Ladies and gentlemen…I’ve traveled over half our state to be here tonight. I couldn’t get away sooner because there was a final piece of intel to be captured and I had to destroy the sentry guarding it. That intel is now safely stored in the RED base where BLU shall never see it again. I have more intel stored and more on the way. So..Ladies and gentlemen, if I say I’m a demo man you will agree.

Now you have a great chance here, but bear in mind, you can lose it all if you’re not careful. Out of all the men that claim they are worthy of the uber to destroy the sentries, maybe one in twenty will be demo men; the rest will be soldiers- that’s men trying to get between you and the demo men to get some of the intel that ought by rights come to you. Even if you find one that has stickies, and means to destroy, he’ll maybe know nothing about demolition and he’ll have to hire the job out to a spy, and then you’re depending on a spy who may get distracted and try to knife a medic. That is the way this works.

I do my own demolition, and the medics that uber me uber only me and they’re medics I know. I make it my business to be there and use their charges. I don’t have my stickies bounce off the turret and then abandon the mission. I don’t allow my stickies to be shot away by an engineer. I’m a family man. I run a family business. This is my son and my partner H.W. Plainview(SENTRY NOT DESTROY SELF). We offer you the bond of family that very few demo men can understand. I’m fixed like no other demo man in this field and that’s because I recently procured BLU’s intel. I have two fully loaded launchers ready to put to work. I can load extra stickies onto carts and have them here in a week. I have business connections so I can get a medic for the ubercharge- such things go by friendship in a rush like this. And this is why I can guarantee to start demolishing enemy sentries and secure the intel. I assure you ladies and gentlemen, no matter what the others promise to do, when it comes to the showdown, they won’t be there.



(If I had more motivation, and knew how to take and edit video from tf2, I've already got the basic storyboards for a trailer in my head. Maybe when I get some downtime I'll explore this further.)