Hey Destructoid, it's been a while hasn't it? how's it going? How've you been? How's the kids? How's the raging case of butt herpes? Still mad at me for boning your smoking hot wife last Kwanzaa? It's all cool, I reckon'



Anyway, after reading Matthew Razor Scooter's blog about being thankful for the fine community here at Dtoid, I thought I'd do my part in ripping off a blog and making it my own.

During my two, or whatever, years here at this site, I've come to realize the many things I am greatful for here in this fine upstanding community. So without further ado, here is what I am thankful for:

I'm thankful for Matthew Razor Scooter for giving me the idea for this bog
I'm thankful for the various amounts of fail blogs that bring copius amounts of butt hurt.
I'm thankful for the one or two of you who don't take me seriously.
I'm thankful for those who love me in a hateful, sexual kind of way.
I'm thankful for the new ladies who show up and post in this otherwise massive sausage fest.
I'm thankful for the random times I show up at FNF, and rock people's fucking faces off.
I'm thankful for Hamza when he sexually undresses me with his avatar's eyes
I'm thankful for people like takeshi, Yojimbo, Naim, and others who disturb even myself when in a one on one conversation.
I'm thankful for Genki and his awesome shitty movie nights.
I'm thankful that I've never met none of you sick bastards in person.
I'm thankful for the spammers who have shown me ways to increase my penis size that I've never known before.
I'm thankful for NihonTiger90's blogs that everyone should read.
I'm thankful for trolls like Nabu.
I'm thankful for naive little bastards like Mk.
I'm thankful for one line blogs that make me question my life.
I'm thankful for the forums.
I'm thankful for the hipster douche bags in said forums.
I'm thankful for the said hipster douche bags in said forums that tolerate me.
I'm thankful for cblog recaps, even though I only look through the fail section.
I'm thankful for awesome, random header images.
I'm thankful for Jim Sterling and his nonsensical satire.
I'm thankful for Geraldo Beedog finding my lost copy of Sports, by Huey Lewis and The News.
I'm thankful for JOURNALISM!
I'm thankful for Dale North, since he's the only editor I would have drunken, college experimentation with. Nick Chester is a close second.
I'm thankful for muthafucking movies like Die Hard and Commando being shown back to back on Thanksgiving. I mean it has nothing to do with this site, I just think it's fucking awesome.
I'm thankful for Destructoid ruining a game's perfect meta critic score.
I'm thankful for random Dtoid users adding me on various game consoles/cilents and not knowing who the hell they are.
I'm thankful for Jon Ross and Naim constantly inviting me to L4D 2 games even though I don't have the god damn game.. yet.
I'm thankful for Hamza's sexy arm hairs.
I'm thankful for drunk blog posts.
I'm thankful for Lola Bunny/Bill Murray Rule 34 porn/fan fic.
I'm thankful for the people who think I'm actually sorta funny.
I'm thankful for L4d fan fiction.
I'm thankful for comments with the caps lock on.
I'm thankful that this site isn't Kotaku.

Most and certainly not least, I'm thankful for this (mostly) fine Destructoid community. There are too many people to name, but most of you people make me laugh, make me cry, and most of you make me butt hurt. I still love you fine people though. Sorta like how a step dad loves his red headed step child with his fist.

I love you Destructoid, Seacrest out. Enjoy some green peaness.

I love softcore HBO porn.

With the open beta slowly coming to a close, gamers have seen plenty of creative user levels from everyone's favorite calculator simulator, Little Big Planet. Now, it seems one creative gamer decided to step it up a notch.



Instead of the ol' boring tradition of getting down on one knee and proposing in real life, Jed05 decided to craft a level in Little Big Planet entirely dedicated to proposing to his girlfriend. Describing why he chose Little Big Planet as his platform, Jed05 stated:

"I've been wanting to do something creative to ask her to marry me, and what a better way than Little Big Planet! I know the last part of the level may not be that exciting, but I have a fiancee now!"

How sweet. Oh sure, the concept of using a video game to propose to someone isn't entirely new, but I applaud the man for putting in the time to create the level.

