MGS4: Why I Think It Sucks - Destructoid

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Well, I just finished MGS4 clocking in a bit over 13 hours. For something that only took 13 hours to complete, it felt like one of the longest games I have ever played, and that is not a good thing. Anyways, I know some of you may already know my general opinion on the game but I just wanted to through this blog up now that I have finished the game. This isn't a full on review, just my overall thoughts; I may be putting up a review later next week sometime, we shall see.

I need to start by asking if anybody was as unimpressed by this game as I was. Anybody? Am I the only one on Earth that didn't find this game to be an amazing, bonerific, ejaculatory, orgasmic video game? Seriously, I need to know. Because for me, MGS4 was actually a pretty pathetic game.

Thinking back on the game, Act 4 was the only segment where I actually had a lot of fun.

The whole bit where you were in a dream and you were playing MGS, fucking tits. And then being dropped down in a huge snow storm with the Gekko walking around, sweet. And the entire feel of going down into the Shadow Moses facility was amazing. And let us not forget about the showdown with Vamp. That was spectacular. You controlling Snake on the left half of the screen taking out Gekko with a gigantic railgun while Raiden dukes it out with Vamp up on top of Rex all the while Otakon is trying to get Rex to start working. All this mayhem going on and finally Vamp goes down and yadda yadda yadda, useless story, ZOMG Naomi is a whore, yadda yadda yadda. Oh snap, I get to control Rex. now THAT is what I am talking about. Lets do some kicks, and some guns, and some fracking lasers. THAT is what I am talking about. Is there some way to play as Rex during the entirety of the game? I want that.

So yeah, to me, that was the only really good part of the game. The rest of the game was just "meh".

So let my try to explain this quickly and understandably. MGS4 is like the movie that you go see in the theater and its awesome, so you go buy the game that is based on the movie and it sucks. The only difference is that with MGS4, they give you 40 minutes of movie, and then 40 minutes of gameplay just to make you get to the next part of the movie. And the movie parts of the "game" are really good. I think it got a little too drawn out at parts, but overall a very enjoyable movie.

But this is the problem with the game. And yes, I have had people tell me that "MGS just isn't for you then". I understand that what I don't like about the game is what makes the game unique, I am saying that you all suck for being sucked into the trap that they have set for you. They come up with this very interesting story with all these characters and nothing makes sense so you want to keep watching to figure out what the shit is going on. But what you fail to realize, is that the gameplay that they force upon you in between episodes is crap for a game. I rate the shooter controls are almost as bad as Army of Two, and that game was horse shit.

Now, I know all of you are going to disagree, but I really think that for all of you that have played the game, just think about it again. Really analyze and compare the games controls to other similar games. Compare the sneaking parts to something like Splinter Cell and ask yourself if it is as good as that game. Look at the shooting controls and ask yourself if they are as good as something like Gears of War. Look at the CQC and ask yourself if they are as good as... hmmm... is there any game that is even decent at CQC? fighting games don't count. Anyways, to me, the controls just aren't there. And THAT is what matters to me.

The game could have one of the most incredible narratives ever, but if the actually gameplay sucks dick, then the game sucks dick. If you guys have a PS3, then you have already bought MGS4, as you should have. I definitely recommend the game to any PS3 owner as there is nothing else out to play right now, but if you would have to buy a PS3 just to play MGS4, do not do it.

P.S. Raiden is teh coolest character in the game.

also, cocks

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