I am pretty awesome, I'm a nice guy. I actually just lied to you, right to your stupid face. I bet you hate me. Stop reading this, I'm wasting your time.
Anyways, I'm a laid-back guy, with a sense of humor, and I love doing what I do. Which happens to be nothing. When I'm not doing nothing (DOUBLE NEGATIVE) I'm busy doing things that aren't important; like gaming!
I love Devil May Cry, and sometimes I cry when a great comes out on PC. I'm not a very good PC gamer, and my PC runs Crysis only on low (Barely, it crashes every 3 minutes).
If you're showing an interest in anything I type, feedback is fantastic. I'll do my best to waste my time as well as yours, just drop me a line, and gimme some advice, I have an opinion on everything.
Yes everything. Even what you're thinking right now. I think it's stupid.
I wish for a more complicated Drum-set. Since I know a LOT of Rock Band fans, I've been looking into how you can make a more complicated drum set, without complicating and overcrowding the market.
1. Make it an add-on. Make the upgrade peripheral plug into the console via USB FIRST, and then have the drum kit plug into the expansion peripheral. Think of the "Game Genie" during the Sega Genesis days. Sorta like that.
2. The peripheral could be two Hi-Hats, and design it so it fits onto the original drum set. I know it's a lot of drums, but it's an upgrade, and it's not too intrusive to the style of the game. We decided that you could sell the peripheral for about $30 without a large amount of consumer backfire.
3. Add a new instrument: Call it "Advanced Drums" or something similar. This way, you can have all the difficulties of a regular instrument, and work your way up to expert.
4. Make all old songs compatible with "Advanced Drums" via an expansion pack on the "Playstation Store" or the "Live Marketplace". The expansion pack may cost money, and our group decided that $40 was the most that they would pay for the software upgrade. The expansion pack would contain a patch that patches over all downloaded songs, and all the songs that came on the disk originally.
There you have it. I see Rock Band in the same light that you folks do, it's a platform. This is the best idea I've felt I have ever come up with. I want Rock Band to mature as it is, unlike Guitar Hero and others. Using this method of upgrading, you can release Rock Band 2, complete with all the upgraded instruments and "Expansion Packs".
The song list for RB2 could consist of downloadable Rock Band songs. This way, the consumer never feels like too much is being forced upon them, and the old instruments they bought are still relevant.
Look, I'm not huge into hating stuff. However, that doesn't mean I never get angry. Case in point: people with loud pieces of shit on wheels.
You're not fucking awesome, no matter how many spoilers you put on your shitty 1989 Ford piece of shit. In fact, you're a fucking asshole. The next person I see, with a dirty, shitty, and paint-chipped car, with a fucking spoiler on it, is going to have a train drive into their parents.
You know what? My exhaust pipe is just fine, because it doesn't sound like an elephant being kicked in the nuts by a giraffe, only louder. I don't care if it has two pipes, mind doesn't murder the ozone, and I also don't look and sound like a wannabe douchefag. Your car sucks, don't make it louder.
Oh my god. Your rims can fucking spin. If I was a goddamn caveman, I'd be impressed by your amazing use of the wheel. Since I'm only half caveman, I'm not fucking impressed. Especially if you have a shitty car! It's like those stupid fat chicks who wear low cut shirts, hoping you notice their enormous fatty globule ass tits, instead of their beanbag-ass stomachs. I can see your gut, and I'm not impressed! Bitch.
This is the very last thing I hate about car owners:
The sticker with a young mischievous gentleman (Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes), pissing on something the owner of the sticker does not like. Seriously, you're not fucking original. I'm going to get a sticker with Calvin, pissing on Calvin, pissing on a person with a Calvin sticker.
Well, since there is no law against it, I'm posting a blog again. Late nights and painkillers make me feel like writing, and you guys always seem to listen! I'm gonna tell you what games I think are in need of a sequel. I don't care if you disagree, make your own fucking list. Also, I'm not going to include "Legend of Dragoon" just because I know you guys want me to. Anyways, here is my list:
Megaman Legends What better way to end a trilogy, then to end it with the second entry. The story was left wide-open and unsolvable, and the series ended on a cliffhanger. It's an overlooked series, despite the fact it's the best series ever made. Even better than Super Mario RPG. I went there.
Super Mario RPG Speaking of SMRPG, why the hell isn't there a sequel? It was fucking boss!
Portal More witty writing, more cubes, still no cake. It just works.
Tiny Tank I loved it, you all hated it. Clearly, you have bad taste.
Kinetica Crazy cyborg death racing that defies gravity? I'm in.
Parasite Eve It's coming soon! On your Japanese phone that is. *sigh*
Rival Schools SUCH A GOOD FIGHTING GAME!
Power Stone I loved this game waaay too much.
I give up, I'll edit it later when I remember more. Thanks for reading!
Deep down, all hardcore gamers feel an unbreakable bond towards a certain brand. In the real world, it's called loyalty. In the gamer community, you're a fanboy. It doesn't have to be this way! I'm here to give you some tips on how to shut the hell up and not look like a stupid asshole preaching about the benefits of owning a gamecube, and how Xbox Live is run by Bin Laden. We are all fanboys, but there are those that can keep our bias under control. We all have urges to be ignorant, but we rarely fall victim to those urges. You can be a collected fanboy too...
