Normally taking two of my favorite things in the world and mashing them together is a good thing. Peanut butter and chocolate, gasoline and matches, comic books and murder simulators. In the case of the 1996 comic book adaptation of id Software's Doom, nothing could be further from the truth.

Most of the free world was thankfully spared any knowledge of it's existence until Richard "Oh God My Face!" Kyanka's feature of the comic for PlanetQuake. Since then, it has achieved nearly legendary status in the Doom community, and spawned it's own share of memes. While many had heard of the comic, few had the opportunity to fully experience it themselves. Neither had I, until I stumbled upon this four-year-old link on Doomworld.com. Yeah, I know. Let me assure you: having finally read it myself, it lives up to the hype.

The Doom Comic was written by Steven "Stupid Nickname" Dehling and Michael "Another Stupid Nickname" Stewart. These two have guaranteed themselves a place in history as the creators of one of the most non compos mentis comic book storylines ever created. It would take ten years for this feat to be topped by Frank Miller's All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder. The art was provided by Tom Grindberg, who believe it or not is an actual comics professional. Let's face it though, this isn't exactly the kind of thing he'll be showing off in his portfolio. I'm not sure whether or not these guys were actually given money to create this, although I assume if they were their wages were paid in bags of Cheetos from the vending machine and methamphetamines.

As mentioned in the introduction to the Doomworld.com feature, one of the best scenes has to be the random environmental soliloquy on page 11. It's like Captain Planet did five lines of brown-brown, went on a killing spree, and suddenly had a moment of clarity in the midst of his rampage. Now that I think about it, the writers may have actually been onto something there. If Al Gore had edited scenes of random demon slaying into An Inconvenient Truth, maybe fewer people would have fallen asleep in the middle of it and the world could have been saved for polar bears everywhere by now.

I realize many of you probably have already seen this prime example of fail so epic it becomes win, but there's a slim chance some of you were too busy having sex and missed it. So without further ramblings on my part:

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE DOOM COMIC!

And may God have mercy on your soul.

Or, if you're like me and completely illiterate you can always watch the Doom Comic Dramatization:



In case that wasn't enough gunplay and bloodshed for you, here's a music video shot by my friends (who you may have seen in Airport Road's Re-Animated). It's a live action Halo CTF match set to Alkaline Trio's "Old School Reasons". Keep an eye out for a Super Scope and Megatron in gun form as just a few of the weapons used. Maybe Jack Thompson has a point about video games inspiring violence...