has a certain, three legged dog-esque charm. These are games that fell below the radar for the most part but have something going for them that surpasses their weaknesses. I can embrace the beauty of a flawed game. They always remind me of enjoying the Puppet Master movies as a kid. However, a bad bad game, where its pretty much just a visual representation of your parents' sex noises...I can't fully support that.

   Reply via cblogs

Get comment replies by email.     settings

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators

Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add   [*]   to your security software's whitelist.

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -