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[NVGR / Shortblog] Samit Sarkar and the Severed Penis - Destructoid


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Are we done talking in the third person now? Thank goodness. Boner.

Anyway, I'm (R)Andy. My favorite game is Half-Life 2, my favorite beverage is Mountain Dew, and I sometimes wear a pink robe:

I have two really fucking awesome kids:

And a sexy hot wife:

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I think all this Hotline Miami fan art has gone to my head, because I've been having some seriously fucked up dreams lately.

The first took place on Wednesday night. I dreamt that I was hanging out with Good Guy Greg when he began choking on something. A few of us lined up and started slapping him, Airplane-style, trying to get him to shut the fuck up so we could continue playing poker (note: I just now realized we were playing poker), when finally someone stepped up who had seen a TV show in his life and performed the Heimlich maneuver.

What came out was a bloodied, severed penis.

The latest dream was from last night, where I was sitting in a bar with Conor Elsea and a bunch of random people, and we had just found out that our team had lost Road Rules. (Is Road Rules even something that you win or lose as a team? I have no idea. I bet this guy does.) Anyway, I went to the bathroom, and when I came out everyone in the bar was gone so I headed to my car.

That's when Samit Sarkar appeared and started shooting at me. Motherfucker couldn't hit shit.

Really looking forward to tonight. I'll keep you updated.

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