KOBE, TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTE!

I want the LBP codes. Actually, I'll try my shit when I get home.

Very true....

What do you call the sex-change procedure that is given to women?
...
...
An adadicktomy.

I have no real use for either, so, I'll ask for the LBP code, but I'll probably just give it away to someone else. I just thought you'd enjoy this pic I made.

"Philadelphia! Don't forget, when you 'Do'...You gotta wash your hands!"

This is a massive billboard that I see every day on the way to work, in which a local radio personality reminds Philadelphians to wash their hands after shitting. This is apparently a big enough issue that we need a billboard devoted to spreading the word.

I guess this is more sad than funny, though.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
...you said you'd never forget.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid?

Well, he's back in town and he's looking for you.

Call of Duty I guess since I don't have LBP.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is black.

...aaaaaand one last one to finish it all off.

A guy walks into a brothel in much need of attention from a lady. he walks up to the madam and explains his situation. "Good evening. I would like to spend a little time with one of your ladies, but my problem you see is i only have $5 to my name. is there anything you can do to help me?" The madam looks at him for a second in thought and says "Sure." she snatches the money from his hand and says, "go down the hallway and go into room six."

The man walks down the hallway and enters the room, inside he finds a women that is old enough to his grandmother. He shakes that thought from his mind as he is too horny to really care. He needs some relief! he starts talking to the woman and she is putting on her best act for him trying to make him feel comfortable. he quickly ignores all the issues in his head and begins to play it smooth with the woman. He finally gets her on the bed with her legs in the air. he works his way into position and puts his 'member' inside her. He gets it half way in and realizes it feels like broken glass. like someone broke a twelve pack up and put it inside this women. he instantly withdraws and tries to nicely explain what he just felt. the old woman says, well you just stand there for a second and let me see what i can do. she spreads her legs and lets her fingers go to work. she puts on quite a show for the man and gets him completely interested again. she finally says, "ok, give it another go cowboy." He gets back on top of her and puts his 'member' inside her. This time, though, he is surprised to find that what once felt like broken glass felt like the softest, warmest thing he had ever laid into [pun?] he completely forgets what had shocked him a few moments ago and he gives this woman the most vigorous and energetic performance he had ever given. he finishes and slides off the top of her. he spends a couple of minutes regaining his composure while she lights up a cigarette.

he finally catches his breath and is compelled to ask about what just happened. he says, "wow, that was amazing, first it felt like broken glass, then you fingered yourself and afterwords it was the most amazing thing i've ever had the pleasure of 'spending time with'. what is your secret? what did you do to make it so wonderful?" She takes a drag off her cigarette, looks at him, smiles just the smallest bit and says, "Well once you break up all the scabs ...."

A man is out camping with his family on their annual vacation. They're sitting around the campfire, roasting marshmallows, and telling ghost stories when all of a sudden a bear emerges from the brush surrounding the campsite.

The bear rears up on its hind legs and says, "I would like a Jack.......... and Coke."

The man looks curiously at the bear and asks, "What's with the big pause?"

"What, these?" the bear responds. "Had 'em my whole life."

Yea...I left out that everyone on your team was hurt or suspended...Lol. Emailing now.

I was eating when I read that nasty ass last one you fucker...

Oh yeah, PROTIP: Don't read that last joke while eating. Seriously.