Final Fantasy games are like sex: some will be mind-blowing, some will disappoint you, and you never forget your first one. I know I’ll never forget the first time I picked up a copy of Final Fantasy IV, then II in its simple yet seductive red box, at Blockbuster Video. That game totally rocked my nine-year-old world for three glorious nights. I rented it two more times before my parents gave me a copy of my very own for Christmas. Now with my own consistent save file, I blew through the game. (Note to the chillens: Yes, at one point in the distant past, save files stayed with the game cartridge, which made repeated rentals a risky affair for RPGs.) For several wonderful weeks, Cecil and company were my constant companions whenever I had a free moment. The game’s closing credits came all too soon... so I simply restarted the game.

I would embark on this journey at least fifteen more times over the next seventeen years.

To say that Final Fantasy IV has had a significant impact on me as a gamer would be an understatement; the game has affected my entire life. FFIV was the game that turned gaming from a simple childhood toy into a serious hobby and life-long interest. I have played every port and iteration of the game mutliple times, to the point where I know it like the back of my hand. If I’m walking around and my mind starts to wander, it’s very likely I’ll start humming the chocobo or overworld themes. Whenever I write fiction, I will inevitably find myself using songs from FFIV, among others, for writing specific types of characters and scenes. Oh yeah, the whole writing thing began, in part, as a the desire to create a story like that of FFIV. I am not being hyperbolic when I saw that this game was life-changing.



However, a game that is life-changing doesn’t necessarily mean it is worth coming back to again and again, especially to the degree that I’ve found myself returning to Final Fantasy IV. It seems odd that, of all the games I could choose to replay on a nearly annual basis, it would be one of the most linear and streamlined ever made. There are very, very few sidequests in FFIV and the player has almost no control over the development of the characters or the composition of the party. The player is walking down a very narrow corridor, but it's a very well disguised, beautiful, and entertaining corridor, filled with memorable moments and endearing characters. I dare say you could devote an entire season of Chad Concelmo’s “Memory Card” series to this one game.

I still feel a tinge of excitement when Cecil and Kain march out of Baron at the game’s outset with “Opening” playing in the background. I love how Rydia, after watching Cecil defend her from Baron’s soldiers, pauses as she lets go of the vengeful hatred she has for him and the sweet, delicate tones of “Rydia” begin. There’s the feeling of relief and accomplishment when Cecil finally becomes a paladin and achieves redemption at the summet of Mt. Ordeals (complete with the skin-tingling drumroll of “Paladin”.) Then there’s my absolute favorite moment, which is when Rydia returns as a fucking badass and rescues the entire party from Golbez’s dragon in what can only be described as “summoner smackdown”. She even waltzes in right when the most epic of Nobuo Uematsu’s battle themes, “Battle with the Four Fiends” starts up, thus kicking the badassery into high-gear.



You may have noticed that each of those moments was associated with a particular song from the game’s soundtrack. That isn’t a coincidence. Final Fantasy IV began my love affair with video game music and work of Nobuo Uematsu. Before there was easy downloading of music from the internet or digital music players, I was recording the game’s music on my Talkboy (that was the lovely recording device from Home Alone 2) so I could listen to it whenever I wanted. It has been a mainstay on every portable music player I’ve owned and is an album I’ve returned to time and again. Nearly every song on that album has become tied to a number of memories and emotions, and it’s one of the albums I go to when I need a song that’s “just right”, be it for writing inspiration or working out in the gym.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Square has done its level best to keep me coming back. It might surprise you to learn that Final Fantasy IV has no less than four different versions in the United States; not just ports, but versions with substantial differences. This is more than any other Final Fantasy game, except Final Fantasy I. Don’t believe me? Let’s count. There is:

1. The SNES version (original “easy version” in Japan)
2. The PlayStation version (original “normal version” in Japan)
3. The Game Boy Advance version (revamped translation and tons of bonus content)
4. The DS version (polygonal graphical revamp, new gameplay, voice acting, bosses have new tactics)

I have each of these versions and have played them multiple times. As if that weren’t enough, a fifth iteration is coming to the PlayStation Portable that contains another version of the original game (sprite graphics in the style of the PSP Final Fantasy I & II), the sequel The After Years that came out on WiiWare in 2009, and a completely new chapter that bridges the two games. This is being billed as the definitive version of FFIV, and I’d believe it except for the fact that every other version of the game I bought was billed as the definitive version! The worst part is that I already know I’m going to buy this. I want to play this interlude chapter. I want to see what the game looks and plays like with this new graphical interpretation (I really like pretty sprites). Square releases this shit for people like me who have never, ever been able to quit this game!



If this sounds completely ridiculous, I really can’t blame you. The only defense I can give you is that I keep going back to Final Fantasy IV because I grew up with it. This game influenced me more than I would like to admit and, as such, I feel a very strong connection to it. It came at just the right time in my life, when I was young enough to be affected by it but old enough that I would understand it. That’s why I return to it time and again and have this compulsive urge to own every version. I feel like I have this vested interest in what Square does to this beloved game of mine that they have seen fit to update and alter every few years. The fact that Square even sees fit to do this to FFIV, out of all the games in the series, is rather remarkable. I’m not the only person who can’t stop coming back to FFIV, because apparently Square-Enix’s own staff can’t stop either. I choose to believe that this is because this game really is something special and I’m far from the only person who was so deeply affected by it.

I hope I continue returning to Final Fantasy IV throughout my life. I hope that, one day, I will get to show my children this amazing game. Even if they see just a little bit of what I see in it, I will be overjoyed that such a connection exists.