games  anime  |  toys
This is a Dtoid readers's blog. For staff blogs click here. Confused? read this Create you own!  |   Members: Login now





In which I nitpick Portal and you get mad at me
Necros | 6:46 PM on 02.28.2008 33 comments




Months after the internet got a hold of The Orange Box, the acclaimed compilation of recent Half-Life 2: Source games, I finally bought a copy for myself. Considering how long it took me to play the original Half-Life - that is, last September - I'm impressed by my relative timeliness. However, my first stop was not to discover the continuing adventures of The One Free Man, but everyone's surprise favorite of 2007, Portal. Needless to say, I loved it, and found it to be a breath of fresh air, an example of brilliant writing, and an intriguing proposition for the development of shorter games.

However.

I couldn't help noticing some flaws in what might have been overlooked by those entranced with such a dazzling display of distinctiveness. Allow me to present a few things that stood out through my playtime.



Weighted Acquaintance Cube

Valve couldn't predict it, but the Weighted Companion Cube quickly became one of the most popular aspects of the Portal. At the very least, all I heard for a while was people misquoting GlaDOS's famous lines about how the Cube cannot talk and how you should ignore any advice it gives. When I finally started up the game, I was really excited to finally meet my mute sidekick. I waited for the cube to fall out of the first container, and received...the Weighted Storage Cube. "Hm, this isn't it," I todl myself. "It must come later."

Try sixteen levels later. You are finally introduced to the fabled Weighted Companion Cube, in all its taciturn glory. I thought to myself, "Finally. I can't wait to fall in love with this thing." I laughed along with GlaDOS's lines. I solved the puzzles. I wasn't on a personal level with it yet, but I figured I had more time to get to know the fellow.

I was wrong. After a mere level, I was instructed to throw the Cube into an incinerator. After thinking about it for a moment, I tossed it in and I was told by GlaDOS that I did it faster than anyone else had before. I know the line plays no matter how long you take, but I honestly believed it. One level is not long enough to grow emotionally attached to a character, much less an object. I can see why many people fell in love with the Cube, but for me, it was far too underused for me to do anything more than chuckle at it. The Cube should have been around for at least two levels, if not more.



The Copypasta is a Lie

Another unanticipated success of Portal were the hidden sections of the game, where cryptic messages scrawled on the walls were left by the "Rat Man," a character ultimately cut from the final game. Any gamer who considers himself slightly hardcore has memorized that "The cake is a lie." Alongside this are numerous other scribbles, telling that "she's watching me" and other such paranoid thoughts. When I finally came upon one of these rooms, I thought it was very humorous and a great way to expand on the story.

That is, until I saw it again. And again. I'm not referring to the fact that there was more than one secret compartment; that added to the desired effect. My problem lies with the reused wall textures. I was willing to buy into the idea of someone leaving behind warnings, but to see those exact same warnings, pasted identically on another wall, makes me imagine not a man driven insane by a rogue AI but an underground graffiti artist, running around with a stencil and a can of spray paint. If Valve was totally committed to this concept, which I still think was a good idea, then they should have taken the extra effort to at least make the text look different if they wanted to use the same line a second time.



Just One?

Now, far be it from me to look a gift cake in it's...portal...mouth...um, you see where I was going with that. But the point I was trying to segue into is this: I think the portal concept is amazing. They've done wonderful things with it, and there's room for expansion with it, as shown with the devious advanced levels. I also appreciated the simplicity of the mechanics: go in one portal, come out the other. Easy as pie.

At the same time, having only one set of portals feels somewhat limiting. For starters, how does the previous blue portal know how to dissipate when I make a new one? Why can't I make two sets of portals? Think of the complexity and depth this could offer to further Portal puzzles. Now, I understand that you shouldn't be able to completely cover the walls with portals, but how about adding a simple timer to countdown how long until a portal fades away? Creating a second set of portals would make the first set disappear faster. It would make more sense, considering the portal gun is experimental technology, and also add a sense of urgency of motion that the game is lacking until the nineteenth level. I can only hope that they explore more of the idea's untapped potential in Portal 2.

