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Contra 4 is manly as hell
NsOmNiA91130 | 10:10 PM on 11.18.2007 7 comments




Seriously. Muscular guys with huge guns blowing the crap out of aliens and mercenaries, all the while coolly dodging bullets. The only way this could have been more manly is if the main character was Duke Nukem. Seriously, just reading the word "Contra" deepens your voice and makes you grow chest hair. Even you, electro lemon.

But, the game. First, it's everything a true sequel to Contra III could be. The dual screen "oh dear god where did tha- oh, the top screen" thing is a bit difficult at first, but once you get it, your're on your way to pure man. The level design is excellent as well, and the base hallways are now in THREE DIMENSIONS, making it a bit easier to judge distances. Also, there's an upgrade system that gives you successively stronger weapons as you collect them. For instance, first you would start with a simple machine gun, but eventually, you get giant double-shot balls of death.

If you are in fact not manly enough to play this manly game, I've included a handy pocket reference guide, fresh off of Google.



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6 comments | showing # 1 to 6

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EternalDarkWing's Destructoid Blog
"coolly"...?
NsOmNiA91130's Destructoid Blog
It's what Firefox spell check said was correct.
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
Another way it could be more manly is if instead of shooting aliens they were slapping women.
NsOmNiA91130's Destructoid Blog
Why would the women be in a forest, though? They should be in the kitchen where they belong >_>
Cutie Honey's Destructoid Blog
Contra is MANLY, old school 80s manly.
Well, until you earn the two hidden ladies.
SourGr8pes's Destructoid Blog
Are there sufficient explosions and/or obscenity or tits?

Man Law mandates require that a manly feature should have X amount of explosions, whereas X = A Fuckload.


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