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Nekrosys's blog

9:39 PM on 10.05.2015

I'm going to be honest; this is my new favourite line in anything ever. GOTY 2015 and all that. Also cocks: [img][/img]


12:16 AM on 10.05.2015

I think Toko's been fantasising about David Cameron again... [img][/img]


3:26 AM on 08.23.2015

So I should write a negative Quickpost instead? [INSERT ANGRY COMMENT HERE]


6:19 AM on 08.09.2015

Nekro's Obligatory Cat Blog

As some of you are aware, Destructoid has been rolling out some controversial new changes to their Community Blog features. One such feature is to allow users to upvote and - in the future - downvote a blog more than once depending on how many followers said user has.

As such, I felt it was my duty to try and gain as many followers as humanly possible, so I can upvote bloggers that I see as being part of my own personal hugbox more so, and downvote blogs by writers I hold a grudge against to oblivion. Because dammit, I need more power and control over this website.

Now, some of you have already seen SirDavies' blog about Game of Thrones. Really, that blog was just too good. I’m getting a little insecure about my own e-penis. I need more Destructoid popularity. So I’ve quickly thrown together a blog dedicated to rectifying this situation. Am I copying his idea? Fuck yes! But if Electronic Arts has taught me anything, it's that copying your competition is how you become successful.

Since Destructoid now seems to be promoting the idea of half-assing a blog post with their new Quick Posts scheme, I feel that this is the best course of action.

So I came to the conclusion that the one thing more popular than Game of Thrones on the Internet is cats. Naturally, I felt like it was my duty to make a cat blog.

This is Nekro’s Top 10 Cats:

10: Black Hanekawa

Black Hanekawa is a kitty-kittens with a violent streak and is scantily clad. What could go wrong? A lot. But as an avid fan of guro, I felt like it was my duty to add this to my list.


9: These cats right here

These are cats. In underwear. I guess this continues on from Black Hanekawa’s taste in attire. Maybe I have a ‘type’. Who knows?


8: Mac OS X

Apple named their operating systems after cats for a number of years. Therefore, Macs are cats. Or they were cats. Fuck Apple for removing the cats. They suck now. Not the cats, they don’t suck. Though I wouldn’t object if Black Hanekawa sucked me.

Blowjobs. They’re funny.


7: Bayonetta-Kitty

What’s this? Bayonetta and a kitty? Clearly, it deserves a spot on my list.



It’s the adorableness of an anime loli and a cat girl all in one package! This blog needed more lolis and now I have rectified that issue. Good Nekro. Please upvote me 1,000 times over this.


5: This CAT Bulldozer

It’s still a CAT. Therefore, it should be a part of my cat blog.


4: Cat-erpillar

Likewise, caterpillars still have the word “cat” in their name. Therefore, it belongs in my cat blog. It’s still a cat, dammit.


3: Cat Niero

It’s Destructoid’s favourite staff-member-guy! In cat form! Now he’s even more adorable and loveable. We should all hug him and kiss him and never let him go. Kitty-Niero is best Niero.


2: Cat Naoto

I’m including this one so I can gain the approval of GajKnight. Maybe one day, senpai will notice me…


1: Caterpillar Niero

What’s better than a standard Niero? A cat Niero. What’s even better than that? Caterpillar Niero. Fuck everything, I’ve found my new fap material.


5:50 AM on 03.03.2015

Nintendo Announces The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD-II

In a move to be seen as more forward-thinking than other video game publishers, Nintendo has announced that they will be working on a remaster of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD for the Wii U.

“We were sick and tired of criticism from the gaming public claiming that we are behind the times,” Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata explained, “so we decided to look at how other video games publishers are acting. Since HD remasters of HD remasters for more modern consoles seems to be what’s popular, we decided to try our hand at making a HD remaster of a HD remaster for the console that had the previous HD remaster. Only then can we really be the forward-thinking and innovative trendsetters we once were.”

