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Bob has been hanging around ModernMethod for years and and somehow writes almost everywhere, including Japanator and Flixist. He was once lit on fire, but it's not as cool as you'd think.

I remember being in here a lot:


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Rantoid - An editorial column that updates on Sunday
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Thank you, Mr. Thompson, for being our nemesis
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Necros Says: Once again, Rantoid is delayed until Sunday to coincide closer with a holiday. I hope everyone's enjoying the spoils of Christmas/other holidays!

You know, I've sat down to write this Rantoid about five times, and five times I've come up with some writing that I totally hate. Seriously, it was some of the most dull, forced writing I've done since my final essays last semester. As such, I'm not going to talk about new year resolutions for the gaming industry or what I want to see happen in terms of storytelling. Instead, I'm going to rant a bit about the first thing to pop into my mind. And that topic is...

Doilies.

Doilies are small, lacy mats placed under dishes to not only decorate the room, but also protect the surface from possible scratches. Unlike ordinary placemats, doilies are created by the time-honored tradition of crochet, which is different from knitting in some way that I don't care to explain. Doilies are also known for their medicinal properties when applied to wounds and as an underused repellant of godless killing machines. Also, Jesus invented the first doily as a side effect of bringing people back to life, so some may speculate they hold the secrets to zombification and should be handled carefully.

But what place do doilies have on a video game blog site? Glad you asked. Not many people realize that doilies have played an important part in gaming history. Just look at all the times you've missed their presence:



The man that actually killed Aeris was a doily.



Bowser's hammers were actually unfinished doilies.



The original concept for Pacman was for him to wander a maze eating up all the doilies.



When you blow the heads off of the villagers in Resident Evil 4, the parasites that pop out are actually relatives of the doily.

And now that I've beaten that joke to death, let me complain about something infinitely small yet still annoying: the writing of "video games" as one word. All my life, I grew up learning that "video games" was two words; one was the noun, "games," something you play, and one was the adjective, "video," describing the fact that it takes place on a screen. However, I notice that more and more sites are recommending that their editors write it as one word. Really, there's nothing wrong with that, it just seems wrong turning it into a compound word, like it's upsetting the natural order.

And what's the deal with people hating on cblog jokes if nothing's going on? I saw so much hate yesterday for the "rules of blogging" meme, but honestly, if nothing important is going on and it's a slow day, you might as well have a little fun as a community. Trust me, a running joke is not going to kill the good blogs, it's only a temporary reprieve for a boring day.

And another thing: what is it with people who can't stay on topic? You'd think that they could just pick one topic and stick to it, but no, these people bring up tons of different topics to mask the fact that they don't have anything substantial to say at the moment. They really need to get their head in order and figure out what it is they want to say. Stop playing games and partying and work out your statement before you fill up a page with meaningless nonsense.

Thank you for bearing with me tonight. Happy new year, Dtoid.
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