Anyways, despite these three shortcomings, I still thought Portal was a fantastic game and, if you're one of the few people who hasn't played it or gotten sick of the popular "cake is a lie" meme, you really owe it to yourself to try one of the best gaming experiences of 2007.



Attached photos:

Photo Photo Photo Photo

Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

31 comments | showing # 1 to 31

prev next

HarassmentPanda's Destructoid Blog
You are cool!
Surf314's Destructoid Blog
I clicked expecting a flame war (that I might join in) but that was actually well thought out and accurate. Side note for some reason I thought your avatar was stitch evolving into pure energy, but now I see it is FLCL and it is awesome. I am glad I changed my FLCL avatar so as not to compete.
Wedge's Destructoid Blog
I thought the companion cube thing was cute, but did ANYONE really take it seriously? I think you misunderstood that it was a joke to really pretend you had cared about it. Or at least I hope it was.

Also, I think the "ratman" thing is weird, did they rewrite the story at all after he was removed? The impression I always got from the story was that Chell was being cloned within the facility, and the notes were all from past versions of herself that had died. If it wasn't intended, I certainly think it is a much better plot mechanic, so I'm going to pretend that's how it happened.
Wedge's Destructoid Blog
Also I'd give it... 2.5 points.
nopk's Destructoid Blog
Hi There Guys. John Madden here-

This review was like BLAUW! He went in with the one two three and hit the nail right on the KABLOOEY!

I-I-I-I mean WOWSA, with the CTRL-V and the companion cube and the HOOOOOOO!
Aerox's Destructoid Blog
I AM SO MAD AT YOU NECROS
Necros's Destructoid Blog
@ Wedge

The only thing edited out about the "rat man" was his actual in-game appearance. All the traces left behind are from him. However, you have an interesting idea of Chell being cloned, though there's no evidence in-game to support that.

Oh, and of course I understand the Cube is a joke, but I think in order for that joke to be more effective, it should have been around for more than five minutes.

@ Reaprar

Read the review. I still thought it was amazing. I went into it just looking for a good time, and found it to be as good as I thought it would be. I just think there were some places they could have improved. There's no such thing as a perfect game.
superbeefy2050's Destructoid Blog
You just intrigued me about the multiple portals thing. That would put a huge twist on things and how the puzzles would work.
Lets just hope the multiple portals idea gets put into Portal 2. That would be beyond awesome.

The other two points.
I completely agree with the weighted companion cube. If you had the cube the entire game, then yea, I would feel kind of attached to it. But when you put it into 1 level and it takes 30 mins TOPS to finish it, you are not emotionally attached to the companion cube when you have to destroy it.
With the whole copy pasta thing, that seems to be a little nitpicky about things. I really didn't take the time to notice small things like that.
MaxVest's Destructoid Blog
Necros, it's clear you don't understand the science behind the portal gun and why logically there can be only one of each color at any given time. It has to do with time, space, and possibly a continuum of some sort. And quantums. Definitely quantums.
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
WHY DO YOU SUCK SO BAD
B-Radicate's Destructoid Blog
I, for one, think multiple portals would prove WAY too chaotic.

I dunno about anyone else but I played through the whole game AND the advanced levels and STILL had trouble wrapping my mind around the concept once all the momentum and stuff got involved. Maybe I'm just dumb, but I think throwing in more portals would sort of destroy the level of "pick up and play" the game has.

Also, okay arguments. I disagree for the most part, but they were well developed.
notdryad's Destructoid Blog
I don't think they let you use multiple sets of portals because they were worried about the game being too overwhelming for most people hence why over half the game is a tutorial.
GrayFox's Destructoid Blog
I never felt any sort of attachment to the WCC either, but that certainly didn't take anything away from my experience.

