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Nihil avatar 4:42 AM on 11.25.2013  (server time)
Alright, Nerds. DESTRUCTOID CHESS CLUB Is Now In Session

How this isn't already a thing, I'm not entirely sure. I could go on and blame the electronic video games that have ruined young minds with their instant gratification head-shots, grinding for level ups, 3D cinematics, and pretty colors. But I'm not going to, because you either already know what I'm getting at or don't care. As a matter of fact, even I don't care about that. Play what makes you happy. But don't tell me we don't have gamers that like to keep it old-school. Like, real old-school. So old that I don't have any business acting like I know what I'm talking about here.

Real talk; I don't.

Chess has been called the "thinking man's game". A game for men that value intellectual tenacity and have nothing better to do with their time. When you visualize two people playing chess, they're often geezers sitting in a park in the middle of the afternoon. Wasting away from leprosy and necrosis before your eyes.

not the most enticing image

If you're vaguely familiar with what chess looks like on the opposite end of the spectrum, with young men wearing button-up shirts tucked into corduroy pants, it might seem like... Well, to put it in fightan terms, it's a bit like watching a pro MvC 2 or 3 match - You can't really tell what's going on, but if you could, you might feel a lot cooler than you do. And you would, if you were that good at it, too.

But you don't have time for that shit.

In the middle lies a nice, comfy spot for the rest of us, who kinda know how to play and play to win, but don't really care if we lose. We learn tricks and strategies that crumble under someone who actually knows what they're doing. And occasionally, that someone is us. I aim to bring that sweet spot here in the form of DESTRUCTOID CHESS CLUB. Mainly, because nobody else is doing it.

SHAME on you for making me do this.

At any rate, if you're too afraid to make the dark trek into the forums, here is the current club member list:

Member - website and/or mobile app (id)
Nihil - (dcnihil)
Gatsby - Chess Time (Gats)
OpiumHerz -
Phil - Time (MikeMcPhil)
CornflakeJustice - Time
Obstratis - Time
nmcmahan52 - Time
AboveUp -
smurfee_mcgee -
pk fire - Time (pk_fire12/pk_fire)
VagrantHige - Time
Last Scion of the House of Blue Lions - (True_Blue_Lion)
ZombiePlatypus - Chess Time
EAPidgeon -
Corduroy Turtle?

Go sign up somewhere (preferably, then come back here to post your id, and I'll add you to the list!

The first official tournament is on the horizon, and matches will be held by players on, where the games are turn-based with a 3-day average time limit. So even if you live in the future, you don't have an excuse. Wins/losses/trash-talk will be posted in a dedicated tournament thread and maybe, maybe, I'll do a wrap up/results blog.

As our dearly beloved Community Director and Master of Bonermonies has mentioned, this was a byproduct of brainstorming to get people back into creating and joining tournaments, no matter the genre of game. But more importantly, it's the fastest way for me to score the Bison Badge. If I can't have Beedog, then Bison will suffice.

we hardly knew ye...

But being that there's been legit interest and games already being played between members because of it, I decree that it is now, a thing. Bitches.


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