Since you, my adoring fans, seem to LOVE it when I post about useless crap, I'm going to make an article about who you should NEVER see a movie with. All profiles are based off of stereotypes.
14 year olds:
I don't think I even needed to tell you guys this one, since it's pretty much common knowledge by now. I know we've all been to a movie theater, and sat a little too close to the stupid shit-head 14 year olds. The movie starts, and they wont shut up, and they keep throwing popcorn at the old guy who's been sleeping in the theater for a few days now. It's always hard to resist murdering them, but quite often we reflect on ourselves at that age, and decide to be non-violent. I do not have this problem. I was never 14. I was 13 for two years, and then I was 15 one day.
Stereotypical minorities:
Seriously, no matter what stereotype the represent, they WILL annoy you during a movie. It doesn't matter if he's "only half jewish", he's still going to piss you off. Minorities in general just piss me right off though. Man, I'm a racist. :(
Mentally Challenged People:
I'm not kidding. My cousin, who had downs syndrome, is either autistic, or he's been pretending to be retarded for 13 years. I saw the movie Iron Man with him yesterday, and within 3 minutes of the movie, he loudly predicted the entire story-line 100% accurately. He also managed to do this during War of The Worlds. I don't know exactly how was so elitely trained to predict movies, but it's fucking terrible.
Photographers:
Shut the fuck up. I don't care what kind of lens this is using, I don't give a shit about the filter, fuck you. Photographers have this urge to inform you of everything that is even slightly relevant to them. If you've got a few hours, mention Hiroshima to a photographer.
I love you all.
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At least his c-blog is funny at times
But to be brutally honest, if someone with Aspergers is in the same theater as you, thing can get funny. For example, one of them repeatedly yelled during Spiderman, "I WANT TO FUCK MARY JANE." With someone near them explaining to nearby parents what was going on.
I was 14 and wasn't a jackass throwing popcorn or making noise in the theater. Maybe cause I had more sense to get my money's worth even if the movie sucked.
and as for Alpha's comment, I agree. Movie theaters are pretty much dead. With tickets costing 10 bucks regular price and matinee being like...7 bucks now. Plus movie's coming out months after they hit theaters instead of a year later.
The worst for me above all others is the people (and you fucking know who you are) who are incapable of chewing popcorn with their mouths closed. Its not so bad when you go to big action flicks like Die Hard 4 where you can't hear much other than the action on the screen but during dramas like No Country For Old Men when their is really intense drama going on with silent pauses and all you hear is...
*CRUNCH... crunch crunch crunch crunch... CRUNCH ...crunch crunch crunch*
...it makes me want to punch babies. Bunch of slack jawed chewing inconsiderate fucktards should all die a slow and painful death. Its not that hard to chew with your mouth closed, it really isn't. This will drive me to murder as I get older and older I swear to the almighty above.