Due to an uninteresting series of events, my family will be moving to Boise on March 8th. I will continue working at my same day job (from home) and also performing my Dtoid duties (hehe, doody), so not much will change other than the fact that I will have no IRL friends to play couch co-op with and touch in romantic ways.
And so, I write this blog with one simple plea: are there any Boise-area Dtoiders out there? And if so, will one of you be my friend?
As my daily duties direct my attention elsewhere and I find myself being pulled in more directions than my penis when my wife and kids are gone for the weekend and I have the house to myself, I've found myself more and more in need of someone who can offer the Community Blogs the love and attention they truly deserve. Someone to laugh with you. Someone to cry with you. And someone to fucking cut you when you post four goddamn blogs back to back promoting your goddamn YouTube videos.
Well after some serious soul searching (I am the king of alliteration) and more than a few faps, it hit me (not the fap): what better person to fill that role than the only man I've ever allowed to wear my robe*?!
*Not true. Many men have worn my robe. I am a slut.
Occam's role here will be much the same as Mxy's and Bloodspray's in the Forums: help new members find their voice (and not piss off the rest of us), encourage fun and fruitful discourse, and be your go-to guy for all things bloggin'. I mean, the dude's already here 24/7, so I might as well give him a job, right?
With Occam's help, I also hope to give a jump-start to the fledgling blog promotion process, which I have sadly not been able to stay on top of by myself. Between the two of us, we will certainly see a lot more promote-able blogs than any one man could on his own (because my two eyes + his three eyes = five eyes), so please, PLEASE keep writing them!
And that's about it! Let's all give Occam a hearty reacharound I MEAN CONGRATULATIONS and wish him well with his new gig. Together -- and that includes you! -- we will inject a bit of much-needed and long-overdue love juice back into this place, and I can't wait to see where we go from here.
I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know how much you mean to me. If it weren't for Destructoid, I wouldn't be half the person -- half the husband, half the father, half the man -- I am today. This place means the world to me, and I couldn't -- wouldn't! -- do it without each and every one of you!
I hope you all have a wonderful whatever-it-is-you-celebrate-this-time-of-the-year. I love you all!
I want to start doing this every weekend. Let's take over the front page! "Dtoid Community Weekends." Help me make it happen.
Go create something beautiful. Or awful. Or hilarious. Or insightful. I don't care what. Just go create.
Have I missed something of yours recently? I couldn't be more sorry. Please never hesitate to email me a link; you'd be surprised how many blogs hit the front page just because someone bugged me about them.
"Also, cocks" is gone. The "Fap" button is gone. Chad, Colette, Brad, Samit, Uncle Reg, and every other person and thing you've ever loved is gone. And it's safe to say none of them are coming back.
But Dtoid is not gone. We're right fucking here. There may be some new writers on the front page and new usernames in the comments and blogs, but the heart and soul of this place lives on as long as Yanier Gonzalez is still pushing buttons behind the scenes and sometimes also breaking things but it's OK because we love you boss please don't fire me.
At one point, you were new here and you didn't know anybody. And then eventually you knew everybody. And then either you or everybody you knew left and now there's all these new people and it sucks. I get it. I really do. Things change. Sometimes that's scary. When your favorite commenters, bloggers, or writers leave, something irreplaceable is lost that no amount of new people can ever replace. It sucks. And there's nothing we can do about it.
Or is there? People may come and go, but it's up to those of us who stay behind to adapt and keep this place as fun and active a community full of fun and active people as we can. It's up to us.
So you say you wanna start having fun again? Then fucking start having fun again. The Cblogs are yours. The comments are yours. What's the fucking problem?
There's no denying that this industry is changing. "Maturing," some might say. (I wouldn't.) Yes, serious topics like sex and race are going to be discussed. Yes, people you don't agree with are going to be interviewed. That's just an inevitability as more and more people becoming interested in our hobby, and it's not going to change. But these are still videogames, and they're still meant to be fun. But they're only going to be as fun as we want them to be.
I'm not advocating turning "serious" articles into dumping grounds for your random gifs. Let the people who like talking about such things have their forums; it literally DOES NOT AFFECT YOU THAT SUCH THINGS EXIST. But when a boring or questionable news article gets posted, it's OK to fill it with images of people eating salad. Failblogs are great places to sing Journey songs together. Slow day in the Cblogs? Write a silly blog. Start a silly meme. Potatoes. Mazmar. Whatever. Do fun things. This isn't a license to be a fucking asshole, just a reassurance that neither I nor anyone under my authority will stand in your way of just having a good, lighthearted time.
I don't mod comments or blogs for being off-topic; if I did, this guy would have been banned years ago. I mod comments when the person who wrote them is being a fucking asshole. So don't be a fucking asshole and we'll never treat you like one. It's OK to disagree with people, and it's OK to say as much. But it's not now and never has been OK to treat people like shit, and anyone who misses "the good old days" where they could was never a true Dtoider to begin with.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on the matter. I'm going to go masturbate on the toilet now.