You can find faults in every game ever made if you look hard enough, and this proves that you have to reach pretty far to find a fault in Portal.
ScottyG's Destructoid Blog
I agree on the WCC. I'll admit I jumped on the bandwagon for the lulz, but at point did I ever become attached to the cube.

I'll admit it took awhile before I threw it in the incinerator, but that was because I thought I might be able to keep the cube and tried to see if I could. :)
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
I haven't played Portal.

Now that I have that out of the way I can say that I hate the fucking companion cube.
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
Just beat it tonight actually, loved the game, but I pretty much can't argue with your nitpicks.
RHWeeeee6's Destructoid Blog
I was blown away by this when i first played it a couple of months ago. I loved it. But yeah, even though I agree that the Companion Cube is awesome, I agree with you that it is kinda weird that people love it so much, even though it is only with you for a short time.
PrinceofCannedPeaches's Destructoid Blog
I was never really that attached to the Cube. I nuked the bastard in two seconds. Only as long as it took to find the one way trip to reincarnation at the jewelry shop.
Samit Sarkar's Destructoid Blog
I didn’t read any of this because I haven’t yet played the game, but I felt obligated to comment because WE’RE BFFs!
NihonTiger90's Destructoid Blog
Wait, Samit, you have a BFF now, too?

Also, nice write-up, Necros. I see someone else needs the points for the contest, too :p
Sharpless's Destructoid Blog
I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILIES.
DynamicSheep's Destructoid Blog
I thought that the companion cube should've been around since level 1 so that it could've been the key to your success, and then they could've had you burn it right before you get into the harder levels... so I agree with the first point. The second one makes sense too, but I just kind of expect that kind of stuff from video games.
bottled dark's Destructoid Blog
i agree with the companion cube thing entirely.

dies too soon.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
Fuck this game, it got old after the previews 2 years ago. Nice ideas, not enough worked out and ultimately more of a temporary geekgasm fulfillment than an actual great things like errr.... Lawrence of Arabia? I rate it amongst Meet the Spartans for stuff that most ppl find fantastic somehow ;)

Still, it was a fun 30 mins of actual new gameplay after the tedious and unchallenging puzzles.
Pangloss's Destructoid Blog
I don't think I was ever really attached to the WCC, but I did find the concept funny when factored with the Rat Man's notes about it.

Also, I am super-duper mad at you for nitpicking Portal, Necros.
Toneman's Destructoid Blog
I agree with Necros. I loved Portal, don't get me wrong, it just didn't blow me away like I was expecting. Also, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy.
brad drac's Destructoid Blog
I'm kind of with you on the weighted companion cube, but apathy towards it is more due to overexposure on the wubs than any fault of the game. Also, how come the turrets don't get no love? Those guys fucking rule. Reused textures don't bother me that much, seeing as they're in every single game ever released, ever. As for multiportalling, getting just the one pair to work was quite a technical coup. Asking for more would probably instaRRoD your 360 or require a PC made entirely out of beef. It'd also be far more difficult for the designers to make elegant puzzles that weren't overwhelming. I think just the one set of portals works just fine.

All in all, nitpicking post is nitpicking, which is quite understandable. I love the game but even I got really sick of all the "cake is a lie" bullshit in every second post on the entire internets.
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
I agree about the companion cube completely. I though it would be with me for a while and was surprised when they made me get rid of it so soon. Oh well, I just dropped the fucker in the incinerator and kept moving.
Hitogoroshi's Destructoid Blog
RAWR DIE!
blehman's Destructoid Blog
FLAME BURN HATE!!!!
Raidensolid's Destructoid Blog
WELL PLAYED!


prev next


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 about me



Yo. I'm a junior at Syracuse University, studying Television/Film at the Newhouse school.

I love video games, gaming/nerd culture, examining games critically as an art form, and all the useless trivia and data surrounding games. I am a consumer whore. Gaming is obviously one of my primary hobbies, though not the only one. I'm a regular on Failcast.

