I come bearing gifts with spread arms and legs! Don't be filthy, it's an innocent gesture.

New private messaging system

You can now send PMs to Dtoiders that don't have forum accounts. You'll spot the new PM buttons next to the comments of a user or on the new top-right section of their cblogs. You can also send them with a challenge to play a game, which sends a special type of PM with suggested timestamps and an RSVP link. Outbound PMs appear in the new "inbox" link at the top of the page and the person you PM'd gets an email as well.

New Cblog layout

Notice the buttons on the top right of my blog header? How about the new tabs below, like the "my comments" one? You can now stalk each other more easily. Enjoy!

James: Today I was moved to RealityKings. Its a little more intense than working for Fling, which was the quasi-dating thing I signed up for. The guy sitting next to me does Flash design and all he does is pull images and videos of the shit.

Niero: You know, I'm a little hesitant to work for porn. Aside from the obvious reasons, how are you supposed to enjoy porn in your home after you work in it all day?

James: Yeah, everyone there is just like "it's just porn, whatever". I guess I'll get used to it.

Niero: And you'll come home and have to resort to porn about animals in food costumes fisting each other, as the normal porn will have no effect on you whatsoever.

James: Hah! Yeah, just like that Southpark episode. Don't be alarmed if I start bringing Japanese girls over to shit on my chest and torture me.

Niero: Speaking of Japanese weird shit, look at this game I just got. It's called Bobobo-bo-bobobo. Its based on a Shonen Jump manga and anime.

James: (puzzling over the weird box) What the fuck is this? What kind of weird studio makes this?





Niero: Hudson, same guys that do Bomberman. This afro guy walks facing the screen through trees as bad guys jump out of the trees to get him. You have to fend them off using these giant nose hairs, one per analog stick. Sometimes your friends are trapped in crates. If you rescue them they dance behind you. The soundtrack is amazing.

James: Didn't you have another game like this with Maracas?

Niero: Samba de Amigo! I have it right there. That game's very different though. Well, also different from other games too. I gravitate towards this oddball stuff.

James: I remember seeing that when you first got it in all Japanese, you didn't know what the hell was going on but you were enjoying it anyway with all the weir shit on the screen.

Why are you always getting these weird games?

Niero: When you have access to all these games you start looking for the most unusual shit as the normal stuff doesn't hold my attention whatsoever. Careful what you wish for, right?

It's kind of like the porn thing. Same principle.

James: We're lucky. But you know we're both doomed.

Niero: Yup.

Update: The banners were rejected. They asked me to tone it down. Foiled again! Maybe I should just run these on 4chan instead.

I was in New York last week and ran into a guy that runs a popular dating site called /b/ or something like that, the name escapes me. Actually, it's OkCupid. Since we're both independent we thought hey, let's help each other out and run a banner ad trade for each other and see if we can't get our users to give each other's bear aids (tm).

"What the hell kind of banner ads should we run on a dating site?", I pondered.

I know! It should it be about how to meet/scare the ten lovely women that read Destructoid. I can see it now:

"Call Elsa & Atheistium for a good time! -click here-"

Maybe not. Anyway, what I came up with is attached in the gallery below. I hope you're amused and coming over later with the blow torches and chainsaws.

It's comforting to know that when I'm old and look back these years...



I'll have so many great moments to recollect...



and all the people I've met...



some of which were weirder than others, and I mean that in the best way possible ...



other moments just epic and hard to believe 4 years have almost passed since we started ...



and to find real friends I can always rely on when I least expected it...



and feeling indirectly responsible for the formation of others' friendships...



Thanks everyone for making Dtoid what it is.



It's been real.

Ever had your boss wake you up at 4am for no reason, then sporadically interrupt all of your following activities to then only fall asleep -- on top of the checkbook and your notes no less -- at the moment you finally get yourself to your desk? What a dick!

Trivia: Why yes, the ears are removable on the Destructoid helmet!

Mr. Destructoid was last seen mentoring an army of homeless people, offering free Jet Kune Do lessons in Miami's Wynwood warehouse district. (High res pic in the gallery attached, photo by SFX-360)