A Nintendo spokesperson was also quick to point out that The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD-II will feature Amiibo integration, although it is currently unclear as to what kind of functionality this will include. The Nintendo spokesperson in question was quick to change the subject when asked if such functionality could be patched into the first Wind Waker HD title.

While many in the gaming community will likely find this move to be positively baffling, publishers like Square Enix are already following in Nintendo’s footsteps.

“We all know how disappointed PlayStation 4 gamers are with the news that Rise of the Tomb Raider will be an Xbox One exclusive,” a spokesperson from Square Enix explained to us, “but PlayStation 4 users can look forward to Tomb Raider: Slightly-More-Definitive Edition. Preorders start tomorrow.”

343 Industries have also announced that they will soon begin development on Halo: The Master Chief Collection II for the Xbox One. We have been informed by a 343 Industries spokesperson that the multiplayer will be functional this time around.

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD-II will be available to preorder on eBay for $250 US tomorrow. A special Collector’s Edition containing a Toon Link Amiibo in a red tunic is expected to go for around $1,652.95.


4:39 AM on 01.18.2015

Nekro’s Top 5 Sexiest Dtoid-ers

As you can probably tell, this blog was very much created in response to Fenriff’s ‘Scientifically Proven 5 Sexiest Dtoiders’ blog. Unlike Mr. Fenriff, however, I feel so comfortable with my scientific skills and methodology that I am actually willing to disclose it.

Firstly, I’m currently listening to ‘Science’ by Septicflesh. This means that my thoughts are 666% more scientific. I can say this with absolute certainty, because my superior scientific mind allows me to. For I have Science on my side!

Without further delay, here’s Nekro’s top 5 sexiest Dtoid-ers!

#5. Nekrosys

This one was a given. After all, it’s really not a list of sexiest Dtoid-ers without that amazingly sexy son of a bitch Nekrosys. He is, after all, just so ludicrously sexy.

In fact, he’s almost as sexy as…

#4. Nekrosys

Taking the place as the fourth sexiest person on Dtoid, it’s Nekrosys. This Nekrosys fellow is just so brilliantly sexy and unimaginably narcissistic that it was inevitable that he’d make it to a list of sexiest Dtoid-ers.

#3. Nekrosys

That Fenriff fellow was objectively wrong when he maliciously omitted this unbelievably sexy creature from his Top 5 list. That also just goes to show how much better this list is. For this list contains Nekrosys.

#2. Nekrosys

Despite his constant change of appearance (read: avatars), Nekrosys continues to outdo himself in terms of sheer sexiness. No ‘Sexiest Dtoid-ers’ blog is complete without Nekrosys. His love of anime gifs and derailing comment sections will never grow old.


Unfortunately, he’s nowhere near as sexy as…


#1. Nekrosys

This person’s sexiness is… indescribable. There are no words in any mortal language that can describe how unbelievably sexy Nekrosys is. His sexiness is only rivalled by his ego. He is, undoubtedly, the sexiest being alive, dead, or yet to be alive. Nekrosys is the pinnacle of human civilisation. I’m sorry folks, it’s all downhill from here.

Of course, as sexy as Nekrosys is, there are definitely some other sexy folks on Dtoid. Here are my top 5 honourable mentions:

#5. Zyk

Zyk is an Australian with an incredibly kickass beard. And he’s Metal as fuck. Basically, he’s sexy. Incredibly sexy.

Alongside that, his movie blogs are always worth checking out.

#4. Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon

HLBC is some sort of Mega Man. I’m not sure exactly, because I haven’t really given those games much of a shot. But I think he’s a Mega Man. He might not be.

Either way, his skills in derailing comment sections are… incredible. As are his skills in finding amusing .gifs.

Skills like that are enough to make anyone sexy.

#3. GajKnight

I couldn’t leave Dtoid’s resident Naoto and Kingdom Hearts fanboy off this list. After all, British accents are profoundly cute.

Alongside that, he introduced Nekrosys to Neon Genesis Evangelion. That’s pretty damn sexy, if I do say so myself.

