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Hello. Welcome to my blog. Have a goddamn seat.

My name's Dan. I joined the Destructoid Forums four years ago. I'm a moderator there now. Come down and say things to us. You'll float, too.

An artist's rendition of my "Rape Genie" persona

"Nihil" is the pseudonym I use for writing / gaming on the internet. I came across Destructoid by searching for information on Way of the Samurai 3. Tubatic had the most comprehensive coverage on it I'd seen anywhere.

For that, and for leading me to this community that has changed the course of my life, I thank him.

I started gaming in kindergarten, when the most advanced piece of hardware I could get my hands on was a black plastic handle and an orange button attached to a brick. I used it to blow up little squares on a black and white television screen. A couple years later, I was molested by the girl next door after beating her copy of The Legend of Zelda. I have mixed feelings about the experience.

Unfortunately, over the years, my ability to maintain a passion for games has waned (as in being able to play through them start-to-finish). This is due to various reasons and issues that would be too emo to get into at this juncture. But even though my passion has waned, my interest in them has not, thanks in great deal to the extraordinary friends I've made during my stay here.

Laminated avatar from PAX Mom Elsa

Handcrafted avy from forum Mom Zodiac Eclipse

I am an element of Dtoid according to professor Corduroy Turtle

Friday Night Fight banner Me by Mikey Turvey

Dtoid Card: Rebirthening Edition by Last Scion, Phil, and Marche100

Official Destructoid Chess Club
CyricZ lets my avatar get touched "down there"
Career Interview w/ Occam's
C-Blog Interview
MassDebatoid: Zombies Overused?, Best Platform for Home Gaming? (RESULTS)
A Present From PAX + Ronathon
SeptemBEARD 2010

Secret Moon Base
Radio Destructoid

You Sick People
Epinephrine Postscript
...To Be Dark
PAX 2011: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
The Fall of a Hardcore Gamer
10 Things
After The Fall
Lurk Mode: Disengaged

More Than Just Noise

Date Rape
Just Let Me Love Ya
Adopt My Avatar
100% Objective Review

-ISMS... with Me: Random and possibly entertaining musings on video games and various bullshit.
Dan Carterisms...


Player Profile
Xbox LIVE:Nihil xInfernum
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How this isn't already a thing, I'm not entirely sure. I could go on and blame the electronic video games that have ruined young minds with their instant gratification head-shots, grinding for level ups, 3D cinematics, and pretty colors. But I'm not going to, because you either already know what I'm getting at or don't care. As a matter of fact, even I don't care about that. Play what makes you happy. But don't tell me we don't have gamers that like to keep it old-school. Like, real old-school. So old that I don't have any business acting like I know what I'm talking about here.

Real talk; I don't.

Chess has been called the "thinking man's game". A game for men that value intellectual tenacity and have nothing better to do with their time. When you visualize two people playing chess, they're often geezers sitting in a park in the middle of the afternoon. Wasting away from leprosy and necrosis before your eyes.

not the most enticing image

If you're vaguely familiar with what chess looks like on the opposite end of the spectrum, with young men wearing button-up shirts tucked into corduroy pants, it might seem like... Well, to put it in fightan terms, it's a bit like watching a pro MvC 2 or 3 match - You can't really tell what's going on, but if you could, you might feel a lot cooler than you do. And you would, if you were that good at it, too.

But you don't have time for that shit.

In the middle lies a nice, comfy spot for the rest of us, who kinda know how to play and play to win, but don't really care if we lose. We learn tricks and strategies that crumble under someone who actually knows what they're doing. And occasionally, that someone is us. I aim to bring that sweet spot here in the form of DESTRUCTOID CHESS CLUB. Mainly, because nobody else is doing it.

SHAME on you for making me do this.

