The Beginning of Persona 2 - Destructoid

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11:02 AM on 03.29.2010

Since I can't wait for Persona 5 even though its just been announced, I decided to play Persona 2 Innocent
Sin and Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey. I am enjoying both, but for some reason I suck more than a $1 hooker at Persona 2. I decided to stop playing it and continue when I have completed Strange Journey. However while playing Persona 2 I realized that this game could teach teens these days some important life lessons. Also note that this very serious

Persona 2 Teaches your Kids how to use there Education

At the start of Persona 2 you are given the option of actually choosing where to take your education. You can either stay at school to learn some more or piss off and become some guy that spends most of his time being unemployed and playing video games for the rest of his life. Of course I have no idea if this actually makes any difference to the game as I am too lazy to go find out.

Persona 2 Teaches Kids about Sunbeds and not to use Them

Persona 2 was released 1999 in Japan and even then it was telling kids and adults not to use sunbeds. Sunbeds can cause burned skin, which can then lead to skin cancer, but only recently have people in the UK started bitching about how too many teens use them. Maybe if Innocent Sin was released outside of Japan not as much people would have had skin cancer. Proof that ATLUS games CAN SAVE LIFES.

Even hot girls in Persona 2 aren't using sunbeds.

Clearly the other side effects of using Sunbeds, hitting on school kids.

Persona 2 Teaches Kids not to Become Fat

Being fat is not only unattractive but it means that your dreams of becoming an assassin or like Solid Snake will never come true. Teens should realize that being fat IS A BAD THING. Seriously most people in Japan aren't that fat and I have a feeling that its because of this game.

Persona 2 Teaches Kids not to Smoke

Kids in the UK smoke. OK, they just do. Why the hell do they do that? I have no idea. If only they knew that if you smoke you will never be able to run again. EVER. Why is there no sprint button in the Metal Gear Series, because Snake smokes, but Snake is a badass so it evens out. If only we knew... if only..

In Conclusion
If Persona 2 Innocent Sin was released outside of Japan we may have been able to achieve world peace and become the healthiest people we can be. Remember though these are only a few of the life lessons that Persona 2 can teach you. This version also has a boss were you fight against Hitler, which proves that Hitler was not only a bad guy, but a weak pussy who couldn't kill some Japanese School Kids.

I hope that you enjoyed this because it is the first C-Blog that I have written that isn't completely trying make fun of something.
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