I also watch anime and read manga when I get the chance. It's mostly just mainstream and shonen stuff as a result of the ease of accessibility, though I try to see some more obscure series when I get the chance.

I have epic hair.

I play bass guitar and have been in a band. It's broken up. I lived the dream.

I love rock. I tend to gravitate towards various types of punk, alternative, or indie, though I'll listen to anything. Bob Dylan rocks. Also, random weird underground stuff. The NES sound chip was amazing.

Rantoid - An editorial column that updates on Sunday
The Zen of Yaris
Conditions of a Review
Longevity - seven years, to be exact
Stop talking about HD-DVD
What is wrong with Japanese developers?
Are achievements beneficial?
PConsoles
Random topic for New Year's
Gaming changed my Christmas
Dreamcast 2 would fail
Buy more special editions
Game Length and You
Reexamining Twilight Princess
Thank you, Mr. Thompson, for being our nemesis
Do games need to be respectable?
Startgame Syndrome's dark secrets
Pre-hype is a big let-down
Why can't games have bad endings?
Why would you want a Resident Evil film to begin with?

Illustrated Review - A picture-focused analysis of gaming stuff, to save you the trouble of trying it
Fallout 3 Survival Edition (and Collector's Edition)
Fable II Limited Collector's Edition
Dead Space Ultra Limited Edition
SoulCalibur IV Premium Edition
Grand Theft Auto IV: Special Edition
Devil May Cry 4: Collector's Edition
Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect: Limited Editions
Check Mii Out Channel

Systems Owned: DS, DS Lite, GCN, GBA, GBA SP, GB Micro, GBC, N64, PS2, PSP, Wii, Xbox, Xbox 360

Favorite types of games: retro/retro-influenced games, Metroidvanias, action, and puzzle

Favorite singleplayer game: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Favorite multiplayer game: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Will kick your ass at: Puzzle League

Favorite first-party developer: Nintendo

Favorite third-party developer: Konami

Dislikes: Sports, sports games, bad music, fanboys, Mac haters, broccoli, and snow





Email: necrosterminus [at] gmail.com
Failcast: failcast [at] gmail.com
IM: NecrosTerminus
Skype: NecrosTerminus
Xbox Live: NecrosTerminus
360's Blog: 360Voice