At any rate, if you're too afraid to make the dark trek into the forums, here is the current club member list:

Member - website and/or mobile app (id)
Nihil - Chess.com (dcnihil)
Gatsby - Chess Time (Gats)
OpiumHerz - Chess.com
Phil - Chess.com/Chess Time (MikeMcPhil)
CornflakeJustice - Chess.com/Chess Time
Obstratis - Chess.com/Chess Time
nmcmahan52 - Chess.com/Chess Time
AboveUp - Chess.com
smurfee_mcgee - Chess.com
pk fire - Chess.com/Chess Time (pk_fire12/pk_fire)
VagrantHige - Chess.com/Chess Time
Last Scion of the House of Blue Lions - Chess.com (True_Blue_Lion)
ZombiePlatypus - Chess Time
EAPidgeon - Chess.com
Corduroy Turtle?

Go sign up somewhere (preferably chess.com), then come back here to post your id, and I'll add you to the list!

The first official tournament is on the horizon, and matches will be held by players on Chess.com, where the games are turn-based with a 3-day average time limit. So even if you live in the future, you don't have an excuse. Wins/losses/trash-talk will be posted in a dedicated tournament thread and maybe, maybe, I'll do a wrap up/results blog.

As our dearly beloved Community Director and Master of Bonermonies has mentioned, this was a byproduct of brainstorming to get people back into creating and joining tournaments, no matter the genre of game. But more importantly, it's the fastest way for me to score the Bison Badge. If I can't have Beedog, then Bison will suffice.

we hardly knew ye...

But being that there's been legit interest and games already being played between members because of it, I decree that it is now, a thing. Bitches.


I played a video game and now I'm going to review that game.

I played Grand Theft Auto 5. You don't need to go back and play the first Grand Theft Auto in order to play this one. Grand Theft Auto 5 is an action game, where you play as three men who are criminals. You can switch between them, but there is no difference in how they play. Sometimes the game forces you to switch and you have to deal with that if you didn't want to switch.

Sometimes you have to watch cut-scenes, but you can skip them, which is convenient when you just want to play the game. If you like watching cut-scenes, don't press the button that makes the game skip them. You have been warned.

In Grand Theft Auto 5, when you watch the cut-scenes, the three criminal men say things and kill people.

In Grand Theft Auto 5, when you play the game, you can do many things, like; rob banks, drive cars, shoot guns, watch strippers dance in strip clubs, parachute, swim in the ocean, and ride bicycles, watch movies, beat innocent bystanders to death, participate in the stock market, fly jets and helicopters, lose health by running too much, buy real estate, tow cars to an impound, play tennis, regain health by having sex with prostitutes, and much more.

If you're interested in any or all of the activities I listed above, you may want to consider playing the game. If you're not interested, I recommend avoiding it.

There Are Lizards Eating Your Legs

6:01 AM on 08.14.2013

Although my free time on Wednesdays are gone, the spirit of HUMP DAY HAVOC lives on!

For those of you who aren't available for Friday Night Fights or Weekend Warriors, this is also a thing you can totally do, if you're hip and like playing games with other people in the middle of the week. I remember being that hip...

Oh right, if you're going to host a game, say so in the comments or here, in the following format:


I'm not as professional as those other guys with their fancy section headers and video game references, but I know how to compose a list. It's not a big one, but it's there.

Payday 2
5-6 EST
Steam ID: Wraith

I played the first Payday once. It was aight. I think I liked the music more, though.

Til next Hump Day, this is Nihil, your new forums ninja insomniac mod, signing the F off this B.

A little thought experiment I've been kicking around.

In recent times, the GAMER classification of geek has become a bit of a joke unto itself, depending on who you ask. There was a bit I heard the other day (I can't remember for the life of me where), where a nerd was complaining about dudes who only play CoD and NFL calling themselves "gamers". Now, for my personal history with the label, I used to take pride in it, because I was teh hxc gamer, and by that, I mean I played almost everything, not just games rated M.

But when Modern Warfare hit the scene (to be honest, for me it kinda started with Counterstrike), I think everyone who shared my sentiments at the time knew change was in the air for the industry. Everyone and their grandma's dog who would say outright, "Oh yeah, I play video games" was only playing MW. Some guys only play CoD to relax after a stressful day. I gotta be honest, I don't understand it.

