The shuffle function on my ipod made me want to write about music some more. So here you are. Enjoy.


1)

The Eels - Things the Grandchildren Should Know

Mark Oliver Everett, also known as E from the Eels is not a complicated man. He writes songs for himself about the good and bad things in his life. He lives alone in a house with his dog and a lot of records. His music is simple, pure, and brilliant. It's the kind of music that speaks to all of us, about the private moments in our lives that we all share but rarely talk about with others. If you like this song, and I sincerely hope that you do, check out the Eels' other works. You won't be disappointed.



2)

David Bowie - 5 Years

David Bowie, much like Prince, is a force of nature. Seriously, people like him aren't humans. They are some kind of music elemental that touches down on earth and gives us music that lives on long after they've gone. 5 Years is a song that I hold dead to my heart. It reminds me of some of the best and worst nights of my life. Also. the line, "I think I saw you in an ice cream parlor, drinking milkshakes cold and long.", might be my favorite lyric of all time.



3)

Ike & Tina Turner - River Deep Mountain High

This song may be the dragon uppercut of love songs. Tina Turner cranks out vocal with power that would put any hair metal band to shame with a backing by the infamous (and dead) Ike Turner makes this song a classic. A bit more rock n' roll than their doo wop counterparts, Ike & Tina Turner always had an uneasy place in the R & B circuit. However, their music would outlast the group and Tina would go on to run Bartertown while Ike would fade into drug addiction, spousal abuse.....and death. Moral of the story here is don't fuck with Tina Turner.

4)

Talking Heads - Heaven

The Talking Heads were an art band started in Rhode Island in the late 70's. This is a recipe for smug, lame white people music and yet I am oddly ok with what they created. Instead of sounding like pretentious art noise garbage, lead singer David Byrne was able to write weird music about love, spirituality and life in general. This song always makes me smile and while I'm not religious, its a fairly good summary of what I think heaven could be like. If you like this song, check out Stop Making Sense which is a concert dvd they did and may just be the greatest music dvd of all time.

5)

The Beets - Killer Tofu

For those of us in our late 20's, Nickelodeon was a magical channel in the early 90's. Doug was one of a hand full of shows that people around my age remember with a certain nostalgia and no small amount of fondness. I'll be the first to admit nostalgia's greatest danger is making things that were actually shit seem really awesome. However, as an adult and as a music fan, Killer Tofu fucking rocks. The few attempts I've made at watching most of cartoons today seem to pale in comparison to the Rocko's Modern Life and Doug's of yesterday. Though Chowder and some other hellish pirate show (forget the name) entertain me quite a bit. So while I will continue to grow into a crotchety old man, I will always enjoy these little gems of brilliance from my youth.

So I noticed that my first music post featured bands or musicians that were all guys. Well I figure for this post I'd look at the women of music that make me happy. So here it goes:


1)

Billie Holiday - Strange Fruit

This is a bad ass song for many reasons. It's Billie Holiday. It's anti-racism in a way that doesn't force feed you the message. The striking lyrics evoke a dark time in America's past and stay with you long after the song ends. It's just fucking beautiful to me.




2)

Bjork - All is Full of Love

Bjork makes music that sounds to me like that way she thinks. Considering she's fucking nuts, that's pretty impressive. If Bjork were not a successful recording artist, she'd just be some annoying, crazy foreigner that people ignore, like the bum that asks you for change via the dirty sock puppet on his left hand. However, her combination of creative brilliance and fucking nuts work for her and her music has stayed with me for a long time, especially this song.



3)

Bobbie Gentry - Ode to Billy Joe

The first time I heard Bobbie Gentry I thought she was a black woman. Now before anyone (or the two of you that read this) get riled up it's a known fact that in the realm of white female singers from the 60's and 70's this is the highest compliment that you can be paid. Disagree with me? Ok, name an amazing white woman singer from that time. Ok, now compare them to Aretha Franklin. WOMP. Not so much. The closest contender I can think of is Janis Joplin and she didn't so much sing as scream her tortured soul out on stage. Anyway, Bobbie Gentry wrote her own songs, played her instruments and handled her shit. Intelligent lyrics, an amazing voice, and smart both on stage and off? Oh my, that just fucking fabulous.



