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About


Started gaming in kindergarten, when the most advanced piece of hardware I could get my hands on was a black plastic handle and an orange button attached to a brick. I used it to blow up little squares on a black and white television screen. A couple years later, I was molested by the girl next door after beating her copy of The Legend of Zelda. I have mixed feelings about the experience.

Unfortunately, over the years, my ability to maintain a passion for games has waned (as in being able to play through them start-to-finish). This is due to various reasons and issues that would be too emo to get into at this juncture. But suffice to say, though my passion has waned, my interest in them has not, as evidenced by my being here.







Nihil (or Nils) is the pseudonym I currently use for writing and gaming on the internet. I came across the Destructoid website by searching for information on Way of the Samurai 3. Tubatic pretty much has the most comprehensive coverage on it I've seen anywhere. And for that, and the other thing, I thank him.

It's a good game, btw.

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Sometimes I miss playing a sociopath enveloped by the violence and chaos of his own mind. It's as much a mental experience as it is a visceral one. It speaks to the darker side of the human spirit, and it speaks to mine. I'll get behind any story that taps into the true nature of horror, especially when it utilizes a medium as a conduit for the surreal - the extent of which being only limited by the resourcefulness of its crafters. Two games that I hold dear portray this idea well: Manhunt and The Suffering.




Two men sentenced to death for violent murders they (maybe) have committed, given a second chance at freedom. For the ordeal they have to go through in order to obtain it, they might as well have been executed... and then made to fight out of Hell itself. They're made to spill even more blood than they ever possibly could in the outside world. So much that it would be a fool's notion to think redemption for their past crimes isn't out of the question. But that's not what they're in their predicaments for, is it? They're being tested.

As much humanity they're willing to sacrifice just to survive; how much of their environment is a product of their own madness? And how much of their madness a product of their environment? Is it possible to be a killer with a heart of gold? Or does true empathy for your victims lie in the void?

If you're in France, do you do as the French do? Of course in this case, France being Hell and the French being every demon and lunatic out to take the one thing you have left that's worth fighting for. Is it fear and adrenaline that drives you? Or does the prospect of creating and reveling in bloody anarchy get you wet in the pants?

But most importantly: Do you feel deserving of it; do you even care? Or will you fight to free yourself from violence before it consumes you?



It's grisly. It's unrelenting. The atmosphere is just as oppressive, as it is full of dread. But it's not without choice. It's not without a glimmer of hope and goodwill. A chance to end the suffering - on your own terms.

No rest for the damned.



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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


Suffering was so fucked up. Good game though!
What the fuck was that first picture?
@ rexwolf

The Creeper - the manifestation of Baltimore's history of prostitution and violent history towards women. He appears in the second game.
I loved Manhunt...for a while anyways. Then it became repetitive...and it was hard as fuck. The atmosphere and kills were fucking wicked. I never played The Suffering though. I see it's for Xbox so perhaps I should track that down.

Also, best blog header ever.
Both the games you mentioned are among my favorites. I guess I'm a LITTLE bit on the freaky side of being a gore-hound as I just love violence and gore in video games and/or movies.
But as you say, the games portray the dark side of humanity with a small window of hope and light just glimmering in the distance. Although in Manhunt I'd say the window is really, very small.

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