 mii friend code:
8627-3860-8282-3732

 friends' updates
Aaron Linde's Profile Aaron Linde
BRINGIN' THE DRAMA
aborto thefetus's Profile aborto thefetus
Aborto Rants: or how the problem with game reviews doesn't actually exist.
Aerox's Profile Aerox
IT'S TYRA TUESDAY - GET'CHO FIERCE ON
AngelsDontBurn's Profile AngelsDontBurn
Preorder Mad World on Amazon for $39.97!
Anthony Burch's Profile Anthony Burch
Hell is other demons: Solium Infernum released
Ashley Davis's Profile Ashley Davis
Badass of the Month Club: Terry S. Taylor
atheistium's Profile atheistium
I'm in Canada for a Ubisoft Montreal Event
BahamutZero's Profile BahamutZero
TITAN QUEST IS AMAZING - aka - BUY THE THQ PACK ON STEAM BEFORE MONDAY
balth's Profile balth
My bi-monthly post: Dragon's Age: Origins the Anti-Jimpression Review
BFeld13's Profile BFeld13
GTA IV: The Lost and Damned - Thoughts represented in pictures with words
bhive01's Profile bhive01
Destructoid crashes Safari/ Spam on the Increase
BigPopaGamer's Profile BigPopaGamer
Drunkcast PAX Drinking Challenge: Official Rules(NSFW)
blehman's Profile blehman
Dear Diary, I've Met Someone Else
bloodylip's Profile bloodylip
The Greatest Joystick Ever.
BluDesign's Profile BluDesign
A More Positive Katamari Forever Review...
Brad Rice's Profile Brad Rice
GTA IV isn't helping anime with Princess Robot Bubblegum
bunnyrabbit2's Profile bunnyrabbit2
Why PAX was great and why I might be around less
Butmac's Profile Butmac
Live with Butmac makes it's return
CannibalCalvin 's Profile CannibalCalvin
Did Valve pull a fast one on us?
Cataract's Profile Cataract
Destructoid Secret Santa 2: Important news!
ceark's Profile ceark
I can't figure some things out and it's driving me nuts.
Chad Concelmo's Profile Chad Concelmo
The tragic history of the videogame turkey
charliesuh's Profile charliesuh
More Cancun Stuff: Dale North Tribute
Cheeburga's Profile Cheeburga
Actually, I'm fine with my weight, Destructoid.
cjpkiller's Profile cjpkiller
Metal Gear Mondays, American Edition, UPDATE!
Colette Bennett's Profile Colette Bennett
The Whispered World gets lucky at German Game Dev Awards
Conrad Zimmerman's Profile Conrad Zimmerman
Dale North psyched about Fallout 3 360 Avatar items
Coonskin05's Profile Coonskin05
A Not-So-Weird Kid's Top 10: NES Games
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Profile Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
The Development Process of MGS4
Cowzilla3's Profile Cowzilla3
Monday Review: Drag Me to Hell
CronosBlade's Profile CronosBlade
360 Paradise Wednesday Week 2 - 10PM EST
Dale North's Profile Dale North
New Shiren the Wanderer trailer looks awesome
DJDuffy 's Profile DJDuffy
“NieR:Replicant” Revealed: Thoughts on Gender Identity in Gaming
Dyson's Profile Dyson
Madness spreads to Playstation Network, Military style
EternalDarkWing's Profile EternalDarkWing
A Summer of Punishment: Week 3
Excremento's Profile Excremento
A Weird Kid's Top 10 -- NES Games That You Had To Leave on All-Night To Beat
FAILCAST's Profile FAILCAST
Failcast episode 54 records tonight; [insert additional phrase here]
FooLiz's Profile FooLiz
PAX Impromptu (male)Nerdcore session
Genki-JAM's Profile Genki-JAM
Ninja Assassin SUPER AWESOME COMIC REVIEW!!
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Profile Hamza CTZ Aziz
The Daily Hotness: GOBBLE GOBBLE!
HarassmentPanda's Profile HarassmentPanda
Review: Magic the Gathering - Duels of the Planeswalkers
Hitogoroshi's Profile Hitogoroshi
Catching up on Bru-Ray Releases.
Hollie Bennett's Profile Hollie Bennett
PlayStation Video Download service launches in Europe
Husky Hog's Profile Husky Hog
Video interview: Dementium II
itemforty's Profile itemforty
WWJDTN: What would Jesus Do to Nazis?
Jim Sterling's Profile Jim Sterling
Review: Echoes
Joe Burling's Profile Joe Burling
Meatspin Calculator Gymnastics: March 2009
Jordan Devore's Profile Jordan Devore
Exploring the daunting tunnels of 2010 IGF entrant 'Cave'
Justice's Profile Justice
A new addition to the household (shortblog)
keener's Profile keener
