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13 Reasons Why GamesRadar is Retarded.
Namelessted | 11:59 PM on 03.28.2008 32 comments


Ok, I am getting sick of GamesRadar. I mean, they have some good stuff from time to time, but they always get these stupid "Top (instert radnom number here)" lists and they all completely suck dick. And I have finally had it with their new "13 Worst Gaming Innovations of all Time" article by Shane Patterson. It really is one of the dumbest pieces of "gaming journalism" I have read in my entire life.

Alright, I am going to put this little blurb here. When I first started writing this blog I was thinking on posting my counter argument to each one of the "innovations" that Games Radar believes is bad. But, then I decided that half of them weren't even innovations as much as they are a feature. Also, this would have been a quite lengthy post so I decided that I should shorten it a bit. So now I have chosen just a couple of these so called terrible innovations that I most disagree with and write about them.



PERIPHERALS

Oh yes, peripherals are one of the worst innovations ever. You have to be kidding me. Do the people at GamesRadar have no fucking clue what they are talking about? They say that having gaming peripherals makes you look not cool. I have a message for you GamesRadar:

FUCK YOU.

If your biggest concern is to look cool while playing games, they you need to go to hell. I am dead serious here, go straight to fucking hell. Some of the best video game experiences are only possible with the use of peripherals; Guitar Hero and Rock Band come to mind. Seriously think about it, where would gaming be without the Power Glove or the Power Pad? How would you be able to play Duck Hunt without the Zapper. And just to add, I have not met a single person that think Guitar Hero is gay after being made to play it except for Ron Workman.



LENSE FLARE

Lense flare? Are you kidding me? You are seriously going to complain about lens flares being a terrible innovation? Shut the fuck up.



QUICK TIME EVENTS

Quick Time Events are fucking awesome. Patterson cites games such as Heavenly Sword and Spiderman 3 as to why QTEs suck. That is just unfair. Citing two bad games as two why a certain feature sucks is like saying 3rd person shooters suck because Kane & Lynch and Army of Two both suck. Why doesn't he mention a god like God of War? He uses GoW for his image, that game is a great example of QTEs done right. I don't know about you, but it is quite satisfying to jump up on a cyclops and stab it in the eyeball to death when I do the button chain correctly.

I just think it is unfair to say a certain game play mechanic or feature is bad just because a game that sucks has it, it is just stupid and completely flawed logic.



3D GAMES

Ok, this is the big one. This might be the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard. It really takes the cake. How the fuck can somebody seriously say that 3D games were a bad innovation? I'm really not sure where to start or what to say exactly. Do I really need to say anything? Honestly, I could write a 12 page paper on how the jump to 3D has propelled video games into a completely new form of entertainment beyond anything that we could have imagined when the only thing we had was the Atari 2600.

What do you guys think. Am I crazy? Is this whole article a joke that I just didn't get? Please tell me that I'm not crazy.

*note*
I know I didn't list 13 reasons in this article. I don't care.



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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28
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Revolt in Colour's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:04
Revolt in Colour
haahaha... seirously? They're complaining about 3-D games?
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:07
Namelessted
VWGTI, you don't get to call dibs.
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:13
VWGTI
My bad, dude.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:19
MrSadistic
I read that article a few days ago. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought some of the items on there were complete bullshit.
zaqu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:44
zaqu
AMAZING write up ted give this give this 4 firetrucks with three ladders raised
zaqu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:46
zaqu
out of 5
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 00:51
Cheeburga
I agree, they get listed on N4g.com all the time, and it's just fucking short retarded top 10's or whatever.
ajaxender's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 01:35
ajaxender
Holy crap. I followed that link, and youre 100% correct. They are fucking morons.

Swimming is a bad innovation? Really? Maybe its not always implemented too well. Maybe its not always fun to do in game.

It sure beats the shit out of drowning.
ajaxender's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 01:40
ajaxender
Ok, i read the rest of it... they cant be serious, can they? Someone tell me they're joking!
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 01:42
TrailerParkJesus
I think it's more like "13 Game Mechanics That Suck Sometimes" but that doesn't sound emphatic enough, so they try sensationalism and use "worst" and "of all time" because it sound more final and gets a better reaction
hammburglar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 02:01
hammburglar
you should watch their video of 100 reasons why fanboys hate gamesradar.
liquidninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 02:19
liquidninja
Opinions people they're just opinions. Also, I don't think they that serious.
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 02:22
VWGTI
@ liquid

Oh, yes they are!
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 02:31
Namelessted
@liquid, I understand they are opinions. I understand that the dude doesn't like certain things in his video games, but it is just stupid and moronic to say that things like 3D were a bad idea.

I mean, from all the things the guy listed my guess would be that his favorite game is some bullshit like Pacman on the 2600, before all the innovation happened.
liquidninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 02:47
liquidninja
"Who? Shane Patterson
What? Associate Features Editor
How did I get here? I wrote for City on a Hill Press, UC Santa Cruz’s newspaper, before graduating with a degree in Film and Digital Media. Once I leapt into the real world, I found that I could turn a phrase well enough to shack up with the misfits at GamesRadar. ProTip: you don’t need pants for a successful job interview.
Stuff I done: MGS4 - Close Quarters Combat and You, 8 officially licensed WTF?! products, The Art of Teabagging
Loves: Films that end in "ommando," The Venture Bros., my dust-covered PS2, naysaying, brand new DVDs and games, Perry Bible Fellowship.
Hates: Garfield, arguing with fanboys, your favorite band, movies based on games, games trying to be movies, truckin'.
Now playing: Super Smash Bros. Brawl, The World Ends with You, Halo 2."


I'm pretty sure he's doesn't hate 3D games.
He was just being entertaining kinda like Yahtzee on Zero Punctuation.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 03:18
Justice
@liquidninja

minus the entertainment.
JDUB X's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 05:32
JDUB X
Heres a reason

THEY GAVE ASSASSINS CREED A 10/10!!!!!!

Im not hating on AC but it is no 10
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 07:53
Aaron Mxy Yost
I agree, this is a pretty lousy list.
NegFactor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 09:13
NegFactor
That article he wrote hurt my soul.

Concerning 3-D, I agree with a need to go back to 2-D. How else am I ever going to get my MEGA MAN 37 with twelve new robots (I hear Hand Man is a badass) and a cyborg version of Dr. Wily?
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 09:38
Velt
real people get paid to write that shit?
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 10:30
njsykora
If escort missions aren't on that list then its not worth my time.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 10:46
king3vbo
Ted is a bitch
Ted is a bitch
Ted is a bitch
Hey hey hey hey hey
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 11:02
Spartacus
Swimming? Swimming?
Namelessted's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/29/2008 11:10
Namelessted
@liquid, if he was trying to be funny like Yahtzee then he completely failed. He will never be that funny and he should just give up.

honestly, they way he wrote it makes it seem serious. If he was going for sarcasm then written word is the worst possible way to convey it. Maybe next time he should do a video if he wants to do a sarcasm piece.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/30/2008 01:42
Bob Muir
I question whether lens flare is even an innovation.
Natali Alinskaya's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2011 10:08
Natali Alinskaya
Hello friends,this is a nice site and I wanted to post a note to let you know, good job! Thanks
Best regards, Natali, CEO of top songs
online music
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