#2. Dreamweaver

Despite the fact that I should probably be competing with him over the love and affection of Nana from Akiba’s Trip, I just have to be honest and admit that Dreamweaver is actually a pretty sexy person. There, I said it.

Alongside that, his Gardevoir fanfiction writing skills are pretty great. And his hentai blogs are always entertaining/arousing. I really just couldn’t leave this guy out of my honourable mentions list.

He’s just far too sexy to ignore.

#1. Gardevoir

Need I say more? Okay, Gardevoir may not physically browse this site, but she's with us in spirit. And that's what counts. Because I say so.


4:06 AM on 11.08.2014

Doritos-Flavoured Mountain Dew Now a Reality

PepsiCo, in a bid to remove the necessity of consuming non-liquid forms of “Gamer Fuel,” has begun human testing of their new Doritos flavoured Mountain Dew.

A company spokesperson has claimed that such a concoction has been spawned into existence in order to ensure more efficient delivery of vital Mountain Dew and Doritos-related nutrients. It is said that the average video games enthusiast requires such substances in order to best thrive in their natural environment.

It is also said that more devoted consumers of these substances will only require the aid of a bottle instead of both that and a bucket for more prolonged gaming sessions with this miraculous new innovation in Gamer Fuel delivery.

We reached out to Geoff “Dorito Pope” Keighley, an avid Mountain Dew and Doritos enthusiast, for a comment but were unable to make out any decipherable quotes. We were instead greeted with the sounds of an incredibly powerful male orgasm.

‘Dewritos’ is said to officially launch alongside a heavy marketing campaign for the next installment of the Halo franchise.

In related news, PepsiCo still has an aversion to printing the word “Mountain” on the bottles for their beverages.


4:28 AM on 10.27.2014

Bayonetta 2 is the Yu-Gi-Oh Game We’ve All Been Waiting For

Like all perfectly sane and reasonable human beings, I’ve been spending a good bit of time playing Bayonetta 2. As my more recent comments would suggest, I’ve been utterly enjoying the game. It’s one of the most impressive-looking games currently available on the Wii U, it plays beautifully and it’s downright fun.

It’s also the best Yu-Gi-Oh game I have ever played.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the card game when I was much younger, but I’m very glad that the folks behind Yu-Gi-Oh have branched out and made a much more mature addition to their franchise.

Taking the focus away from Yugi himself was a rather smart idea, really. As was replacing him with a Bayonetta.

Although some more hardcore fans of the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise may be a little annoyed with his change of appearance. Personally, I prefer the original manga/anime version of the character, but I can see why they would want to change him. Giving him a new smart-arse personality was also an interesting change.

So if he has a new look, new name and new personality, how is he still Yu-Gi-Oh? He has the goddamn Millennium Puzzle, that’s how. Therefore, he is is Yu-Gi-Oh.

Now, I could take this as a simple coincidence, maybe it’s just a trinket that happens to look similar to the one Yu-Gi-Oh wears? That is a possibility. But there is another piece of evidence that helps me support my brilliant hypothesis: his use of Spell Cards.

Like Yu-Gi-Oh, Loki (his new name) uses Spell Cards in order to make magic happen. This redesign of Yu-Gi-Oh removes the familiar Duel Disk and instead makes the Yu-Gi-Oh Cards (isn’t it funny how the character has a similar name to the cards? Maybe his father was a fan…) outright magical. Using the power of the Heart of the Cards™, Yu-Gi-Oh Loki is able to make magical spells just happen as if they were magic.

Well, I’m sure the less learned and intelligent members of the community will be sharpening their pitchforks and claiming it’s all still a simple co-incidence. Well, let me present you with a final piece of highly damning evidence.

What’s this, you ask? Well it’s sort of like a magical barrier. It’s made of magic and stuff and it blocks off your path until you murder enough murder-ables through the power of murder and the Heart of the Cards™.

It also looks rather familiar, does it not?

You’re damn right it looks like the Millennium Eye. This has me (and it should have you) thoroughly convinced that Bayonetta 2 takes place in the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. Perhaps it takes place in the Shadow Realm™?