4)

Debbie Harry & Kermit the Frog - The Rainbow Connection

Debbie Harry is like if Marilyn Monroe had gotten into punk and formed a band. Debbie Harry may have been viewed as a sex symbol but that never confined her to some unattainable object. She was there at Studio 54 and then CBGB's when it all began. She was friends with Andy Warhol. She fronted Blondie. She acts and still performs with Blondie nearly forty years later. Debbie Harry is fucking awesome. If you disagree then stop reading this and go back to imagining that Megan Fox is anything but an ugly, boring slag.



5)

Patsy Cline - Three Cigarettes in the Ashtray

Patsy Cline will always remind me of my mom cooking dinner when I was a kid. She didn't know I was listening but I would go right up to the edge of our kitchen and listen to her sing along to her Patsy Cline tape. It's one of my favorite memories I have of my mother. That's the music of Patsy Cline, the soundtrack to memories. Her songs are timeless and its the kind of music that just instantly hits you , at least when you are ready for it. The fact that she died at 30 but Lady Gaga is still around creating aural abortions makes me believe in a God that is either A) a vengeful, cruel deity or B) writes for Pitchfork. Maybe both.

Reading the editor music posts made me want to post my own so here goes.



Jimi Hendrix - Hear My Train A Comin'

Jimi Hendrix has been a part of my life since I was old enough to listen to music. When I was younger I liked the strange sounds his guitar made. It was music that came from some alien place I could barely comprehend. Then I got older and his music stuck with me. It made the bad times better and gave me a soundtrack for the good times. My music tastes have changed considerably since I was young but one thing has remained constant: Jimi Hendrix is my favorite musician of all time.





The Tiger Lillies - Crack of Doom

Ok, remember in 1984 at the end with the bag of rats and the the whole finally loving big brother bit? Yeah, The Tiger Lillies are my big brother. I heard these guys a few years ago and immediately hated it. That voice was shrill and terrible and i couldn't get into it. However, I would listen to their songs and try again and at first it was the lyrics that got me (Banging in the Nails to be particular) then the musicianship and finally.....finally I heard that shrill voice echoing in my head and I knew that I loved the Tiger Lillies.





Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun

I was proudly wearing my flannel and staring at my feet when grunge was king. Most of the music and the clothes are now just memories but this song still rocks my ass. Lead guitar player and amateur storm god Kim Thayil rocks so hard that he causes this wonderful grunge apocalypse and people's faces start stretching and shit gets wild. Rock Band and best of the 90's have kept this song (and video) alive in a Frankenstein sorta way but having been there, it's nice that I still get that same wicked grin on my face when I see it now as when I watched it then. Oh, and fuck that ice cream spitting up girl with the lizard eyes. I still have nightmares about her.





Depeche Mode - I Feel You

Depeche Mode makes sexy music. Seriously. This music is what being on drugs feel like if you've never done them. No wait, this music is what being on drugs [b]and having a fucking blast
[/b] feel like if you've never done them. Now I'm not advocating drug use but I'm just trying to show how powerful music like this can make you feel. Granted Depeche Mode now is a bit less.....raw than they were but getting older and kicking heroin will do that to you. Depeche Mode is still an amazing band and any who tells you differently is probably a Creed fan so they don't count.





Hum - Stars

These guys were nerdy science guys who got together and started a band. Sounds like a worn out premise, even in the real world, right? Well this time they got it right. "Math Rock" was the best description I've ever heard about Hum. Analytical, loud, beautiful the way the frozen tundra is beautiful. That's the music Hum made. This band make me think the underdog has a chance.

28 times. 28 screaming, teeth gnashing times I have died on the first level of Demon's Souls. I have chain-smoked, binge drank and even started to put it up on ebay because of my rage at this damn game. However, through all the blind rage, empty beer cans and nicotine stained fingers, I keep playing. This tiny little voice in my head tell me to be patient. That I can do it. For some insane reason, I listen to that voice.

