Started gaming in kindergarten, when the most advanced piece of hardware I could get my hands on was a black plastic handle and an orange button attached to a brick. I used it to blow up little squares on a black and white television screen. A couple years later, I was molested by the girl next door after beating her copy of The Legend of Zelda. I have mixed feelings about the experience.
Unfortunately, over the years, my ability to maintain a passion for games has waned (as in being able to play through them start-to-finish). This is due to various reasons and issues that would be too emo to get into at this juncture. But suffice to say, though my passion has waned, my interest in them has not, as evidenced by my being here.
Nihil (or Nils) is the pseudonym I currently use for writing and gaming on the internet. I came across the Destructoid website by searching for information on Way of the Samurai 3. Tubatic pretty much has the most comprehensive coverage on it I've seen anywhere. And for that, and the other thing, I thank him.
Well, it's happened. I knew it was a matter of time, and also at a time that I was acutally trying to beat some fuckin games. And history repeats itself - though in a less traumatizing fashion...
In the days of yore - or whatever - when I actually beat games not long after starting them, I was somewhat an avid critic of things I watched and played. Or at least, I was starting to be, because I was realizing what exactly made good/bad movies/games tick, like most of us do when our perceptions change and mature like a fine wine. Analyzing became second nature to me, and I also followed news. I began coding a crappy website and everything when it occurred to me that I should build a portfolio of sorts since people on the internet seemed to really like my stuff. People off the internet couldn't have given a fuck less. Funny how that works.
But I liked reviewing gaming more than movies since it was still this budding culture, and industry, and art form. You couldn't compare new things to what came before because it was evolving with each succeeding generation. Not like film, where you could be a snob because you watched everything before 1988 and thought nothing/nobody was original anymore. Even though the two mediums where becoming so similar, gaming felt a little untouched, a little untrod. Sure there where major websites like IGN, Gamespot and so on, who were doing decent enough jobs, but anyone following game criticism and news for the last decade could tell you just how wishy-washy the "journalism" was, which made it a joke in the eyes of "professional" news writers. It was amusing as hell, to me at least; especially when seen through the lenses of Gabe and Tycho at Penny Arcade.
Nonetheless, I wanted to dip my hand into the pot. Start with reviews, then perhaps share my thoughts covering news and industry debacles. I was ready to get things kick-started with Sega's Nightshade for PS2. It looked promising, and I had beaten (and loved the fuck out of) Shinobi earlier, so I'd be able to compare and contrast content. On the very fucking day that I put in that game with the intention of beating and reviewing it for my site, my slim PS2 crashed. I couldn't afford a new one and everyone else I knew had an Xbox. I couldn't believe it. However, I still had the website, which I also posted movie reviews on. I could still do my musings and observations on the industry. Have people leave comments about how awesome I was or was not.
Later that year, the server for my site crashed, erasing everything. No backup. Barely an apology from the host. All my shit, gone, for no good reason.
Couldn't fucking believe it. I had such high hopes, such noble intentions. And it was like the hand of God smacking all of it down. So I said "fuck it" and haven't bothered taking it seriously since. Not that I had planned on doing it again here, but the feeling I have now is very reminiscent. At any rate, I may find time to look up how to fix it, if it can be. But for now, I have this computer, that is of convenient lap size, to do things on. I've been ignoring Steam for too long anyway.
Also worthy of note is the television in the living room is on the fritz, so I can't watch ma onDemand tv showz. So that's awesome. Just when I started really getting into a couple new ones. I don't know if you've heard of this thing called Alphas? It's pretty good. It airs on Syfy, rightfully so, and I hope it gets canceled before things go downhill.
What else... New trailer and gameplay footage of The Secret World has me kinda psyched. Though to be honest, it really looks like this thing only has a 50/50 shot of being decently novel or utter rubbish. The best thing it has going for it is its whole presentation and mythos, which is based on every other mythos out there. Investigating urban legends, fighting monsters, looking like a badass. Actually, you know what it reminds me of? Supernatural. I think that's why this MMO announcement in particular has its hooks in me, because that show in it its first few seasons fuckin blew me away with how pitch perfect it was. Equal parts horror, action, and storytelling. And now you're saying I get to play a video game version of that, with my own character? Whose salad do I have to toss?
Unfortunately, presentation isn't everything for a game. The in-game video I've seen made the gameplay seem a bit... wonky. Again, I dunno if that's good or really bad. But betas are coming, so hopefully way more light will be shed on it then.
Anyway, I'm unna go dream about dead babies and Nathan Fillion and shit.