The fact of the matter is, this is all highly convincing and undeniable evidence that Bayonetta 2 is the best (and most mature) Yu-Gi-Oh game on the market. Some people might not be convinced that this was an appropriate direction for the much beloved 4Kids anime, but I personally feel that it was a much-needed spin on the franchise.


12:52 AM on 10.14.2014

Nekrosys’ Top 10 Fetishes: I Hate You All Sometimes…

Yes, I’m joining this bandwagon too, dammit!

I should be ashamed…

Well, here's my top 10 fetishes. Feel free to fap away. Actually, do fap away. It means you have good taste. Damn good taste.

#10: Whatever the Hell This Is

Yep… moving on…

#9: Bears!

What? You thought I was going to talk about bearded manly men who are manly as fuck and…

Well, you’d be right. But Teddie is also kind of maybe a little bit adorable, so let’s just leave him there anyway. Cuteness goes a long way, folks.

#8: Speaking of Cuteness…

Is this really all that surprising? Cuteness is maybe the one true universal truth. May we all aspire to be cute as fuck. The world would be a much, much better place. Also cuter. The world would be significantly cuter.

This is a good thing. There is literally nothing wrong with everything being more adorable. Get your priorities right, people.

#7: Ninjas

Of course ninjas would make my list! Who doesn’t love ninjas? You are objectively broken if you cannot appreciate the excellence of the ninja. How dare you, random hypothetical person I am arguing with! Begone!

Ninjas are awesome. Let it never be said otherwise.

That said, there is something far better than a simple ninja…

#6: Akatsuki

Take your ordinary, everyday ninja and make it significantly more cute. Damn straight.

Get your own waifu, folks. Sorry.

Also, Akatsuki is now a fetish. Deal with it.

#5: Not Very Original But…

Yep. Cat people. Cat people are like people. But also cat-ish. It’s the best of both worlds. How could you go wrong!?

#4: Angel-y People (Or People With Wings)

Not sure why I’m fond of these people, I guess maybe it’s just the general elegance of them. Still, they're damn enjoyable.

I’m making no apologies for adding this to my list.

#3: Tsunderes

This one’s kind of a given. Tsunderes are great. Nothing else to be said about the matter.

That is all. 

#2: Yanderes

Who doesn’t love a yandere? Yanderes are adorable. Yanderes are an excellent balance between sheer cuteness and crazy.

Sure, they may be a little bit incredibly homicidally insane, but it’s impossible to hate them. They’re just too damn cute to hate.

Besides, pain’s a good thing. A damn good thing. It’s okay if they’re a little crazy.

#1: Yandere Cat People

They’re like cat people, but yandere! What more could you ask for?

Honourable Mention:

Men With Long Hair

Yep. Do I need to say anything else? I really don’t think so.

Well, it's better if it's a bear with long hair.

Mmm... bears...


10:16 PM on 09.04.2014

A Filthy, Disgusting "SJW's" Perspective...

First and foremost, I’d like to get this out of the way: I’m really tired of this entire argument that’s been going on recently about “Gamers” VS “SJWs.” I’m just sick of it all. But I do still have an opinion on the subject and feel the need to put it forth. Anything else I say on the subject after this would simply be repeating arguments or statements from this CBlog post. I'll try to keep this brief and in as few words as possible, however. I'm sure you're all as sick of this bullshit as I am.

I would also like to state that these are simply my own opinions, they are not some sort of grand universal truth.

As I’ve stated in this title, I do very much believe in social justice. The possibility that all humans could be treated as equal and judged based on their actions rather than gender, sexuality, race or religious affiliation, in my mind, is a damn good thing.

Alongside that, I also strongly believe that diversity is a worthwhile concept, and something that I feel should be very much welcomed in the gaming scene (even for those who don’t necessarily agree with it) simply because a little more variety in the games on store shelves is never a bad thing. Also, the chance to bring more people into gaming through new possibilities in terms of character, gameplay and storytelling should be welcomed. At least in my own opinion.

