This months issue features an article about burning the sacred cows of gaming.
[i]2nd Annual Sacred Cow Barbecue (rip on games that gamers put on amazingly high pedestals)
- Chrono Trigger - "CT proves that RPG dorks will buy anything Japanese and doesn't make a lick of sense. For the rest of us, the game is nothing but a bunch of tired genre cliches..."
- Golden Eye - "For making FPS a console staple, we'll admit Goldeneye is important. But so was the cotton gin, and we're sure not going to waste our weekend playing with one of those."
- Gran Turismo - Oh, Gran Turismo. Where to begin? Or, more importantly, where to end this endlessly dull, poorly designed rust bucket?"
- NFL 2k5 - "Once you strip away the fanboy EA hatred, the game isn't better than another mediocre edition of Madden."
- Half Life - "The greatest FPS of all time? A lot of people would say so, and if that's true, the genre is in worse trouble than we thought."
- Super Smash Bros - SSB is the Celebrity Fit Club of video games;: a bunch of flubby has-beens assembled together to engage in meaningless jumping around for hours on end."
- Rez - "Gamers love a failure, and for this reason, Sega still gets more than its share of love amongst the hardcore crowd...while it's hard to sum up Rez's gameplay in human language, we'll try. You point the reticule at the enemies and they blow up! Crazy! When they blow up, the sounds are almost sorta in time with the music! Wow! Yet another legendary title that completely fails to live up to the hype."[/i]
Can you really even call yourself a game journalist after a piece like this?
Actually, I'm pretty sure I did. Maybe I'm reading it out of Context (a scan might have been better), but this reads like a twelve year old graphics whore writing about games he never played at the time.
I work at GameStop, but I still hate selling that POS magazine. Filled with paid-for reviews, interviews with people I don't care about, and disrespect for the games that actually earn their stars- what a deal!
They get some passable exclusives, but it's still a waste of paper. If the Sacred cow article is in jest, it's pretty much poor taste.
Nah, I've seen this article. It's just a parody and a good exercise in self criticism. Most of the descriptions are just funny but some actually bring up semi-valid points. Plus Sunshine up there chose to quote the parts of the article that make GI look like it's run by total douchebags.
Well, it was supposed to be satire, or writers venting or something, but I didn't think it was all that funny anyway. The Game Infarker thing they do (I think that's what it's called...) is much better.
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You obviously missed the point of the article.
(If you didn't, well glad they're still doing those Sacred Cow pieces)
You're silly.
You obviously missed the point of the article.
Actually, I'm pretty sure I did. Maybe I'm reading it out of Context (a scan might have been better), but this reads like a twelve year old graphics whore writing about games he never played at the time.
Still, I agree about Samsh Bros. ;D
O SHNAP
I work at GameStop, but I still hate selling that POS magazine. Filled with paid-for reviews, interviews with people I don't care about, and disrespect for the games that actually earn their stars- what a deal!
They get some passable exclusives, but it's still a waste of paper. If the Sacred cow article is in jest, it's pretty much poor taste.
@Superhobo
Nah, I've seen this article. It's just a parody and a good exercise in self criticism. Most of the descriptions are just funny but some actually bring up semi-valid points. Plus Sunshine up there chose to quote the parts of the article that make GI look like it's run by total douchebags.
I kind of agree on all but Rez. Rez is the shit. Fuck you, GI.
It's okay, we won't look down on you for your inability to recognize even the most blatantly obvious sarcasm.
-_- satire
By the way, have you ever actually read GI or is this your first issue?
Agreed with FreeDarkwood and John Touch.
You guysssssssssssssssss........................................
Well, it was supposed to be satire, or writers venting or something, but I didn't think it was all that funny anyway. The Game Infarker thing they do (I think that's what it's called...) is much better.
I think this is the second time they've done this... the point is that even the most beloved games can be torn apart. It's a joke. :)
its like joystiq (i said the j word) and their negareview which are actually helpful and could easily be renamed for a cblog
I think a lot of you don't understand what the idiom "Sacred Cow" means.
I don't get it.
I thought it was pretty funny, myself.
It's making fun of the tiniest things on the greatest games. I found it quite hilarious.
It's making fun of the tiniest things on the greatest games. I found it quite hilarious.
I understand the point of the article, but they must be getting so much abuse from rabid fanboys because of it.
Wow I LOLed when I read this. It's great.
Joke or not, I agree with every statement except for the one about Goldeneye.
I can't believe some people don't understand the idea behind all of this. LOL.
It's a fucking JOKE! A SATIRE!
Hide this before you make an even bigger fool of yourself.
The funniest thing about all this is that you actually opened the terrible magazine.
Oh, I *get* the article, but that doesn't mean it very good or funny. :(
Actually, I kind of like Joystiq's negareviews.
@G.I.
them's fight'n words
Haha, Sacred Cow Barbecue sounds delicious! I want me some Halo kabobs with green peppers and mushrooms.