Necros Says: Once again, Rantoid is delayed until Sunday to coincide closer with a holiday. I hope everyone's enjoying the spoils of Christmas/other holidays!
You know, I've sat down to write this Rantoid about five times, and five times I've come up with some writing that I totally hate. Seriously, it was some of the most dull, forced writing I've done since my final essays last semester. As such, I'm not going to talk about new year resolutions for the gaming industry or what I want to see happen in terms of storytelling. Instead, I'm going to rant a bit about the first thing to pop into my mind. And that topic is...
Doilies.
Doilies are small, lacy mats placed under dishes to not only decorate the room, but also protect the surface from possible scratches. Unlike ordinary placemats, doilies are created by the time-honored tradition of crochet, which is different from knitting in some way that I don't care to explain. Doilies are also known for their medicinal properties when applied to wounds and as an underused repellant of
godless killing machines. Also, Jesus invented the first doily as a side effect of bringing people back to life, so some may speculate they hold the secrets to zombification and should be handled carefully.
But what place do doilies have on a video game blog site? Glad you asked. Not many people realize that doilies have played an important part in gaming history. Just look at all the times you've missed their presence:
The man that actually killed Aeris was a doily.
Bowser's hammers were actually unfinished doilies.
The original concept for
Pacman was for him to wander a maze eating up all the doilies.
When you blow the heads off of the villagers in
Resident Evil 4, the parasites that pop out are actually relatives of the doily.
And now that I've beaten that joke to death, let me complain about something infinitely small yet still annoying: the writing of "video games" as one word. All my life, I grew up learning that "video games" was two words; one was the noun, "games," something you play, and one was the adjective, "video," describing the fact that it takes place on a screen. However, I notice that more and more sites are recommending that their editors write it as one word. Really, there's nothing wrong with that, it just seems wrong turning it into a compound word, like it's upsetting the natural order.
And what's the deal with people hating on cblog jokes if nothing's going on? I saw so much hate yesterday for the "rules of blogging" meme, but honestly, if nothing important is going on and it's a slow day, you might as well have a little fun as a community. Trust me, a running joke is not going to kill the good blogs, it's only a temporary reprieve for a boring day.
And another thing: what is it with people who can't stay on topic? You'd think that they could just pick one topic and stick to it, but no, these people bring up tons of different topics to mask the fact that they don't have anything substantial to say at the moment. They really need to get their head in order and figure out what it is they want to say. Stop playing games and partying and work out your statement before you fill up a page with meaningless nonsense.
Thank you for bearing with me tonight. Happy new year, Dtoid.
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FF7 spoiler!
Do I smell a new meme.
Also, Dolies.
Great Post, Necros.
Necros, what hath you wrought?
This blog needs some tea and Crumpets.
AERIS DIES?! NOEZ IT KANT [B]!
pac-man had doilies all along, but you needed a high def tv and they were hard to find in the 80s..
videogames
Fuck, I hate dolies. They remind me of old people.
"Video game" is two words. Thank you, IRCommandant.
<Necros> I fuck doilies in my sleep.
Whoever spells 'video games' as one word should be grouped with the same people who spell 'a lot' as 'alot' and shot in private area.
I agree, if we can't have some stupid meme go around on the cblogs once in a while, Destructoid may as well be Joystiq.
epic.
i flushed all my families doilies down the toilet when i was young.
AERIS NOOOOOOO! DAMN YOU TO HELL, DOILY SCUM!
The cblogs are apparently serious business. As are doilies, and the spelling of "video games".
Fuckin' Dollies.
Oh, your last paragraph is so meta!
Also, considering that the proper spacing of “video games” is the topic of one of the random phrases that appears after your username near the top of the page, I would hope that most Dtoiders know the correct way to do it.
It's spelled "dammit."
Oh sorry Necros, that was for someone else.
This is a great post and I think you are fantastic for it.
Death to the Doilies.
Here’s what I was talking about:
@ Bronx
It's a shame the official Dtoid writing guide supports the no-space bastardization.
’Tis a shame, indeed. There’s only one case where I’ll make an exception: when I’m using the term “video game” as a noun with a past participle of a verb attached to it, and the hyphenated phrase is used as an adjective. I know it’s confusing, so here are some examples:
“The only lawyer I know who deals with videogame-related cases is Jack Thompson, and he barely deserves the title.”
“She dumped her videogame-obsessed boyfriend pretty quickly.”
“A problem with many major media outlets is that they don’t employ any videogame-specific staff.”
I dunno...I guess that saying “video game-related” isn’t really ambiguous, because when else do the words “video” and “game” appear next to each other without the writer referring to video games? But still, a “video game” is pretty much a noun in and of itself, so who knows? Then again, you won’t find “videogame” in any proper dictionary, although you will certainly see “video game” in most dictionaries. It’s just one of the quirks of my writing, I suppose.
Also, there’s an official Destructoid writing guide?
Every blog of any significance has a style writing guide. It details which versions of words to use, their punctuation standard, etc. That way, even with differing voices, the writing can maintain some consistency.
I <3 my angry ranting hippy rival
where the fuck is this writing guide you speak of?
And one more thing: What do you mean when you say people shouldn't blog if they don't have something substantial to say? I mean some of the shit here is garbage and makes no sense, but what's wrong with just writing about a game you play or upcoming games you're interested in? It's not as if the front page guys always say something substantial. They do sometimes, but they also just post stuff they're interested in or things they think the community would like.
You don't always have to have a purpose or meaning behind things. I certainly don't everytime I blog. I just do it because it's enjoyable.
@ Whiteboy
Chill out. I was making fun of my own post. And the writing guide is for Dtoid editors, not the community.
Who's the fuckhead who put "videogames" in the writing guide? Surely not Niero, for Niero is not a fuckhead.
I wasn't trying to be a dick or something, I get it now. I only glossed over the blog real quick before. Sorry bout that.