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3:19 PM on 03.08.2010

The Final Shitantasy

Well Final Fantasy XIII is released tomorrow and I can't wait to play it... maybe.

I've decided to show the shit things about each Final Fantasy.

Final Fantasy

The crap things about this one are the lack of real characters and good plot. Seriously you make four characters name all of them "Ass" or "Gay" or "Fuk" and proceed to go kill a knight who wants to knock you down. Then after some dungeons you fight Chaos and you win. NOW PISS OFF AND PLAY THE SECOND ONE!

Final Fantasy II

This one actually had some characters and a plot that always makes me think of Star Wars, yknow with rebels and shit and a bad guy with the evilness of Darth Vader. The only crap thing was the god damn weapon leveling thing which in my opinion sucked balls.

Final Fantasy III

I liked this one despite the crappy last boss the "Cloud of Darkness" I kinda thought that killing Xande would be enough but then this bitch ruins it all! But damn I would bump her if she looked the way she did in Dissidia.

Final Fantasy IV

This had a proper plot and some awesome characters, of which I all named "Ass" for the lulz. This introduced the ATB battle system which was simply a polished way of saying "wait while this annoying bar fills up then attack, then wait again and again and again until this Goblin is dead" it wasn't that bad but it certainly wasn't the best.

Final Fantasy V

That is all.

Final Fantasy VI

The first Final Fantasy to have a woman as the leading main character. The only thing I hated was that Espers made you learn magic which if you think about it, took away the magic of Terra and Celes being the only magic users in the game. Plus am I the only person that thinks that Kefka is a complete ripoff of The Joker from Batman.

Final Fantasy VII

I'm scared to actually write anything or the fans will rip me apart limb from limb. Materia was pretty cool. However stupid depressed Cloud Strife was not.

Final Fantasy VIII

I actually never got very far in this one because of the annoying Draw thing to get magic. The game actually forced me to grind for magic just to stay alive. Not Cool.

Final Fantasy IX

Perfect nothing wrong with IX at all!

Final Fantasy X

Seems like an on-rails RPG to me all you do is follow a path and fight until you reach the end of the path and win.

Final Fantasy XI

XI is sort of different from the rest of the series. Its like your incredibly hot cousin that you would totally do but wont cause thats your cousin and that is wrong. All you really do in XI is grind so not much to say really.

Final Fantasy XII

Fucking Vaan, Fucking Vaan and Fucking Gambits! I hates this, it failed I wish it never happened! Leave XII! Just LEAVE! Just GO!

This shows that I hated some things from the Final Fantasy's and hated a few as well so when your playing Final Fantasy XIII and you hate something dont go Fucking Crazy. Because every Final Fantasy has a flaw except IX that one rocks!   read

2:31 AM on 02.13.2010

An In-Depth Review: PONG

Dont worry Im not actually going to review Pong i just need to get my hands on Bully, Persona 2 or
Sonic CD. But until then, I'll review a game with one of the greatest plots and memorable characters, Pong.

Who the hell hasn't played Pong it's one of the finest games of 1972!

System: Arcade, Atari and the set of That 70's Show
Price: N/A
Released: 1972

The Plot: While Pong doesn't reveal a lot of the plot (probably because it's to difficult for the Average Human to comprehend) I think the plot is about two super dark warriors shooting hadokens at each other to try and summon Chuck Norris... maybe.

Characters: There are two main characters in Pong you play as P1 and you must fight against P2. Whoever shoots the most Hadokens that pass the player gains 1 dollar or something. The P2 is obviously out to destroy the world and you want revenge because he killed your family. I could say a lot more but it would take up pages and pages and i dont have that much time.

Gameplay: Pong was one of the first real time action RPGs. ("How can that be it makes no sense you might say") but I doubt you could prove me wrong because I played and completed the game. Anyway all there is to it is deflecting a hadoken and P2 doing the same. The game ends when Chuck Norris is summoned or when you get the secret ending, which I dont know how to get yet.

Conclusion: Well Pong obviously deserves a 10/10 for superb gameplay, characters and a compelling plot.

Verdict: 10/10   read

3:48 PM on 02.12.2010

Your Classics

Post any classic game you can think off here and ill review it this is for games created before 2006. This is my first blog so I have no idea what to do as I fail at the Internet. It can be a game none has ever heard of or the worst game in the world i dont care as i have nothing better to do!

Well any requests welcome, come on be mean!   read

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