At this stage, I have some sort of expectation that at least half of the people who clicked this link are either closing the tab in disgust or writing up a strongly worded retort using a collection of mindless and meaningless buzzwords.

When I say I am a fan of diversity and equality though, that also means that I have to - and very much do - accept and acknowledge that not everyone will or has to agree with me. Rather, there are (and should be) people with differing opinions. That’s totally okay. Even if I don’t exactly agree with you, that doesn’t mean that you should be harassed or beaten up over having an opinion.

While I do not believe it is appropriate to incessantly shout buzzwords like “bigot” at the people I disagree with, I would also like to politely ask for at least the same sort of respect from “the other side” so to speak. Rather, if we can put aside the stupid name-calling and shit-flinging and actually have a discussion on the so-called issues, I feel that there could actually be a somewhat productive debate going on.

I honestly do not think this should be a situation of “us” VS “them” though. This divisive “left” VS “right” mentality rarely helps matters. Neither does bundling everyone with a certain opinion into a specific group in order to categorise them, ignore or invalidate their arguments.

Why yes, there are some more extreme people who claim to be acting under “social justice.” But that’s just those particular people. I find it genuinely sickening when someone is threatened or verbally abused for having a different opinion. No matter who it is or what their opinion is.

I’d also like to point out that “diversity” as a concept doesn’t even mean - and shouldn’t mean - that certain video games should be taken away because of so-called “offensive content.” In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the removal of certain types of games (think: jiggle physics) would be detrimental. How about as well as video games with jiggly anime boobs, we have video games with giant floppy cock physics? There we go! A little more diversity. Both men and women are being sexualised like crazy, it’s a slightly more even playing field.

How many of you would legitimately complain bitterly about more games being released with giant floppy cocks as well as jiggly boobs? Is that really so much of a problem? I’d say that it would help add to the insane and over-the-top nature of such games.

Now what about a game where the protagonist happens to be gay? Not just a token “gay character,” but as a character with a well-defined personality who just happens to be gay? Is that an issue?

For those who have finished reading this in a calm and collected manner without attempting to verbally murder me, you folks are awesome. Have my babies.

But what do I know? I’m clearly a filthy, disgusting SJW.   read

9:50 PM on 08.27.2014

Nekrosys’ Strangely Pleasant Trip to EB Games

Let me start this by saying one thing: I generally detest going to EB Games. When I hunt for a worthwhile video game, I tend to go there last simply because I’m not fond of their generally high prices and annoying marketing tactics. I hate being told repeatedly to please pre-order Destiny or Watch Dogs or whatever the over-hyped game of the week is.

To put it bluntly, I really don’t like the store. It’s a deeply unpleasant experience for me. Generally.

I just wanted to write this up because, for once, I’m not mad at them. Rather, I’ve had a strangely humanising experience with an EB Games store.

I kind of only went into the store on this day on a whim. Really, I was bored. I’d just grabbed a bite to eat after a long walk and I figured “hey, why not go check out some video games? Seems like a decent idea. Something to play when I get home. Could be fun.”

Turns out this store in particular had a game I’ve been wanting to play for quite some time: No More Heroes, or at least, the PS3 version of the game. So I begrudgingly walk over to the counter with a videogame box in my hand, expecting to be lectured on why Destiny will legit be the bestest game in the universe and how I absolutely must pre-order it to get some stupid gun skin or something like that because obviously a pre-order DLC pack is the only way I can fully enjoy the best game that will ever exist. Obviously.

“Holy shit! This is my favourite game! You ever played it? Oh man, you’re going to absolutely love it if you’re into quirky Japanese humour.”

Those were the first words to come out of the guy at the counter’s mouth. I was shocked. Instead of getting your typical lecture from the marketing arm of the videogame industry, I instead encounter just another fan of over-the-top games.

Since the store was empty, I figured I’d just go with it. Mention I’d never played the game, but heard good things.

”Really? You’re into quirky games, too? Heard of Drakengard 3? Absolutely love it. Can’t order it in for you considering there’s no retail copy in this country, but I’d wholeheartedly recommend you import it or buy it on the PSN.”