Flash Player 9 Problem - Error reporting correct version number, incorrect version identified, will not play video content on some websites, ActiveX AX IE IE7 (NVGR)
king3vbo's Profile king3vbo
Why I Love Destructoid
Knight13's Profile Knight13
Fails at blogging.
Knives's Profile Knives
Destructoid's PAX 09 Panel
Kryptinite's Profile Kryptinite
People in the gaming industry: Is your passion still strong?
LarkOhiya's Profile LarkOhiya
I hugged Pikachu's beach
LostCrichton's Profile LostCrichton
Thanks 2K, Samit and Destructoid!
Macca's Profile Macca
HAPPY HAMZAKAH!
MaxVest's Profile MaxVest
My New Job As A Chicken Sexer -- Not What I Thought It Would Be
McSnow's Profile McSnow
Bionic Commando: Hands On
Mxyzptlk's Profile Mxyzptlk
Left 4 Dead 2: Interview with a Zombie 2
nademagnet's Profile nademagnet
Diez cosas sobre mí
naia-the-gamer's Profile naia-the-gamer
Why I love Kristen Bell
Namelessted's Profile Namelessted
Destructoid E3 Party Image Gallery
Nick Chester's Profile Nick Chester
Dead to Right: Retribution all about 'awesome violence'
Niero's Profile Niero
Join Destructoid at the University of Miami's Launchpad
NihonTiger90's Profile NihonTiger90
What'd You Get? - Thanksgiving Edition
nintendoll's Profile nintendoll
Why The Beatles Rock Band is More than Just A Re-Skin
Ogu's Profile Ogu
Secret Counter :O Shit.
Passionate Styos's Profile Passionate Styos
Necros Is Pretentious: How MGS reminded me that Konami makes games other than Castlevania.
Phist's Profile Phist
Calling all 360 Street Fighters: SFII Turbo HD Remix XBLA Tonight
power-glove's Profile power-glove
I'm back in the saddle again: 360 Friday Night Fights
PraiseChaos's Profile PraiseChaos
Not My Turning Point Gaming Rig
Professor Pew's Profile Professor Pew
Pew Review: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (360) (spoilerfree no less)
Puppetpallmich's Profile Puppetpallmich
Not my turning point gaming rig
RHWeeeee6's Profile RHWeeeee6
NXE Game Install Feature (List Heavy)
riomccarthy's Profile riomccarthy
Blow those candles out! Rio's Mario RPG Bundt cake
Riser Glen's Profile Riser Glen
Thanks for being my Neighbor, DToid
Samit Sarkar's Profile Samit Sarkar
Steam sale, day 3: Borderlands, Ghostbusters, Trine, more
Sharpless's Profile Sharpless
Dante's Inferno: What the hell is the problem?
Snaileb 's Profile Snaileb
I've been having a blast, but miss you too, Dtoid!
Tactix's Profile Tactix
Dtoid Community Discusses pt 19: Digital Distribution
tazarthayoot's Profile tazarthayoot
Top 10 reasons it's Samit's birthday
Technophile's Profile Technophile
Forums, we have them: November edition
tehuberone's Profile tehuberone
Mushroom Collection
the GAMEGOBLIN's Profile the GAMEGOBLIN
My bestest buddy, UnstoppableJuggernaut
The GHost's Profile The GHost
Why I Love Destructoid
Tiff's Profile Tiff
Post-PAX Love & Farewell to Destructoid (for now)
Toneman's Profile Toneman
Happy Birthday!
Topher Cantler's Profile Topher Cantler
READY TO FRIDAY
Tristero's Profile Tristero
BREAKING: New Punch-Out character leaked
tsunamikitsune's Profile tsunamikitsune
Why I Love Destructoid
vexed alex's Profile vexed alex
Beneath the Pixels: Wind Waker Part One
wardrox's Profile wardrox
A Short Film By Wardrox
Y0j1mb0's Profile Y0j1mb0
PS3 Friday Night Fights: I CAN'T MOVE EDITION
Yashoki's Profile Yashoki
Destructoid look-a-like contest! (where you win nothing)
youkilledmyguy's Profile youkilledmyguy
Autistic Kid Plays WoW And Thinks Cops Are Maniacs.
ZServ's Profile ZServ
200 Review: Shadow Complex


 

 
  get involved

register or login
post a blog
post a forum
enter a contest
contribute a news tip
suggest a feature
be a guest editor
support

new member's guide
login assistance
tech support
report abuse
email our editors
read our dev blog
nuclear crisis?
keep in touch

RSS feed
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
Flickr
Game nights
Meetup+play online
seriously

about Destructoid
advertising
terms of use
privacy policy
jobs at MM
buy our crap
our network

Tomopop
Japanator
Despingation?




Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
living the dream since March 16, 2006