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Oh, hi there. Didn’t see you enter. Anyways, welcome to my humble little blog. For those of you not familiar with who I am, the name’s Brian. I’m 24 years old and hail from Findlay, Ohio. I work at the local newspaper here as a copy editor, putting my four long years of college to actual use. Kind of. I think.

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Army of Two criticized for "homosexual encounters"
Brian Szabelski | 8:36 PM on 12.03.2008 18 comments




Ah, it's that time of the year again. The time when all the nutjobs come out with their cautionary lists of games you should not buy your kids, for one reason or another. Well, we've got another one, this time from The Timothy Plan, a Florida investment firm which bills itself as "conservative Christian." They have a list of the 30 "most offensive" video games this holiday season, and a lot of familiar games are on the list: Devil May Cry 4 is demonic, GTA IV is all that's wrong with the world, etc. There's quite a few surprises, though, and perhaps no game's inclusion is more surprising than EA's Army of Two. Well, not surprising that it made the list, but why it made the list.

Here's what they had to say about that game:

"Army of Two: Homosexual Encounters: ...Somewhat homo-erotic undertones between the two main characters are present."

... Of all the things to criticize Army of Two over... you picked THIS?!?! This is the first time I have ever heard this complaint about Army of Two. I mean, had they talked about the violence, it would have been sensible, but "homosexual encounters?" Does that count for GTA IV, too, because of Bernie's storyline? Or Team Fortress 2 and its epic love tale between the Heavy and Medic? Someone think of the children!!!! THE CHILDREN!!!!

Seriously, though, this is an incredibly odd thing to be upset over, especially since I don't recall said "homosexual encounters" in the game. I guess they must be upset about the Wii and it's homo-erotic undertones, too?



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15 comments | showing # 1 to 15
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Scrixx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 21:04
Scrixx
Give all religious people of homo-erotic games from Japan for Christmas. I want to see their impressions.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 21:17
taumpytears
Penny Arcade called this shit a while ago...
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 21:23
MrSadistic
I'm pretty sure this is only gonna end horribly with some (more?) Rule 34 pics.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 21:38
king3vbo
Rule 34 NOW
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 21:38
garison
Damn conservative Christians, they probably never even played the game. And even if the two main characters were gay, why would that be different than if one of the characters was a woman. Just because there is two guys hanging working with each other as a team, they automatically assume they are gay? As long as it doesn't show any graphic sex, they shouldn't have a problem with the game.

Also, that game is very average. I regret spending $65 on it.
N9volt's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 22:58
N9volt
Fire up photoshop everyone!
MrPeenie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 23:02
MrPeenie
That really IS infuriating.
psycho terror2's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/03/2008 23:14
psycho terror2
if you played army of two, and found homosexual undertones, the chances are that you yourself are gay for the main characters.

someone please keep Timothy Plan away from the children.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 02:20
MechaMonkey
I'll never fist bump again.
kepler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 04:48
kepler
Gay men dress like that?
ParaParaKing's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 06:21
ParaParaKing
Christians and their faith in their false god makes me upset.
Still I don't publish a list about it.
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 10:54
MaxVest
To be fair to The Timothy Plan (which I really wish you all would stop forcing me to do), the full list of grievances against Army of Two includes violence and language in addition to flirtosterone. The guide is offline at the moment, or I'd provide a quote.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 15:46
Sharpless
I lawled when I read this. I bet these same people criticized Lord of the Rings for Sam and Frodo's graphic sexual encounters.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/04/2008 20:18
Darren Nakamura
Clearly you missed the sodomy quick time event. It was the only redeeming part of the game.
AClockWorkMelon's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/06/2008 10:21
AClockWorkMelon
Actually- as much as I hate the people who made the list you're mentioning... I've always said that I've noticed a homosexual... erm, bond, between the two main characters of Army of Two.

I mean, come on. They've got so much going for them, but they can't afford two parachutes. Uh huh.
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