Dammit EB Games, I’m trying to hate your store with all of my hatred. Why do you do everything you can to make me like your staff? Talking about a game I adore? Recommending I import it? Where’s the corporate PR speak I’m so used to? What is this? Have I gone to Bizarro World?

The conversation with this EB Games employee continues. Since the store was still empty, we talk about our love of the PS Vita, YS: Memories of Celceta and its amazing soundtrack, Ratchet and Clank and how dick jokes significantly improve videogames.

As I’ve mentioned, it was a strangely humanising experience. It’s the sort of thing that makes me remember that some the employees of a game store tend to just be fans of gaming in general, and not the PR representatives of an evil money-hungry corporation. At least some of the time.

When I left the store with my newly obtained game in hand, I came to a sudden realisation; I was never once asked to pre-order Destiny. In fact, there was never once any mention of pre-ordering a game in that conversation. I’d simply spoken to a gamer.   read

9:15 PM on 05.26.2014

Jak 3 - Super Hardcore Game Info

Greetings, friends!

Recently, I have noticed that it seems as if there are some spambots on the wonderful Community Blogs on the Destructoid website. Generally, they seem to be writing up some wonderful advertorials about video games as well as posting links that claim to be for cheats to the video games they talk about, using different accounts to do so (even though the writing styles are all eerily similar). Realising that this could be a highly lucrative thing for me, I want to put forth my own advertorial for a video game I’m sure everyone is talking about; Jak 3.

I hope the fine folks at Destructoid appreciate the hard work I put forth in order to advertise a game and the possibility of video game cheats. I also hope I can do a much better job than the current spambots Destructoid hires. Consider this my résumé.

Jak 3 is a video game about an elf named Daxter and an orange thing named Jak who go on wonderful adventures. At the start of the game, they are in a desert because Daxter can turn into Dark Jak and he smashes stuff all awesome-like with explosions and things.

As this is a video game, Daxter is controlled through buttons that can be found on your video game console controller. This controller is generally for a PlayStation console, as this is not a game for Xbox or PC. As such, you have to remember that buttons have shapes on them instead of letters.

As the game progresses, Daxter gets guns that let him shoot stuff. Shooting stuff is a thing that happens in this video game. Explosions can also happen when you shoot things because that is how video games work. When things die, they explode. Specifically, vehicles explode better than people because people aren’t made of explode-y things.

But you can also shoot people in this open-world game. Although in the first city, you might not want to do that because people in that city have guns that can murder you to death if you get shot by them too often.

Daxter also explores a desert, once he unlocks the cars required to explore the desert. In the desert, he gets shot at by other cars. Sometimes he leaves the car to explore an area, like a volcano or a temple of something-or-other that lets Daxter turn blue and gives him time-freezing powers. These time-freezing powers are best complimented with the wondrous power of cheats, which I am very pleased to say this game has. Cheats can be found in the game, requiring no additional websites, malware or other stuff.

People play games exclusively for cheats, you see. Cheats are the only good thing about video games and you know it.

These cheats are really cool and sometimes awesome things happen with them activated. Although you have to earn the ability to cheat by unlocking eggs. Perhaps they are eggs of the Easter variety? People also play games for Easter Eggs, you see. Gameplay has nothing to do with it. Not at all.

Eventually, Daxter gets to Haven City where he gets to roam wild and free and complete other missions to progress the story. Daxter and Jak also get to go to other parts of Haven City where they can shoot robots and drive cars that can fly.

But anyway, this game also has some really cool platforming and car-driving stuff. You can perform all these awesome things by pressing buttons and watching a 3D character move around on a screen.

Enemies that Daxter fights include Heavy Metal fans (or Metalheads) - something that makes me feel highly discriminated against and it makes me feel like Naughty Dog really just don’t listen to enough Gorgoroth - people, people in blue, people with guns, robots, and monsters.

This game also contains a possible allusion to tentacle porn.

I hope my guide was really helpful!   read

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