Now I'm not a bad gamer. Not amazing, win a bunch of tournaments type but I know enough to be competent at most any game I decide to play and would dare say I'm good at a select few titles. However, I go through the first level in Demon's Souls and sooner or later I get killed...abruptly and brutally. Of course it's my fault. I didn't have my shield up. I didn't dodge. I was too drunk and there were two of my character on the screen but damn....repeating the entire level. The entire fucking level. It kills me. It makes me want to go to Atlus HQ and burn it to the ground then salt the earth. But I'm not quitting....yet.

I'm going to try. I've decided that once a night I will try to beat the first level. Once a night is about all I can muster at this point. Controllers aren't free and punching a wall is about is impressive as driving an H3 to me so once a night is my limit. Maybe I put it down after I beat that first level. Maybe I continue through and find that Nirvana state that a lot of you have seemed to reach with Demon's Souls. I have no fucking clue.

All I know is that I caught the briefest glimpse of what all of you have seen in this game last night when I beat the blue-eyed knight for the first time. I know, I know the knight isn't a boss or all that tough but that cunt was responsible for at least 10 of those 28 deaths. Through all the shit I have eaten with this game that moment meant something to me. It was....progress? Hope? Dumb luck? I don't like to ponder it too much.

Even if I never beat the game, I will beat the first level. This is me being determined. Also, that reminds me, I'm out of beer.

Beat Brutal Legend last night. I had originally pre-ordered it but after reading a few reviews and seeing just how much the RTS element was used in the single player part of the game, I decided to rent it instead. After going through it I'm glad I did. It was a fun game but it was short (ended kinda abruptly) and seemed to do a lot of things ok rather than a few things well. You've all probably read a few reviews so I'm not going to re-hash my version of it here. It's a rental and I'll probably pick it up in a year or two when its less than $20. I hope the next game Double Fine does puts as much effort into the gameplay as it does to the story and dialogue. Also, I've decided that after listening to the soundtrack in the game that metal is ok. Not amazing, not shit, just ok, like mustard, wallpaper, and yield signs.

Now I'm playing Demon Soul's.......sweet fuck that game is to gamers what Swine Flu is to Mexican infants. Must have died a half dozen times last night in the first level after the nexus. Getting frustrated but I want to give it a chance. The things on the internet tell me to give it a chance. As I've gotten older and my perspective catches up to my age and station in life, I find my patience waning. I would like Demon Soul's to help me rekindle that patience I had as a gamer when I was younger. It's sorta generic looking and drab but I like that. I've played too many RPG's where your character wears some variety of living hell armor/the bones of a dead god/exosuit made of stem cells and switchblades throughout most of the game so it's nice to see a game that plays down that element to emphasize the world your character is (unfortunately) in.

Next up? Maybe Borderlands. Maybe Dragon Age: Origins. They both look good but so what? A game looking good nowadays is standard and unremarkable and no one notices. Games have to look really fucking good to get noticed. I just want the potential I see in both the games to live up to the hype. Guess we'll see though.

Creed is first. They are like the Chili's of music.

-Now, that being said, I drew some art in MS paint and wanted to put it up on the interweb for all of you to see (and mock). Because really, what better way to express yourself artistically than using the drawing program that came installed on your computer's operating system. I know that I am not particularly talented (the hook hand makes it tough to do fine detail work) but I was more going for subject matter rather than style. So here are a few pieces of my terrible MS paint art. To describe it succintly, I would have to say it's the artistic equivalent of your cousin that eats sand and no one will talk about in polite company. Enjoy.











































Please note that this picture was cut off and that is the spider pope and not the spider pop. Though the spider pop could work too...








So yeah, that's a sampling of my poorly drawn MS paint art. I figure if Andy Warhol can piss on some canvases and become a legend, I can doodle a penguin challenging the validity of the Arthurian legend for funsies.