My wife knows my odd fascination with curious energy drinks; my favorite (at least as far as an oddity is concerned) would the "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart drink I found in a liquor store once.
So know that when she brought home the things I'm about to show you, her intention wasn't to kill me. It's how she shows her love.
OK, so what you're seeing are two energy drinks -- "BadBoy Power Drink" and "World Famous HOOTERS Energy Drink." I know, if I hadn't been able to physically touch these things, I wouldn't believe it either. But I assure you, they're real.
So my dilemma here is, which one do I drink today in order to keep up my energy for the fast-paced world of videogame blogging? That's where you come in. The facts:
- Both are 16 fl oz cans, although the HOOTERS drink claims it's "double size." Does that mean it normally comes in an 8 fl oz can, or did they somehow fit 32 fl oz in what appears to be a 16 fl oz can?
- The BadBoy Power drink claims to be "Energy for the body and mind"; the HOOTERS drink is "Delightfully unrefined energy."
- Both drinks are not recommended for children, diabetics, pregnant women, or persons sensitive to caffeine. I don't fall into any of these categories (as far as I know), so I think I'm safe.
- BadBoy is "formulated to provide key vitamins and amino acids to enhance concentration, performance, and readiness for action"; HOOTERS has a picture of some chick on the can.
- HOOTERS is a proud sponsor of NASCAR Craftstman Truck #7. I have no idea what in the hell that means, but they're very proud of this thing.
- HOOTERS goes out of its way to tell me that it "contains no fruit juice," as if I were expecting it to.
- Both drinks have cleverly named Web sites: www.badboy.com and www.hootersenergydrink.com.
- Both drinks were purchased at Big Lots for 60 cents a piece, and depending on the half-life of these substances, may be expired. If that's something that can even happen.
Alright, so there are your facts. Which one of these should I drink first? The answer can not be "don't drink either of them, because they're bad for you, consider drinking water instead omg do you know how much sugar is in those things!?" Because quite frankly, I don't care.