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I Downloaded Arcania
// Submitted @ 12:12 AM on 09.25.2010
Welcome to a day in the life of a simple shepherd. The original slacker Little Boy Blue sits reclining on his ramshackle abode. Up walks Ivy. She's a broad shouldered wench with the face of a dog's rear end. "My dad would like to have a talk with you." Defiantly, the shepherd jams on the Y button to speed through an otherwise banal dialogue. A quest! You must go to town and talk to Ivy's dad. But, no. Little Boy Blue has other plans, and this is how I spent the time with the Arcania Gothic 4 demo.
Given the control layout. I noticed that the X Button serves as the melee command. Since the shepherd's crook was strapped to his back, I thought it was worth a shot to see if I could swing it around. What came next was a mass murder of my own flock of sheep. Thankfully, it was not a fruitless exercise as I was rewarded with a lamb chop for every felled ungulate. That leads me to believe that Arcania is the work of Satan's right hand game designer. Hilarity ensued when one sheep corpse rolled off a cliff and into the sea water below. The ocean, BTW, only disappeared once as a result of moving the camera around.
The jumping in this game is inhuman and makes you effect a dead-on Spring Heeled Jack. With crook in hand you're ready to wreak havoc in Ivy's hometown. But wait! What if you could jump over mountains? Good news! With your freakish leap you can scale even the steepest rock walls. Now you don't have wall crawling powers like a web head. Satan's game designer also placed convenient invisible walls in-game. But, what of those tempting fences and brick walls in the back of town? Surely those are no obstacle for our intrepid slacker shepherd. Thankfully, you can leap into trees and onto rocks. So, I was able to take the shepherd outside of town into the Arcania demo's own version of the minus world. Now, was I meant to explore the game outside of town in the demo? Maybe. Though, I have yet to progress the story past two conversations cause it's much more fun to do things that the game doesn't want you to do.
I played golf with sea turtles, scaled the highest peak on foot and dove into the ocean from the cliffs. One time, I died and then the shepherd's body jumped from the water in a rag doll's pose like a flying fish. Does this make a good impression for an under-the-radar RPG hit? No. But, I sure hope Two Worlds II can offer slightly better.