1. Recognize your feelings. When somebody says something negative towards your console, don't act on the impulse to respond quickly and irrationally. This is a life skill that we all must learn to be successful in anything we do. Sit back, and think about the comment. Is it true? Is it accurate? Is this just an opinion? If so, you can kindly place your own counter-agrument without looking like a douche. Observe:
"I personally think that the fee on Xbox Live is stupid. I shouldn't have to pay extra money to play online!"
Disagree? Well that's fine! Don't say this:
"Yeah, well you're a stupid faggot. With exclusives like Gears of War 2 and Allan Wake, your shitty PS3 is a piece of shit and I'm going to stab your face you fuckbag!"
That guy, is clearly a douche, who also can't read. Try this instead:
"Well, I for one am a paying customer for Xbox Live and I find it's worth every penny. It's really a great platform. You don't need to use it, if you don't think it's worth it. Try getting a Wii, or PS3, the online is free."
See? He disagreed, and also made it clear that he is happy with his purchase, and understands that you have your own opinion.
2. Never instigate other gamers.
I know it's hard to be kind to those that weren't kind to you (Speaking of course to PS3 owners about 360 fanboys), but it's not impossible. I own all 3 consoles, and I found that the tremendous amount of hate towards the PS3 was outrageous, and uncalled for. It became a sin to admit you owned one, when in reality, all I sought was a nice place to talk about my PS3. If everyone would just be more understanding and less offensive when attacking certain consoles, people wouldn't feel the need to get back at each other when their console gets some good news.
Heres the worst one. We've all done it to make our favorite console look better to oblivious people. We make shit up, and no matter how small it is, it's to help our console look better. Once you get busted for doing this, you're a huge douchebag, and your credibility is often blown. This is the number one reason people hate gamestop. The employees make shit up.
It's not cool. If you were truly happy with your console of choice, why do you lie about it, and make the others sound worse with your stupid lies? You sir, are a boner biting bastard.
4. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
When things to get too heated, and you feel the fanboy urge, just fuck off and make a sandwich or something. If you're a fat nerd, go for a jog. If you're in a wheelchair, too fucking bad for you. Maybe you should have thought of this before you lost your working legs.
Look, these are just tips that can make online communities so much better. To be honest, we all act like savages! Other industries do not have the dedicated audience Video Gaming does. Why should that mean that we have to act barbaric and make shitty one liners about other pieces of plastic while we worship our own? We could just be more productive, less fucking retarded. Sorry for wasting your time.
Since you, my adoring fans, seem to LOVE it when I post about useless crap, I'm going to make an article about who you should NEVER see a movie with. All profiles are based off of stereotypes.
14 year olds:
I don't think I even needed to tell you guys this one, since it's pretty much common knowledge by now. I know we've all been to a movie theater, and sat a little too close to the stupid shit-head 14 year olds. The movie starts, and they wont shut up, and they keep throwing popcorn at the old guy who's been sleeping in the theater for a few days now. It's always hard to resist murdering them, but quite often we reflect on ourselves at that age, and decide to be non-violent. I do not have this problem. I was never 14. I was 13 for two years, and then I was 15 one day.
Seriously, no matter what stereotype the represent, they WILL annoy you during a movie. It doesn't matter if he's "only half jewish", he's still going to piss you off. Minorities in general just piss me right off though. Man, I'm a racist. :(
Mentally Challenged People:
I'm not kidding. My cousin, who had downs syndrome, is either autistic, or he's been pretending to be retarded for 13 years. I saw the movie Iron Man with him yesterday, and within 3 minutes of the movie, he loudly predicted the entire story-line 100% accurately. He also managed to do this during War of The Worlds. I don't know exactly how was so elitely trained to predict movies, but it's fucking terrible.
Shut the fuck up. I don't care what kind of lens this is using, I don't give a shit about the filter, fuck you. Photographers have this urge to inform you of everything that is even slightly relevant to them. If you've got a few hours, mention Hiroshima to a photographer.
Alright, as some of you may know, I wrote some fucking terrible blogs while I was going through a hard phase earlier. You all acted nicely, except some of you. Let me take this time to thank everyone, especially those who took the time to pretend I wasn't just babbling about anything my depressed little mind came across.
I'm sincerely sorry that I wasted your life with my non-sense, and I really appreciate your kindness towards my idiot self. However, there are some users who did not take kindly to my fragile self. I'd like to take this time to extend a nice "FUCK YOU" to Jim Sterling and all of his fake accounts he used to insult my blogs.
So I'm going to get back into the hate groove by telling you some new Jim Sterling facts I happened to dream up earlier today:
Jim Sterling only has two settings: Walk, and Kill.
When Jim goes swimming, he does not get wet. The water gets Jim.
When Jim was born, the only person crying was the doctor. Nobody slaps Jim Sterling.
It takes 16 puppeteers to make Jim smile, but only 8 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Jim Sterling is only man to have beaten reality. Jesus came close, but died on the last boss.
Jim Sterling recently trademarked the word "Trademark", rendering all other patents useless.
Jim Sterling wasn't born. He was forged.
Jim Sterling once yelled "FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER" at Stephen Hawking. He hasn't moved since.