This isn't a dig at the CoD games, even though I find them boring as fuck all. I know they're good for what they are. I think I might've had fun playing them once or twice, with people I knew. But as a long-time player, I can't help but think it was detrimental to developers who had something else great in mind, before publishers wanted to jump on the make-it-a-twitch-shooter bandwagon.

And I often wonder what it'd be like now if MW2 didn't exist or wasn't as popular (again, this isn't a dig, just a thought experiment). Because I remember a time before then, when I still wasn't satisfied with the industry as a whole, but it didn't feel as stifled. Then I think, CoD players don't even really care, because they have their game that they play all the time, and everyone else plays it, and it's going to keep getting new installments and DLC probably til the end of time.

But if you don't like CoD that much, replace it with something you actually like. Not in the way of it suddenly becoming popular now, I mean imagine if it were already as popular as Blops or Battlefield is at this point, after years of exposure and general acceptance in pop culture. What would you want it to be?

I know for some of you, that game would be Dark Souls, even though it's already gained quite a bit of popularity. And even though it's pretty unrealistic that it would ever get as big as CoD, I want you to imagine what it'd be like if it were. Everyone's fucking playing it. How big of a difference on the media would it make? Would it feel unnatural that it's so popular? Would you get all hipster and feel that it isn't for you anymore? Girlfriends complaining that their boyfriends play it too much. Those same girlfriends playing it because they're afraid of being single or end up actually liking it.

CCG versions, movie deal rumors, the works. I know there are a few genres this experiment doesn't really work for. Jrpg's are one example. But if it is the game you would've liked to see become popular, in lieu of military FPS's, go ahead and think about how much brighter a world it'd be if it were.

3:22 PM on 07.28.2013

It's the last day of the month. It quite possibly could be the last day of the year. You don't know. How many apocalypses were we supposed to have? Six? More? Maybe they're just late. Maybe they're having a poker game, and whoever wins gets to end Humanity.

And the blinds are currently at infinity +2 and infinity +1. You can't wait forever.

I mean, technically, you could. But you shouldn't.

For those of us that aren't available for FNF or Weekend Warriors, Wednesday is our chance to shine, baby. But if you don't wanna shine, you can play video games instead. Join us or post your own game, system, time of day, and gamer id for people to see and be intrigued. Like this:

What: Full House Poker/SF3/Monaco
Where: 360
When: 1pm PST
Who: Nihil xInfernum

Let us know in the comments below, or HERE.

Remember, if you don't act now, you may regret it later. Because apocalypse.

Danny McBride will be there. It says so on the poster.

For the past couple of months, I've been working two jobs - one during the week and one during the weekend. The one during the weekend is a twelve hour shift that starts in the afternoon, which means I can't fight at night on Fridays, and I usually sleep-in like a warrior Saturdays and Sundays.

So I was an unhappy panda, until I saw that commercial...

By the Gods, I am genius.

If you're one of those people that doesn't GET IT, this is a mid-week meet&play for those of us that aren't available for FNF or Weekend Warriors, but don't want to be like "Hey guys, I'm playing this thing. Please play with me, y'know whenever. I mean, you don't have to, if you don't wa... No? Okay..."

Now you can be all like, "Yo, Dawg, you missed it. We made brain porn, on the real. Shit was cray. Don't worry tho, we do dis erry wed-nes-day. Hashtag cumgitsum."

So for the past couple weeks, I've been playing Monaco on the 360 in the afternoon and at night. I'll be continuing to do that. I'm also up for SF3: 3S because fitans and it was on sale last week.

Same deal as the other meet-ups, you can say what you'll be playing on Wednesday, on what, at what time, with your gamer id, either in THE FORUMS or here in the comments like this:

WAT: Monaco/Street Fighter 3
WARE: 360
WIN: 1pm PST
BUTTS: Nihil xInfernum

You know, the usual. ChillyBilly has been kind enough to spread the word via twitter, so if you're here from twitter, thank him, not me, because I'm just barely not lazy enough to do this blog.

Will this take off? Prolly not. But you have to admit; that's damn clever commercial. Also, Turkish Silvers aren't half bad.