If you're curious to try the level out yourself (for some God-forsaken reason), it's listed as "Love and Marriage" from user "DimmuJed".

Now excuse me, I have to throw up.

Oh Brett Ratner.

Oh you poor, poor man.

When I was a naive little boy, I thought the first two Rush Hour movies were pretty hilarious. After doing a little growing up (read: none), and watching that god-awful movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, I realized how horribly bad your movies really were. Now comes news of Mr. Ratner wanting people to suffer even more by the hands of his man-made abortions:

During an interview over at MTV Multiplayer, discussing his "Best Director" Video Music Awards nomiation for his work on a Miley Cyrus video (what), Ratner states that he wants to direct a Guitar Hero movie.

No I shit you not.

"I love Guitar Hero and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a Guitar Hero movie, if Activision would ever let me. I’m trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise? Not that I would make a bad movie. So that would be cool, to do a Guitar Hero movie."

Yes, because every movie Brett Ratner has touched is pure gold.

Ratner continues, describing the plot:

"It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the Guitar Hero competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts."

I kept reading over the article hoping that it was some sort of joke gone horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what's worst: the fact he actually wants to make a Guitar Hero movie, or the fact the plot sounds awfully familiar.

Of course nothing is set in stone at this point and it's not like Activision to whore out the Guitar Hero franchise, right? RIGHT?!

With the Pennsylvania primary set for tomorrow, WWE and THQ have paired up in order to show what Clinton's and Obama's "wrasslin'" ring entrances would look like using Smackdown vs. Raw '08.


SmackDown vs Raw 08 `Clinton vs Obama` Trailer

While it does not show any actual in-ring action, it does drive one to the point of tears after watching the abominable Hilary Clinton entrance. What's even more depressing is that WWE has actually sent out invitations to both Obama and Clinton for them to appear on their Monday Night Raw show in order to "settle the Democratic nomination process in the ring".

Sen. Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain will each deliver a taped message to the WWE audience on tonight's episode of Raw.

Yeah, um.. brb crying.

Source: FileFront & WWE.com

After last week's surprise release for the Unreal Tournament III patch, it seems Epic has outdone themselves once again this week.



As of today, new DLC for Unreal Tournament III is out for both the PC and Playstation 3. Did I mention that it is free?

For further details on this awesome news, check out the press release:

Epic and Midway Announce Unreal Tournament 3 PC Has Gone Gold

PlayStation 3 and PC Gamers Can Get Their Frag On With Three New Maps for Unreal Tournament 3

Today, Midway and Epic Games announce that downloadable content for the award-winning first-person shooter, Unreal Tournament 3, is now available for PlayStation 3 and PC. The downloadable content consists of three deadly arenas: Morbias, Facing Worlds and Searchlight. PC users can find the new content at www.unrealtournament3.com, while PS3 users can download it directly from the PlayStation Network.

These downloads, which are free to all owners of Unreal Tournament 3, mark the latest achievement in providing the gaming community with unrivaled mods and superior experiences through the most recent installment in the Unreal Tournament franchise. While Unreal Tournament 3 shipped with 40 maps, and hundreds of user-created mods have been published since the game’s release, Midway and Epic are committed to providing fans with even more official content to further extend enjoyment of the game.

Morbias is the deathmatch arena that started it all, perfectly suited for anything from small intense duels to chaotic free-for-all matches. The Unreal Tournament classic, Facing Worlds was one of the most played maps in gaming history. This beloved sniper map makes its return alongside an intricate new capture the flag map, Searchlight, designed for both z-axis rooftop runs and strategic indoor gameplay. Returning classics and fresh new designs let you experience Unreal gaming like never before.

Unreal Tournament 3 is rated “M” for mature by the ESRB.



A remake of Facing Worlds? Oh fuck yes!

I'm interested in the new Capture The Flag map, Searchlight. From the way they explain it, it sounds pretty spiffy. It's been a long time since I've played Morbias. I just hope it's a faithful translation, along with the epic map that is Facing Worlds.

If you cannot find the new maps on PSN right now just remember that the maps will most likely be live when the Playstation Store is updated later tonight.